Psychological reasons to overeat
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FitSeachely
Posts: 74 Member
Reason to overeat are various and they fall in 2 categories: Knowledge and Trauma. For the longest time, I was overweight because I didn't know any better. I hadn't learn portion control, what is healthy and balanced eating, how to manage stress, listening to my body cues, etc.
Now that I'm just above my healthy weight range, I've plateaued or keep sabotaging myself. Here is what I found deep down inside of me.
1- a stomach overfilled with carb is mind numbing. It's my coping mechanism when faced with stress, anger and sadness. I even justified that overeating was acceptable because it was better than getting drunk or high.
2- being overweight protects me from harm by being undesirable. I was a shy and introverted girl, I am still sometime extremely uncomfortable with attention. Attention that is attached to negative trauma that comes from my teenage years as I developed a big chest very young.
3- frequent sexual harassment kept me from accepting my feminity. I am still learning to accept my feminity and how to seduce
4- feminity and assertiveness are often not seen as compatible. Being non-assertive also means I avoid confrontation at all cost.
5- being insecure, I chose insecure partners. The extra attention from being thin could trigger insecurities within my partner which would lead to confrontations. At least, I never had partners that fattened me to deal with their insecurities. My partners treat me as a trophy, an object of desire that needs their protection.
6- I was not willing to make the life changes that could result in confrontation and break up.
Now I have a choice, I can say this is my psychological baggage and this is it. I cannot reach and maintain a healthy weight because this is how I am.
Or I can do something about it. I'm learning how to better listen to myself and cope with stress in a positive way. I'm learning how to be assertive and say no to unwanted advances. I have yet to find how to make peace with my feminity and my power of seduction. I am working on dealing with confrontation. As for my life partner, he will need to to deal with his own insecurities or get off the train, the decision is up to him.
I am done being a less version of me to please others.
In hope that some of my introspection gave you epiphanies of your own, please share what psychological trauma has you blocked in your progress and what are you doing about it?
Now that I'm just above my healthy weight range, I've plateaued or keep sabotaging myself. Here is what I found deep down inside of me.
1- a stomach overfilled with carb is mind numbing. It's my coping mechanism when faced with stress, anger and sadness. I even justified that overeating was acceptable because it was better than getting drunk or high.
2- being overweight protects me from harm by being undesirable. I was a shy and introverted girl, I am still sometime extremely uncomfortable with attention. Attention that is attached to negative trauma that comes from my teenage years as I developed a big chest very young.
3- frequent sexual harassment kept me from accepting my feminity. I am still learning to accept my feminity and how to seduce
4- feminity and assertiveness are often not seen as compatible. Being non-assertive also means I avoid confrontation at all cost.
5- being insecure, I chose insecure partners. The extra attention from being thin could trigger insecurities within my partner which would lead to confrontations. At least, I never had partners that fattened me to deal with their insecurities. My partners treat me as a trophy, an object of desire that needs their protection.
6- I was not willing to make the life changes that could result in confrontation and break up.
Now I have a choice, I can say this is my psychological baggage and this is it. I cannot reach and maintain a healthy weight because this is how I am.
Or I can do something about it. I'm learning how to better listen to myself and cope with stress in a positive way. I'm learning how to be assertive and say no to unwanted advances. I have yet to find how to make peace with my feminity and my power of seduction. I am working on dealing with confrontation. As for my life partner, he will need to to deal with his own insecurities or get off the train, the decision is up to him.
I am done being a less version of me to please others.
In hope that some of my introspection gave you epiphanies of your own, please share what psychological trauma has you blocked in your progress and what are you doing about it?
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Replies
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Thanks for your post @FitSeachely
I’m finally now starting coming to terms with some of my behavior patterns that have sabotaged me in the past.
While our journey’s have not been the same, I can deeply relate to having insecurities. I was overweight beginning at 9yo or so and was labeled the fat one through middle, high school, and college years. I have NEVER assumed I was any kind of attractive person, and when I WAS feeling confident, made sure to tear myself down enough inside that I didn’t expect too much.
Recently, as an adult, I’ve been through all the excuses: “this is just how I am”, “i’m comfortable at this weight” (when I’m really not), and ended up in binging cycles thinking “I just need this right now”. And honestly I think i was protecting myself from failure- if I am “fine the way I am” I don’t have to deal with not making it to my goal. I can stop trying and not feel like a failure.
Now that I have the time (thanks quarantine) and support of a rediculously loving fiancé, I’m doing some work I’ve put off for...ever.
I’m also looking for the support of others in similar situations- so I’d love to build up some more friends here.
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Thank you for sharing your story @fostersu
Often time admitting that no, I'm not happy the way I am and doing something about is the hardest first step. Great work! Keep on taking the next step and reaching out for support!1 -
Oh my goodness --- yes to all of these reasons. Thanks for sharing this.
Finding mightiness inside to chlenge the fear of harassment, to feel like you can feel difficult, uncomfortable emotions, and believe that you can thrive when you're hurting, and more...those are big asks but we can work toward that so we can heal a bad relationship with food.
I appreciate how open your post is.1
