Being judged
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TheresaEdwardsmfp
Posts: 64 Member
It's very difficult when I feel that people are judging me because. I want to lose weight. I only want to lose a few pounds, not lots. I just want to feel like I did before, it's not that I think I'm too big, or unheathly, just that I want to feel good again.
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Is this family, friends or here on MFP? What I do is not mention I am trying to lose weight. Or if it comes up and they ask questions, saying things like "just trying to eat healthier or trying to get more fit" usually work.6
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Ah no, it's defo not anyone on this site. It's defo family and friends. They're not being mean, they're just not understanding where I'm coming from. I have 4 sisters and 4 brothers. They always see me as I was, not as I feel.1
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I agree with not phrasing it in terms of losing weight, but instead phrasing it in terms of wanting to get healthier and more fit. Which is what you’ve said you are really after anyway. I think most people can get behind a desire to feel healthier even if they think you don’t need to lose weight.
Good luck!1 -
I NEVER but NEVER bring it up around family or friends in real life. 1. They'll tell me I don't need to lose anything and pass me a cookie. 2. Suddenly be full of 'helpful tips' & appoint themselves as food/exercise police. I don't like either scenario so I religiously log everything on here and DO NOT discuss with them.12
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One of the most freeing and important things I learned in life is to keep my plans (especially personal stuff) to myself, and not to give a damn about everyone's opinion. You can't please everyone. Do your thing.6
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Pretty much what everyone else said. No one needs to know what I'm doing. I exercise and eat the same types of foods regardless of whether I am trying to lose weight so there's really nothing for them to notice anyway, I would have to specifically tell them.2
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It's like being embarrassed to run in front of people , that was me , until my husband made me realize that it's my life and my story , the people around you are not the ones writing your story ,you are .. that really helped me soooo much . ❤️6
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YES to what everyone said
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I'm small framed and while I used to be quite heavy now I am petite and within a heathy weight range. I am conscious of my weight as without being careful I gain easily and to family and friends I am the fussy one. I'm okay with that because being the fussy one is much better for me than being the fat one.
I also think that sometimes me being careful results in them thinking about their weight, health or fitness habits which can cause them to feel guilty about the choices they are making.3 -
I feel the same way.. I only want to lose a little weight, get fit and fit into the clothes I already have, but the high bllood pressure diagnosis scared me and gave me an incentive to get moving again. I only stand 4 11 and 3/4 tall and no one sees me as overweight, but at that small stature even a little shows quickly.. I am finally feeling better, am doing something every day to get in better shape and lose the dangerous fat that sneaks up on all of us.. one of my clients was very controlling and stressed me out to the point it made me sick, literally. She died in November and
then in Dec was the high blood pressure.. Since working out and walking it is in the god to normal range and i check it often..Its a silent killer, as I did not feel any different, but after seeing th readings i knew it was a problem. I hate it when others judge and look at you and are puzzled that you want to lose so I just say I want to get in shape and not have a sedentary life style. I just turned 62 and aging issues sneak up very quickly, so Gilrs, I support you getting healthy!! we are all in it to win it in a sense of speaking.. I only share with those that will support me and some of my friends and family are there for me, those are the ones you want to share with and get support from.. so keep up the good work!!3 -
You know, I think it might be a woman thing. No one has ever commented on my husband's appearance, but when I meet someone the second or third comment is about my appearance....
BTW, I'm seeking some MFP friends for peer support, so please send me a friend request!2 -
I feel the same way.. I only want to lose a little weight, get fit and fit into the clothes I already have, but the high bllood pressure diagnosis scared me and gave me an incentive to get moving again. I only stand 4 11 and 3/4 tall and no one sees me as overweight, but at that small stature even a little shows quickly.. I am finally feeling better, am doing something every day to get in better shape and lose the dangerous fat that sneaks up on all of us.. one of my clients was very controlling and stressed me out to the point it made me sick, literally. She died in November and
then in Dec was the high blood pressure.. Since working out and walking it is in the god to normal range and i check it often..Its a silent killer, as I did not feel any different, but after seeing th readings i knew it was a problem. I hate it when others judge and look at you and are puzzled that you want to lose so I just say I want to get in shape and not have a sedentary life style. I just turned 62 and aging issues sneak up very quickly, so Gilrs, I support you getting healthy!! we are all in it to win it in a sense of speaking.. I only share with those that will support me and some of my friends and family are there for me, those are the ones you want to share with and get support from.. so keep up the good work!!
Thank you for sharing and you are an encouragement to me. I can relate to everything you posted as I am 4'11" as well. Doctor's goal weight for me is 100 lbs which sounds ridiculously low but is the middle range of normal in the Asian American bmi chart. I'm struggling to lose the last 10 lbs with fluctuations but within normal bmi. People say I don't need to lose anymore but it really is about my inside health of fatty liver disease. Finally someone understands!6 -
That's what is so awesome about MFP. And this particular group. ***WE GET IT!!*** As a smaller petite gal the most I have ever been over is say 30 pounds. But because of yo yo ing over the years most of it was fat. I could hide it pretty durn well but boy did it make my knees hurt going up steps. So we do this for ourselves and we have a good group of support women here for sure!2
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I usually talk about aiming to gain healthy muscle and achieve fitness goals like running or climbing, and don't mention fat loss even when it's in my plan! Not that I think you need to justify anything to others, but this enables me to discuss health in a positive way with people without being told I shouldn't be losing weight. People dont like too much change in those they know, especially if you're under average and slim, but they do get used to it once it happens.3
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Not everybody understands a desire to be healthier or fitter, or to look a certain way. If I can stop myself from seeking the approval of others, I find that I am much happier. Easier said than done, of course, for most of us, but you need answer only to yourself.2
