Why would a guy do this?
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What matters is the fact that he's not making an effort to stay in touch with you when he clearly has Internet access since he's still playing around on the dating site. I don't give a flying crap how much it costs to text someone from abroad. It costs nothing to send an email. So let's cut the touchy-feely "maybe he's confused/poor/tired/sad/hungry/banging someone else" BS and boil this down to the fact that if he liked you and intended to have any kind of relationship with you, he would not be behaving as though you don't exist.
Thank you! I think I really needed to hear this.0 -
What matters is the fact that he's not making an effort to stay in touch with you when he clearly has Internet access since he's still playing around on the dating site. I don't give a flying crap how much it costs to text someone from abroad. It costs nothing to send an email. So let's cut the touchy-feely "maybe he's confused/poor/tired/sad/hungry/banging someone else" BS and boil this down to the fact that if he liked you and intended to have any kind of relationship with you, he would not be behaving as though you don't exist.
Thank you! I think I really needed to hear this.
I don't think you can say for sure that he's on everyday. He could very well have an app on his phone that is activated and makes it appear as though he is accessing the site daily. However, I doubt the he got his phone bill yesterday and decided he can't afford to text anymore either. I really have no idea why he isn't communicating with you. It could be that he's playing you. It could be an oversight. His phone could have been stolen for all I know. As I said before, I think that the bigger question is why it is impacting you as strongly as it seems to be.0 -
I don't post over here much anymore, but this has to be said: this guy is not into you. Who knows why he told you he was falling for you and that he missed you and looked at your photos every day and blah blah blah? It doesn't matter what he said. People lie all the time for all kinds of reasons.
What matters is the fact that he's not making an effort to stay in touch with you when he clearly has Internet access since he's still playing around on the dating site. I don't give a flying crap how much it costs to text someone from abroad. It costs nothing to send an email. So let's cut the touchy-feely "maybe he's confused/poor/tired/sad/hungry/banging someone else" BS and boil this down to the fact that if he liked you and intended to have any kind of relationship with you, he would not be behaving as though you don't exist.
Agreed.
Girl he's just not that into you. Now concentrate on the other men who are communicative!0 -
I've done this to guys in the past (no not recently...). Was it right, maybe. Maybe not. Bottom line, I really wasn't into them the first time around. We had a "nice" time when we went out. There wasn't any chemistry, but there really wasn't anything wrong with them. I couldn't figure out a good way to explain this, so I poofed and dated around. When the well dried up, I was bored, I thought "what was it that didn't work with Joe Blow...he was a nice guy." So, I'd send out the cold text to see if there was still any interest. Sometimes we'd go out again and I'd figure it out. Sometimes I'd remember after a few texts. Either way I'd find a way to disappear again because as good as we got along we just didn't "click". Nothing wrong with that, just no spark.
As I said this wasn't recently...probably about 2-3 years ago. I've had guys poof in the last few years and given a couple a chance. They proved me wrong and my lesson was learned (or perhaps Karma bit me in the @ss). Either way, if a man leaves now he's not coming back.0 -
You need to quit being so clingy/needy.0
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If he is into you. He will move heaven and Earth to be with you.
If he is not, well you already see what he does....0 -
I don't post over here much anymore, but this has to be said: this guy is not into you. Who knows why he told you he was falling for you and that he missed you and looked at your photos every day and blah blah blah? It doesn't matter what he said. People lie all the time for all kinds of reasons.
What matters is the fact that he's not making an effort to stay in touch with you when he clearly has Internet access since he's still playing around on the dating site. I don't give a flying crap how much it costs to text someone from abroad. It costs nothing to send an email. So let's cut the touchy-feely "maybe he's confused/poor/tired/sad/hungry/banging someone else" BS and boil this down to the fact that if he liked you and intended to have any kind of relationship with you, he would not be behaving as though you don't exist.
Agree 100% - well said!
I also agree with Mud - I am well over second chances. None have faired well for me. My gut knew right the first time.
Also to dbrightwell - agreed on why are you letting this guy occupy you?!0 -
He sounds like he's telling you exactly what you want to hear... but has no actual feelings for you. If he did, he wouldn't disappear and be active on POF while in another country (apparently). Just my penny...
Time to move on and ignore this one.0 -
He's in Europe texting you multiple times a day and logging into POGF multiple times a day?
I'm thinking he isn't really in Europe and he's playing you and a bit of a liar.0 -
Honestly, for whatever reason, this guy isn't wanting to get serious about you. His reasons might not have anything to do with you. He might actually like you, but something is keeping him from progressing in this relationship. I wouldn't invest in him if I were you. Talk to him if you want, but don't look for anything serious with him.0
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I don't post over here much anymore, but this has to be said: this guy is not into you. Who knows why he told you he was falling for you and that he missed you and looked at your photos every day and blah blah blah? It doesn't matter what he said. People lie all the time for all kinds of reasons.
What matters is the fact that he's not making an effort to stay in touch with you when he clearly has Internet access since he's still playing around on the dating site. I don't give a flying crap how much it costs to text someone from abroad. It costs nothing to send an email. So let's cut the touchy-feely "maybe he's confused/poor/tired/sad/hungry/banging someone else" BS and boil this down to the fact that if he liked you and intended to have any kind of relationship with you, he would not be behaving as though you don't exist.
Agree 100% - well said!
I also agree with Mud - I am well over second chances. None have faired well for me. My gut knew right the first time.
Also to dbrightwell - agreed on why are you letting this guy occupy you?!
I really liked him. Like I said previous, there was a strong connection there.0 -
Sounds married to me.
And you sound a little clingy. At this point, regardless of a "connection", nothing is really going on.
Also, if I were into someone, there is no way in hell that I could go a month without speaking to them.0 -
there was a strong connection there.
On your end. Clearly not on his.
Trust me, if a guy wants to be with you, he will be very obvious about it. There is no guessing or wondering or weeks without phone calls (or seeing each other unless it's long-distance). Men don't play silly games. When they want a woman, they make it known.0 -
Also to dbrightwell - agreed on why are you letting this guy occupy you?!
I understand that part. When a guy behaves as though he's interested in you and you really like him, it is very easy to convince yourself that you've got something with potential. You become emotionally invested, and at that point, there's no longer an off switch that can be flipped like there is on a first date when the guy is very detached and you're pretty sure there's not going to be a round 2.
This guy sounds like a *kitten*. For whatever reason, he got her hopes up, with no intention of following through, and not letting it bother you is much easier said than done.
Now, we can talk about how some women misinterpret things and get too emotionally invested too quickly, but that's a different conversation.0 -
I wouldnt call him a *kitten* because SHE got overly attached.0
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The mixed signals and playing with her emotions make him a *kitten*.I wouldnt call him a *kitten* because SHE got overly attached.0 -
The mixed signals and playing with her emotions make him a *kitten*.I wouldnt call him a *kitten* because SHE got overly attached.
You are assuming that it is intentional.0 -
TBH if a guy can't respect me enough to keep it real, I don't even think about allowing him an opportunity to speak with me again.
NEXT IN LINE PLZ? Ty.0 -
The mixed signals and playing with her emotions make him a *kitten*.I wouldnt call him a *kitten* because SHE got overly attached.
You know, I have come to realize that mixed signals aren't always intended to hurt. Sometimes a guy is just confused.
That doesn't mean that this guy is a good prospect for the OP. But that doesn't make the guy a *kitten* either. I'm not entirely certain he is trying to hurt her feelings.0 -
If he hadn't contacted her and then disappeared the second time, I'd agree. And he probably isn't trying to hurt her. I doubt he's even considered that he's affecting her at all. Still a *kitten*. Anyone who's so callous about someone else's feelings is.
The mixed signals and playing with her emotions make him a *kitten*.I wouldnt call him a *kitten* because SHE got overly attached.
You are assuming that it is intentional.
I get that first time realizing it isn't working out and not knowing how to say it. But why the second contact and subsequent disappearance? At that point, he owes her an explanation.0
