Guys opinion: Girls who don't drink
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It's a product of your choice of hang outs. People go to bars to drink, not order soda or water. And for your lifestyle you shouldn't be interested in meeting people there. You should be meeting people at the gym or exercise events.0
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I don't understand the people that say you have to drink when you are at a bar. We always have at least one person with us that is the DD so they are not drinking. They are having just as good as time as the ones drinking because the ones drinking always make sure to include them in. They are usually the first ones on the dance floor dragging the ones that are stuck at the bar waiting for a drink.0
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I actually prefer it. I don't drink, so it makes for a better relationship. I like to get up early on the weekends, drive somewhere far away from the city traffic, and go hiking. That's a tough sell to someone who has been up until 3AM pounding shots of whiskey. For those who do both - you're a champion.
At 21, I can see it seeming difficult. Almost everyone drinks to excess at that age, at least in the circles I ran in. Some people get self conscious around or even offended by someone who won't do the same. For the most part, though, I think if you give you reason honestly and with a bit of humor it will only garner respect from those around you. Most people give me a chuckle and a "Oh man, I feel you - good for you, I should probably do the same" when I explain to them I got tired of waking up on the floor wondering what I did last night. Rare others have made it clear that they would not date me if I didn't drink. Good, dodged a bullet there.
I think the trick is to make it very clear that it is a PERSONAL choice and that you have absolutely nothing against alcohol in general or those who drink it out of a funnel. Sounds like you're already on track with that.
LOL I'm a Champion then (I don't get hangovers so drinking doesn't slow me down the next day)
I think your biggest problem with not drinking is your age group. Your young and most people your age are just testing thier boundries. Dont make a big deal of it. I have a friend whose a nondrinker but loves coming to the bar with us...SHe just puts a lime or lemon wedge on the side of her sprite glass. No one can tell there no vodka in that glass... So no random stranger bothering her about not drinking...... I think alot of people might feel that they are being judged if you go to a bar and are the "sober one" ... On the other hand my friends would love having you around because you would be permanite DD lol..... Also try meeting guys in places where they are sober.... They are less likely to care you don't drink0 -
Oh I didn't realize your from FLlike me. That probably part of the problem lol.... We do have quite a party culture around here don't we . Alot of nondrinkers I know simply tell people ther not big drinkers and their the DD for the night. It usually gets the guys pushing drinks to back off.0
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I don't necessarily drink every time I go out myself, so I suppose I wouldn't mind a girl who doesn't drink much (or rarely).
However, I'd like a girl who doesn't mind: trying a new beer she's never tried before, drinks on the odd occasion, celebrate a good news with a glass of champagne once a year.
In other words, someone who doesn't make a statement of not drinking and isn't judgmental if I choose to drink on a particular night.0 -
almost every guy that i have spoken to, or gone on a date with, has had an issue with me not drinking. i can't say i understand it at all. they get all uncomfortable even if i'm sitting AT the bar with them! i've had some make comments about lowering inhibitions, etc. they don't even bother to get to know me, to learn that i have zero issues lowering inhibitions stone cold sober, LOL! i have dated ONE guy that didn't seem to mind. he never drank when we were out either, by choice.
my friends are all big drinkers. we go to clubs, and bars, and wineries ( there are millions where i live). i am always DD. i'm ok with that. if they go out and i don't go along, they usually call me if they need a ride. i'm ok with that too! i'm more daring and willing to take risks, meet random strangers, and kiss someone in public sober than most of my friends are under the influence :-)0 -
I won't date women who don't drink. It's just not normal. This is one of the red flags on a first date that almost guarantees there won't be a second date. I know that sounds strange, even a bit closed minded, but I've had lots of experience: I'm just not compatible with women who don't drink. So no need to waste each other's time.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for someone who drinks a lot. I certainly don't. I only drink socially, and rarely more than once or twice a week, max. But what's wrong with having a glass of wine with a nice meal? Or sitting outside in the summer having a beer or two? Celebrating a birthday or holiday with champagne?
As the Greeks noted, everything in moderation.
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I drank from age 16 to 20 and I feel like it's just unnecessary for my goals and ambitions.
I just can't follow the logic here. Where is the link between having a glass of wine with dinner and your "goals and ambitions"? Are you worried that after one glass of Merlot with your steak you're going to assault your boss?
Similar logic:
I played squash from 16 to 20, but I feel it's just unnecessary for my goals and ambitions.
I collected stamps from 16 to 20, but I feel it's just unnecessary for my goals and ambitions.
I drank organic milk from 16 to 20, but I feel it's just unnecessary for my goals and ambitions.
And this is why I just couldn't date someone who doesn't drink. It's not about the alcohol per se, it's the logic behind the decision not to drink. It rarely makes sense. That's what irks me.
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I drank from age 16 to 20 and I feel like it's just unnecessary for my goals and ambitions.
I just can't follow the logic here. Where is the link between having a glass of wine with dinner and your "goals and ambitions"? Are you worried that after one glass of Merlot with your steak you're going to assault your boss?
Similar logic:
I played squash from 16 to 20, but I feel it's just unnecessary for my goals and ambitions.
I collected stamps from 16 to 20, but I feel it's just unnecessary for my goals and ambitions.
I drank organic milk from 16 to 20, but I feel it's just unnecessary for my goals and ambitions.
And this is why I just couldn't date someone who doesn't drink. It's not about the alcohol per se, it's the logic behind the decision not to drink. It rarely makes sense. That's what irks me.
--P
What if someone is a recovering alcoholic or it was against their religion?0 -
Recovering alcoholic, sure. That I could understand. But I'm not sure I could date someone who allowed themselves to abuse alcohol until it became an addiction. That's lack of self-control, which is a huge turn off. So while I certainly understand her reason for not drinking (recovering alcoholic), I probably wouldn't want to date someone who got into that situation. Perhaps that sounds cruel, but I'm just being honest.
As to religion, well that's just silly. Who cares what people wrote 2500 years ago about alcohol consumption? These were people who kept slaves and believed evil spirits caused illness.
Besides, religious people are very selective in what they deem verboten, anyway. Christians, for example, cherry pick parts of the Bible they still consider relevant, ignoring the rest.
And by the way, why are Christians against alcohol consumption? Muslims, OK, I understand why, Mohammed was quite clear on that. It's still ridiculous, but I understand Muslims' reasons for not drinking alcohol.
But Christians? Didn't Jesus (assuming he existed, which I highly doubt) turn water into wine? I assume it was to drink, no? So what's the problem? How did modern Christians evolve into such teetotalers? "No thanks, Jesus, I'm a good Christian, so no wine for me! I'll just have the bread." LOL!
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i stopped drinking years ago. like 2000. some stuff went down with my ex and it was ugly so I refused to ever drink around him again. then i got pregnant and had babies for a couple of years. the ONLY times i have had any kind of drink since 2000 was around girlfriends that i KNEW i could trust. i have refused to drink around guys since 2000, unless my friends have their hubbies with them.
if a guy won't date me because he believes that you can't enjoy an event without a glass of something, we won't be a good fit, so i am ok with that. i'd rather date someone that knows how to let lose, have a good time, be stupid, silly, daring and throw caution to the wind without alcohol :-)0 -
Sigh. Not all modern Christians are teetotalers. Really, the only group of modern Christians with whom I have interacted who don't believe in alcohol are Baptists, in whatever form. Most other Christian groups take a much more moderate approach, i.e. drinking to excess is a sin, drinking in moderation is not. Jesus most definitely drank real wine.
Edit to add: Granted, I have not interacted with every Christian denomination out there, but being a church musician who goes where I am paid, well, I've worked with quite a few 0 -
But I'm not sure I could date someone who allowed themselves to abuse alcohol until it became an addiction. That's lack of self-control, which is a huge turn off.
Good thing we're not trying to get in each other's pants.
Most medical professionals would argue that people do not "allow" themselves to build up an addiction - that there is a genetic predispostion as well as contributing factors with what conditions a child was raised in. Eventually it is something that person needs to take responsibility for and take control of whatever they've become. You can see this as a red flag for someone with issues or maybe even someone who has worked harder than most to overcome a bad deal of the cards. I understand if someone chooses not to date me because of my past - it's a valid reason.
Also, some people have simply never drank and choose not to drink because their family has history with drug/alcohol abuse.0 -
But I'm not sure I could date someone who allowed themselves to abuse alcohol until it became an addiction.
Good thing we're not trying to get in each other's pants.
Most medical professionals would argue that people do not "allow" themselves to build up an addiction - that there is a genetic predispostion as well as contributing factors with what conditions a child was raised in. Eventually it is something that person needs to take responsibility for and take control of whatever they've become. You can see this as a red flag for someone with issues or maybe even someone who has worked harder than most to overcome a bad deal of the cards. I understand if someone chooses not to date me because of my past - it's a valid reason.
Also, some people have simply never drank and choose not to drink because their family has history with drug/alcohol abuse.
Right again.
Like many things, alcohol addiction is not a choice...but something that the person has to recognize and deal with. Same as an addiction to food, gambling, etc.. There are changes in the brain when you're addicted.0 -
i know loads of baptists that get TANKED often! i've seen some of the women get so drunk at neighborhood parties they start FLASHING the crowd! the baptists i know are some of the heaviest drinkers i know, LOL!Sigh. Not all modern Christians are teetotalers. Really, the only group of modern Christians with whom I have interacted who don't believe in alcohol are Baptists, in whatever form. Most other Christian groups take a much more moderate approach, i.e. drinking to excess is a sin, drinking in moderation is not. Jesus most definitely drank real wine.
Edit to add: Granted, I have not interacted with every Christian denomination out there, but being a church musician who goes where I am paid, well, I've worked with quite a few0 -
Not sure which Baptists you've been interacting with. I went to two major Baptist institutions in undergrad, and in both institutions drinking alcohol in any form, even with one's parents at home, resulted in immediate expulsion.
Not saying Baptists individually don't drink, but according to the Baptist denominations it is a sin.
Also, forgive me. Apparently the United Methodist Church frowns upon alcohol as well, though not to the same extent as the Baptists.0 -
i don't know what kinds of Baptists they are. there is one HUGE baptist church in our town, and i've seen plenty of their members drunk, drinking, out at the wineries, bars, etc.
i was with a friend yesterday who goes there and she drank almost an entire bottle of wine by herself!
so, yeah, i don't know. this town is my first experience with baptists :-)0 -
When I mentioned religion I was actually thinking of Mormons and JWs.0
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When I mentioned religion I was actually thinking of Mormons and JWs.
That makes sense. I was responding to the allegation that modern Christians are teetotalers 0 -
I know Baylor University in Waco Texas is a baptist university. It is very conservative and I believe alcohol is banned on campus. About 10 years ago Play Boy did a Girls of the Big 12 Conference issue in which a few girls in bikinis were photographed with several guys in a volleyball pit outside a Frat House. The university expelled every student male and female in the picture and suspended the charter of the fraternity where it happened.0
