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Throwing in the towel
conniewilkins56
Posts: 3,391 Member
I am so ready to quit this morning...why bother?...this is an endless battle that I don’t feel like I can fight much longer...eating healthy seems to get harder the longer I go instead of easier...I don’t think I am equipped to handle anything lately...I am spiraling out of control...I hate this feeling of desperation and helplessness...I keep setting myself up for success and then I screw it up...
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Replies
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ah, honey, I know how you feel - I do after being at this for over 3 years now. Right now you are in pain and that's havoc with your feelings, too, just adding to the stress your are under. Bring out the rational Connie to have a long talk with stressing out Connie.
Go back and look at what you've succeeded in doing so far - 65 lbs off is a great victory! Do you still have any of your old clothes from before you started losing weight? Go pull them back on, or lay the old ones on the bed and lay the new ones on top and look at the difference. Look at your before and after pictures - focus on where you are not where you are going for the moment.
At this point, I'd recommend taking a step back, breathing to calm yourself, and then when the emotional roller coaster has come to a stop, reassess what you are trying to accomplish and how you plan to get there.
What are you doing with your diet? Just counting calories themselves like me? Trying to low carb it? Are you working with yourself on compromise so that you aren't cutting too much out all at once and having to strong-arm your way through each day? Are you thinking that you must eat nothing but "healthy" foods?
NovusDies is absolutely right in that we need to make this as painless as possible for ourselves. If we want to win this in the long run, we need to set a pace that we can sustain, be willing to forgive ourselves for stumbles, and more importantly, keep striving forward - the only guaranteed way that you won't get the end goal is if you quit trying.
You over-ate yesterday; that's okay and don't beat yourself up over it. That was yesterday; today is today. Do what you can for today.
You've had a lot of stress on you, and now you are in pain - that's going to throw anyone for a loop. And your body is signalling you that it's overstressed, which is only going to hurt you in the long run. You need to give yourself permission to take a break - not quit, but rest.
Simplify your plan. Don't worry so much about what the food is, what the carbs are, how much sugar is there - focus just on the calorie intake for now; make that the number that you look for. right now with your broken toe, your body needs fuel to heal, so trying for a deficit right now really would be counter-productive. BUT DON'T GIVE UP!
Look at your loss rate for the last 4 weeks compared to your deficit; see if you can figure out your maintenance calories. Then for the next 2 weeks, take a diet break. Focus on eating at maintenance. If you find yourself being more active than usual, eat a few more. Just work on controlling portions. If you want a donut, eat a donut, but log it. Even if you go over maintenance, work on not letting yourself stress out over it. Focus on logging everything - the good, the bad, and the downright ugly.
AND STAY OFF THE SCALE. Right now, those daily scale readings are dragging you down, so take a step away for a while. Just focus on your calorie intake and nothing else - don't just throw it all to the wind and eat how much your want whenever you want; work on getting that control on how much and portion control.
Once your toe heals, I'd suggest slowly easing back into a deficit - don't try for 2 lbs/wk; focus on 0.5 lb or 1 lb a week.
I've got a great big hug for you though; sometimes we just need to scream and rant and cry and whine for a while to purge those dark thoughts. But don't give up now - you've come so far!2 -
You are one of the strongest members here. You lose weight with an anchor tied around you that I cannot even imagine. However, nothing keeps any of us from feeling weak at times.
This is not time for all or nothing. This is time to settle on what you believe you can do for a time and not worry about the 'must dos' any more than absolutely required. You have more choices than keeping your foot firmly on the gas pedal going forward or slamming this whole thing in reverse.
You won't enjoy giving in. It won't be a relief. You will hate it. You may, at some point, go into a denial state but it will take a long time.
Be kind and forgiving to yourself. You deserve it. You are an excellent person.
How can we help?3 -
I don't have much to add except another DON'T GIVE UP!!!
One thing I learned a few years ago is that my emotions lie to me. One high-calorie day used to make me feel like I was failing miserably. But at some point I realized that how I felt didn't accurately reflect the truth. One way to recognize this is that after a rough day, I will feel extra fat and disgusting, but conversely, after one really great day I'll think my belly seems flatter. Neither of those days could possibly make THAT much change to my body, but my emotions tell me a different story.
The way you FEEL right now is lying to you about all of this! It's SOOOOOO worth it.
You got tons of fantastic advice from bmeadows380 and NovusDies. If something is making this too difficult, then by all means figure out some changes to make. But don't you dare quit!!!
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Thank you everyone for caring and taking the time to make comments...I have seriously read them and listened to myself all day...most of the day I have sulked and laid in bed sinking further into a funk...I sure can’t go out and shop which usually makes me feel better...I am going to start from square one in the morning going into my twelfth month of MFP...setting my goal at losing one pound a week and not changing it until I am more in control again...I know this ten pounds will come off fairly quick...trust in the process and stay the course...I will also stay off the scales a few days...here I go again...4
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conniewilkins56 wrote: »Thank you everyone for caring and taking the time to make comments...I have seriously read them and listened to myself all day...most of the day I have sulked and laid in bed sinking further into a funk...I sure can’t go out and shop which usually makes me feel better...I am going to start from square one in the morning going into my twelfth month of MFP...setting my goal at losing one pound a week and not changing it until I am more in control again...I know this ten pounds will come off fairly quick...trust in the process and stay the course...I will also stay off the scales a few days...here I go again...
Yay!! I know it's a cliche but...just take one day at a time and before you know it...bam! that ten lbs will be gone.1 -
I am relieved and my wife will be relieved as well.1
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