TRIMSTONES Team Chat - MAY 2020
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5/19 steps - 13,2302
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Steps
5/19 7,9152 -
Arc130
Steps
Saturday 5/16- 10486
Sunday 5/17- 7786
Monday 5/18- 6876
Tuesday 5/19- 110982 -
JessicaKrall8
Wednesday Weigh In
PW: 326.2
CW: 328.0
I don't even want to talk about it...SMH4 -
kcpond
Wednesday weigh in
Week 2
PW: 237.7
CW: 237.64 -
wilsonkellies
Week 3
Wednesday
226.1
224.94 -
Angmarie28
Wednesday
PW-146.6
CW-1435 -
Simbersea
Wednesday
PW: 151.0
CW: 150.63 -
5/20 steps - 140192
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Kmfeig87
Week 3
Wed WI
PW 137
CW 137.53 -
Steps
5/20: 8,1592 -
5/20 13,999 steps
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I promised that I would make a posting about what's been causing all of my stress.
As many of you know, I trained about a year ago and signed up to Foster and Adopt a little girl. Nearly a year passed by since that training and I hadn't had a placement. I assumed that this was due to them waiting to find a child who's parental rights had already been terminated before placing with me because my intent all along was to adopt, not just foster. I took this stance because I'm a VERY emotional person and I knew I would get attached. Without going too deep into history, I've helped to raise two sets of step kids, but was never able to have children of my own. I've always wanted that one little girl.
An emergency placement was made in early March...a little girl 9 yrs old. For privacy reasons, I won't go too much into the story, but she was a sweet child with deep, DEEP trauma. As a trained educator, I've also seen difficult situations...nothing prepared me for this. No dramatic presentations, no heartfelt discussions, no films on children badly treated...nothing. More trauma came out as we went along and at a certain point, I knew she needed more help than I could provide. I made the decision to leave the program...gave notice and they began to search for another placement. Because of the behavioral issues and the deep levels of trauma that had been discovered, they had to seek a placement through state and interstate agencies. She will be in therapy for the rest of my life and I've never felt more like a failure in my 54 years. I have no more tears left to cry, but I knew I couldn't emotionally and physically handle it. At a certain point you have to do what's best for all concerned.
And so, after nearly three months, she's gone. I've been dealing with finding peace again and letting go of a situation that in many ways was out of my control. It hasn't been easy on my side and I can only imagine how she feels. I've never seen this level of neglect and pain. All I can do now is pray for her and I do.
This explains my wallowing, my poor diet choices...the only thing that's been consistent in my life in three months is lots of crying, stress and my walking. I'm doing what I can to find my peace with the whole situation. It's going to take time.
Thanks for listening.
Jessica5 -
Steps
5/20 5,1330 -
angmarie28 wrote: »Angmarie28
Wednesday
PW-146.6
CW-143
Awesome loss!1 -
Arc130
Steps
Wednesday 5/20- 102510 -
jessicakrall8 wrote: »I promised that I would make a posting about what's been causing all of my stress.
As many of you know, I trained about a year ago and signed up to Foster and Adopt a little girl. Nearly a year passed by since that training and I hadn't had a placement. I assumed that this was due to them waiting to find a child who's parental rights had already been terminated before placing with me because my intent all along was to adopt, not just foster. I took this stance because I'm a VERY emotional person and I knew I would get attached. Without going too deep into history, I've helped to raise two sets of step kids, but was never able to have children of my own. I've always wanted that one little girl.
An emergency placement was made in early March...a little girl 9 yrs old. For privacy reasons, I won't go too much into the story, but she was a sweet child with deep, DEEP trauma. As a trained educator, I've also seen difficult situations...nothing prepared me for this. No dramatic presentations, no heartfelt discussions, no films on children badly treated...nothing. More trauma came out as we went along and at a certain point, I knew she needed more help than I could provide. I made the decision to leave the program...gave notice and they began to search for another placement. Because of the behavioral issues and the deep levels of trauma that had been discovered, they had to seek a placement through state and interstate agencies. She will be in therapy for the rest of my life and I've never felt more like a failure in my 54 years. I have no more tears left to cry, but I knew I couldn't emotionally and physically handle it. At a certain point you have to do what's best for all concerned.
And so, after nearly three months, she's gone. I've been dealing with finding peace again and letting go of a situation that in many ways was out of my control. It hasn't been easy on my side and I can only imagine how she feels. I've never seen this level of neglect and pain. All I can do now is pray for her and I do.
This explains my wallowing, my poor diet choices...the only thing that's been consistent in my life in three months is lots of crying, stress and my walking. I'm doing what I can to find my peace with the whole situation. It's going to take time.
Thanks for listening.
Jessica
Jessica, I feel your pain. Keep praying, time will heal all wounds. I hope you'll find peace and regain your joy. We're all here for you.
When I'm feeling down, I always find some inspirational message to listen to and walk. If it is only for 30 mins.
Be strong💪1 -
jessicakrall8 wrote: »I promised that I would make a posting about what's been causing all of my stress.
As many of you know, I trained about a year ago and signed up to Foster and Adopt a little girl. Nearly a year passed by since that training and I hadn't had a placement. I assumed that this was due to them waiting to find a child who's parental rights had already been terminated before placing with me because my intent all along was to adopt, not just foster. I took this stance because I'm a VERY emotional person and I knew I would get attached. Without going too deep into history, I've helped to raise two sets of step kids, but was never able to have children of my own. I've always wanted that one little girl.
An emergency placement was made in early March...a little girl 9 yrs old. For privacy reasons, I won't go too much into the story, but she was a sweet child with deep, DEEP trauma. As a trained educator, I've also seen difficult situations...nothing prepared me for this. No dramatic presentations, no heartfelt discussions, no films on children badly treated...nothing. More trauma came out as we went along and at a certain point, I knew she needed more help than I could provide. I made the decision to leave the program...gave notice and they began to search for another placement. Because of the behavioral issues and the deep levels of trauma that had been discovered, they had to seek a placement through state and interstate agencies. She will be in therapy for the rest of my life and I've never felt more like a failure in my 54 years. I have no more tears left to cry, but I knew I couldn't emotionally and physically handle it. At a certain point you have to do what's best for all concerned.
And so, after nearly three months, she's gone. I've been dealing with finding peace again and letting go of a situation that in many ways was out of my control. It hasn't been easy on my side and I can only imagine how she feels. I've never seen this level of neglect and pain. All I can do now is pray for her and I do.
This explains my wallowing, my poor diet choices...the only thing that's been consistent in my life in three months is lots of crying, stress and my walking. I'm doing what I can to find my peace with the whole situation. It's going to take time.
Thanks for listening.
Jessica
Awe Jessica! My heart breaks for both of you. It will take time. Just concentrate on one day at a time. If you ever need to talk, know that you can reach out at anytime. Take care. My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time. 😊1 -
Steps
5/21: 6,4151
This discussion has been closed.