I need encouragement.
TanKiwi2394
Posts: 21
I'm 19 year old Female, 5'7, weight train 3-4 days a week, cardio 1-2 days a week, and over weight. Not obese.
Here is my story
Freshmen year in high school i decided to lose weight, i got a gym membership and would do crazy amounts of cardio. An hour everyday for a few months, i soon started to lose weight. But i realized i hated doing this cardio thing everyday, i had to increase it slowly just to get some results and it became too difficult. My father, being a military guy, he is a bit overweight himself though tried to "train me". He would make me do light weights with lots of reps. I could never lose weight and my father would scream at me saying that i was over eating and not working out hard enough. I stopped eating as much and started counting my calories. For 2 years i would eat 1200 calories, i lost about 20 pounds before i hit a plateau. This is around my junior year of high school. I then thought maybe i needed to work out more, so i would do about an hour of cardio with an hour of weight training with the 1200 calories, daily. I didnt lose weight. My father would tell me that i was doing something wrong, that i still ate too much and i didnt work out enough. He made me do 2 hours of cardio everyday with an hour of weight training. During my senior year of high school i think i had undiagnosed depression with suicidal tendencies. I wanted to die. I thought to myself, maybe im not eating enough? So i started eating 100 calories more for a few months then slowly increase. I went to a point of 1700 calories and i still didnt lose weight, in fact i gained all my weight, and more back. I lost my period completely at one point and started to get intense pains in my right leg just from walking. My doctor told me i was malnourished and that i had a developing stress fracture in my leg. My parents wouldnt let me go to therapy for my then diagnosed depression because they thought i was being over dramatic. At the end of my senior year, after loads of frustration, continuous intense workouts, and low calories, i came across EM2WL. It's then that i learned i needed to work out a lot less, with moderates amount of weight training and cardio, and eat 2500 calories just to maintain my weight. So i started to eat more at 2500 calories. I went to college and stopped counting calories, i would just eat whatever, and workout, i of course gained a few pounds but nothing much. Now that it's summer, i'm home and able to eat 2500 calories controllably with healthy foods and regularly workout. I love to weight train and i see myself improving everyday. I love how i dont have to do crazy amounts of cardio. And even though im heavier, im a lot more confident than i was before. My parents have really strong idealisms and keep telling me that im fat, that im worthless, that im not a daughter that they raised, if i was raised well i would have been skinnier, and that im not attractive in general. My father is looking at my weight training like it is disgusting and told me I need to stop weight training "like a man" and start doing cardio "like a woman". My mother is telling me i eat too much and that i need to start eating like i did before (1200 calories), and that i need to stop drinking so much water because i will get even more fat from it. I just have till the end of this month till i can cut down to 2100 calories (i have been eating 2500 calories healthily for two months now) and start seeing some fat loss (hopefully). I just know that i've gotten stronger (seeing myself lifting more and more), i eat more and i dont feel like im going to drop dead within the next min, and that im generally happier. But having to deal with parents getting upset with me for how i look is starting to get hard. I need encouragement to help me see that there is a future, that i can reach my goals. That i will drop fat by eating like a regular person and working out 3-5 times a week of mostly weight training and a couple days of cardio. My parents make me so fearful about my future and that all i will do is just gain weight and i can never lose weight this way.
Please tell me what im doing is okay, that its completely okay with weight training and i will someday lose weight... Thanks
Here is my story
Freshmen year in high school i decided to lose weight, i got a gym membership and would do crazy amounts of cardio. An hour everyday for a few months, i soon started to lose weight. But i realized i hated doing this cardio thing everyday, i had to increase it slowly just to get some results and it became too difficult. My father, being a military guy, he is a bit overweight himself though tried to "train me". He would make me do light weights with lots of reps. I could never lose weight and my father would scream at me saying that i was over eating and not working out hard enough. I stopped eating as much and started counting my calories. For 2 years i would eat 1200 calories, i lost about 20 pounds before i hit a plateau. This is around my junior year of high school. I then thought maybe i needed to work out more, so i would do about an hour of cardio with an hour of weight training with the 1200 calories, daily. I didnt lose weight. My father would tell me that i was doing something wrong, that i still ate too much and i didnt work out enough. He made me do 2 hours of cardio everyday with an hour of weight training. During my senior year of high school i think i had undiagnosed depression with suicidal tendencies. I wanted to die. I thought to myself, maybe im not eating enough? So i started eating 100 calories more for a few months then slowly increase. I went to a point of 1700 calories and i still didnt lose weight, in fact i gained all my weight, and more back. I lost my period completely at one point and started to get intense pains in my right leg just from walking. My doctor told me i was malnourished and that i had a developing stress fracture in my leg. My parents wouldnt let me go to therapy for my then diagnosed depression because they thought i was being over dramatic. At the end of my senior year, after loads of frustration, continuous intense workouts, and low calories, i came across EM2WL. It's then that i learned i needed to work out a lot less, with moderates amount of weight training and cardio, and eat 2500 calories just to maintain my weight. So i started to eat more at 2500 calories. I went to college and stopped counting calories, i would just eat whatever, and workout, i of course gained a few pounds but nothing much. Now that it's summer, i'm home and able to eat 2500 calories controllably with healthy foods and regularly workout. I love to weight train and i see myself improving everyday. I love how i dont have to do crazy amounts of cardio. And even though im heavier, im a lot more confident than i was before. My parents have really strong idealisms and keep telling me that im fat, that im worthless, that im not a daughter that they raised, if i was raised well i would have been skinnier, and that im not attractive in general. My father is looking at my weight training like it is disgusting and told me I need to stop weight training "like a man" and start doing cardio "like a woman". My mother is telling me i eat too much and that i need to start eating like i did before (1200 calories), and that i need to stop drinking so much water because i will get even more fat from it. I just have till the end of this month till i can cut down to 2100 calories (i have been eating 2500 calories healthily for two months now) and start seeing some fat loss (hopefully). I just know that i've gotten stronger (seeing myself lifting more and more), i eat more and i dont feel like im going to drop dead within the next min, and that im generally happier. But having to deal with parents getting upset with me for how i look is starting to get hard. I need encouragement to help me see that there is a future, that i can reach my goals. That i will drop fat by eating like a regular person and working out 3-5 times a week of mostly weight training and a couple days of cardio. My parents make me so fearful about my future and that all i will do is just gain weight and i can never lose weight this way.
Please tell me what im doing is okay, that its completely okay with weight training and i will someday lose weight... Thanks
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Replies
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Your parents are abusive and I'm so sorry that you have to live with that. In addition to be abusive, they're also completely wrong.
Good for you for finding the right healthy answer for yourself. I hope you can get to a supportive environment soon. :-(0 -
Wow, I am so sorry that your parents are so mentally abusive. That is so sad.....
But, congratulations to you for taking control of your own life! Yes, it sounds like you are on the right track, and that is confirmed by the fact that you feel so much better! You know that what your parents propose that you do does *not* work long-term, and only makes you feel terrible (as you well know...)
Yes, as long as you are eating at or below TDEE and following the exercise program you have outlined you will do great! Remember, it may take some time before your body totally trusts that it will not be abused as it was in the past.
Keep up the awesome work - I think your body is telling you that you are on the right track! Listen to your body...
I hope you find some peace and comfort soon - sending warm thoughts your way..............0 -
Wow, I am so sorry that your parents are so mentally abusive. That is so sad.....
But, congratulations to you for taking control of your own life! Yes, it sounds like you are on the right track, and that is confirmed by the fact that you feel so much better! You know that what your parents propose that you do does *not* work long-term, and only makes you feel terrible (as you well know...)
Yes, as long as you are eating at or below TDEE and following the exercise program you have outlined you will do great! Remember, it may take some time before your body totally trusts that it will not be abused as it was in the past.
Keep up the awesome work - I think your body is telling you that you are on the right track! Listen to your body...
I hope you find some peace and comfort soon - sending warm thoughts your way..............
Ditto what Anitra said on everything!0
