Finding an Initial Stopping Place aka The First Goal Weight
NovusDies
Posts: 8,940 Member
Some of this thread will just me just posting my thoughts. I welcome any discussion.
Goal weight. There is an idea that baffles me. I do not know what that number is. Since weight is really a range not a specific number I am not sure what the goal range is either.
But I do not have to know. At least not now. There is no rule that says I can't or won't change my mind after I decide on an initial stopping place. In fact, I think I definitely will resume weight loss after a year or two at maintenance.
So where/when I do decide to stop with the "chainsaw" portion of my weight loss? If I am sure I will not be done how do I decide?
Many say I will know in the mirror. But I don't believe *I* will know. I do think a year or more of maintenance, some modest muscle building, definite more toning will give me a better idea of how I want to look in the mirror. I am willing to bet good money that will mean some additional fat loss but it would be the "scalpel" portion/vanity pounds.
You don't lose as much weight as I have without losing muscle too. No matter what you do to slow it down and prevent it there is still loss. So my body composition will still have a higher fat percentage than what would be "normal" for my weight. The only way to really fix it is to stop losing weight and concentrate on body composition only then when I lose the next time go really slow with many breaks. I would probably even consider 2 weeks on and 2 weeks off.
It will not be until I am under 200 though and probably far enough to give me normal weight fluctuation insurance. I can't do much about the occasional 20 pound water gains but I can avoid seeing the 2 again (most of the time) if I get to 193ish.
That seems arbitrary but with health not being a real factor anymore my "healthy" weight range seems arbitrary too. The next few pounds may remove some of the fat I do not like seeing in the mirror or it may not. Trying to lose that fat without body composition work could mean going too far and risking even more muscle.
I have mentioned this to a few people and they gasp at the idea that I wouldn't finish but they don't fully appreciate that for one thing there is no actual finish and the other I don't believe I can. Hitting pause in the near future seems to be the wiser course of action. Yes it will mean facing more weight loss and at a grueling slow pace but I don't think I care.
Goal weight. There is an idea that baffles me. I do not know what that number is. Since weight is really a range not a specific number I am not sure what the goal range is either.
But I do not have to know. At least not now. There is no rule that says I can't or won't change my mind after I decide on an initial stopping place. In fact, I think I definitely will resume weight loss after a year or two at maintenance.
So where/when I do decide to stop with the "chainsaw" portion of my weight loss? If I am sure I will not be done how do I decide?
Many say I will know in the mirror. But I don't believe *I* will know. I do think a year or more of maintenance, some modest muscle building, definite more toning will give me a better idea of how I want to look in the mirror. I am willing to bet good money that will mean some additional fat loss but it would be the "scalpel" portion/vanity pounds.
You don't lose as much weight as I have without losing muscle too. No matter what you do to slow it down and prevent it there is still loss. So my body composition will still have a higher fat percentage than what would be "normal" for my weight. The only way to really fix it is to stop losing weight and concentrate on body composition only then when I lose the next time go really slow with many breaks. I would probably even consider 2 weeks on and 2 weeks off.
It will not be until I am under 200 though and probably far enough to give me normal weight fluctuation insurance. I can't do much about the occasional 20 pound water gains but I can avoid seeing the 2 again (most of the time) if I get to 193ish.
That seems arbitrary but with health not being a real factor anymore my "healthy" weight range seems arbitrary too. The next few pounds may remove some of the fat I do not like seeing in the mirror or it may not. Trying to lose that fat without body composition work could mean going too far and risking even more muscle.
I have mentioned this to a few people and they gasp at the idea that I wouldn't finish but they don't fully appreciate that for one thing there is no actual finish and the other I don't believe I can. Hitting pause in the near future seems to be the wiser course of action. Yes it will mean facing more weight loss and at a grueling slow pace but I don't think I care.
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I get this. I've thought about goal weight and have a huge milestone weight that I'm aiming for now and another that I'm flirting with, but I've never been successful enough with weight loss to really contemplate actual maintenance eating before; I always seem to get off track somewhere along the way and lose the ground that I had gained. This is actually the closest I've ever been.
The part of me that is the rules follower won't be happy unless I get under that magic BMI of 25 and get into the official "healthy" range. Even though the realistic part of me understands that's not a necessary goal and really, with my mindset and willpower, it is extremely doubtful I could ever get that low anyway. But I know that even if I achieved 180 lbs or even 170 lbs and stopped there, there will be a part of me that will consider it a failure. However, I'll live with that part because I have all my life and know that there is no satisfying that part of me; it will never be happy.
I have started really noticing the strength loss. I'm still fairly strong in my own mind - I can pick up the front of my riding lawn mower and set it on a cinder block when I need to get under the deck, but things that were fairly easy before I have noticed are a little harder and take more effort. course that could just be age, too...... I don't even know where to start with weight lifting and don't have the time or the money to afford a gym membership for free weights training. I can do a little here at home, but I also am very much concerned about trying to do it myself and potentially injuring myself because of using the wrong form.
I am aware that there is a fundamental difference between a person who has gone from obese to healthy size and someone who was never obese at the same weight; there will be body composition differences which will last even after the few years of normalization that the body's hormones go through. I accept that I will likely have to remain acutely aware of my weight and monitor it closely and count calories for the rest of my life; I know I have poor concept of portion sizes and if I don't keep a close eye on it, I'll be undoing all my work.
Further still, with my will power issues, I can't see myself ever really hitting an ultimate goal weight; its more of hoping I can get to a certain range and knowing that eventually, I'm going to hit the point where the minimum calories I can sustainably eat per day is going to come close to my daily needs number, at which point I'll just be maintaining and not losing. I don't know where to judge that point to be, however, and suppose I'll find it when I get there and just sincerely hope that it doesn't hit before at least 190 lbs.
I also know that using the mirror as a guide and going by my appearance won't work for me due to my poor self image. I'm not a vain person at all and consider myself to be a plain Jane - I'm not a beauty and don't really consider myself to be pretty, either. I don't think I'm horribly ugly, but not really attractive, either. And with the starting weight I was at, I'm fully aware that there is going to be scars and baggage left over; I have horribly flabby arms and nothing short of surgery is going to fix that. I will have the hanging skin on the front, sides, and bottom; it can't be helped. No cream, no amount of exercise is going to make that extra skin go away. I don't know if I'd be able to afford the surgery to remove it, and even if I did, there will be surgery scars in their place, though I would consider surgery scars worth being able to find clothes that actually fit, especially since even now, I'm starting to run into the problem where the smaller sizes I need for my waist size are uncomfortable because the sleeves and legs are too tight due to all the extra skin on my biceps and thighs. Even now I have a hard time seeing the weight loss I have achieved because of the skin issues.
The one biggest challenge for me I know will be dealing with the judgmental part of my brain. My doctor will be happy no matter where I end up stopping; she knows where I started. I really do want to at least get into the overweight BMI category and out of the obese category. Beyond that I just don't know. It would be nice to finally be "healthy" but is it achievable? Probably not. But even if the rational part of me can acknowledge it probably isn't achievable, will I be able to convince the judgmental side of me to accept a weight higher than 160 lbs? Probably doubtful, and if i can't convince my judgmental side to accept that, then will I be able to truly say I'm done losing weight? Meaning will there really ever be a point where I can say I've reached my ultimate goal, or will I find myself continually striving for that last 10 or 20 lbs? I know that's probably not a healthy mental state to be in, but I also know myself and my own weaknesses in that regard. What will likely happen with me is that the battlefront will need to shift from fighting to lose weight to fighting to accept whatever weight I end up at and allowing myself to feel a sense of accomplishment and achievement; it will be a fight for me to consider myself to be a winner and successful.
But that's nothing new for me, either *shrugs*3 -
My experience. And when I start telling my story I frequently leave out an important part. I do that because I’m afraid it would leave some people discouraged. Or maybe worse, they could end up doing the same thing.
Start at 285 lbs I lost to about 220ish just cutting out alcohol, watching my intake (whatever that means) and some modest exercise. I had an initial goal of 204 lbs for a embarrassingly dumb reason.
At about 215-220 I became stuck. I joined a gym. Trained with weights. Built my upper body to where I got a bit of attention. My wife seemed to like it. But I stayed stuck for about 10 years.
One reason I stayed stuck was because life was good at 215 lbs. I ran the kids into the ground in Orlando. Harry the tailor had me looking good. But I had that nagging voice. Always had it in mind that at some point I would get to 204 somehow. It was just 12-15 lbs depending on the day. But it remained out of reach. I even had a trainer who came to the house. Changed my workouts dramatically. I couldn’t get off the floor at the end. I got down to 212 lbs.
Then my neighbor, a few years older but very active sat down on the couch one day and died. Gone.
All the work I had done. That nagging voice. What if that was me? What if my last thought was “See dummy, you should have closed the deal”? I joined WW. Healthy BMI for me would have been 180 lbs. Because I was over 55 they added 4 lbs, making my highest acceptable weight for WW Lifetime status 184 lbs. But you could also get a note from your Dr recommending a higher weight and they would be ok with that.
But I wasn’t so much concerned with WW goals at first. I needed to be convinced it would work for me at all. I started out trying to get to 204.
I got a food scale and dove in. Before long I my head was filled with numbers for WW points. I started to think of WW as my hobby. And it worked. I blew through 204 to under 200 lbs. Ok I thought, I’ll try for 190. Made it and kept going. I was attending weekly WW meetings. The women there hated me. 184, 180, 175. I had weighed 175 when I graduated high school about 38 years earlier.
That was in 2006. For about 10 years I bounced around 175-186. A couple of years ago I set out to get under 175 and have been maintaining 170-175 for a couple of years. I watch my weight closely but my real goals now are about fitness.
I’m telling you this for a couple of reasons. One is that I think any goal has to be wait and see. The goal is just the by product of how we are living. Plan some changes, see if the plan is livable, see what the outcome is. I think it’s the only path to lasting change. Second, don’t be surprised if you end up surprised. I sure was. Really surprised. Good luck.7 -
I really don’t have a FINAL goal...I would love to be in the ONES but I am taking it one day at a time...we will see where I am at by the end of this year!3
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@bmeadows380
I am unconcerned with being "healthy". I have no idea how to even define that for myself. "Healthier" is a definition I can define. I am healthier than I was. As far as can be surmised losing more weight will not help with overall health outside of helping me keep my original knees a little longer. That might change as I get older.
I am also, for now, unconcerned with being "thin". Same deal. I am thinner than I was. I can wear clothes off the rack. I can move more easily. I can sit in a booth. I can board a plane without converting people to religion as they pray that I do not try to sit next to them.
I have never had a goal weight but I have had a goal of being healthier and thinner. I accomplished these goals each day I was in a deficit. I never had an idea of where it would lead and I am still not sure. I have been putting the process first and allowing the other goals appear on the horizon. It is kind of like walking. When it looked like I could walk half a mile that became a goal. After I could do a half mile easily then I decided to go for a mile. Then more.
For me success and accomplishment are always about today and never about the larger scope. I want to leave those out of my reach. I want tomorrow to be the next hill to climb whether it is losing or maintaining. If I maintain for 20 years I want to ask the question "Can I maintain for 20 years and 1 day?" I don't want to be completely satisfied with how far I have come... ever.
I may not be a winner but when I can do a lot of things that I could not do before I definitely feel like I am winning.
Aesthetically I think I look decent in clothes so I guess that checks a box that was not originally even on my list. Undressed is going to require more work and a lot of the heavy lifting (pun intended) will come with improving composition. After that weight loss will be a factor again to tune the results.
One of the reasons this is coming up now is because of clothing. I will have to replace most of my wardrobe once more in this latest round of loss but after that I want to stop for awhile. I am tired of evaluating all my clothing purchases on how long I will be in them. Even sticking mostly too clearance and second-hand clothing it is expensive and it overshadows all my decisions. If I see a shirt I like and it is above what my average has been on similar it doesn't matter how much I like it because the answer has to be no. The only exception I made to that rule was buying a souvenir shirt last year because for so very long I would never even bother to look at them because it was impossible they had my size... so NSV value. Funny thing about that story is that I am picky so for a little while it looked like it would not happen but everyone I was with got invested in me buying one so they all started scavenging for possibilities.
The main thing is I have a checkup coming up with my plastic surgeon so I need to get him to weigh in on this decision.3 -
I don't really have an ultimate goal weight in mind, because like bmeadows, this is the farthest I've ever come. I figure I'll start to think about it when and if I get under 200. For now, my goal is simply to keep going, keep tracking, keep attempting to improve on my eating behaviors, and keep losing, however slowly.1
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For years I've had 150 in my mind but recently I've been loking at the BMI scales and that would still be overweight for me so now I'm still thinking 150 and when I get there adjust as necessary.
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My long term goal is 185. I was at that weight in my mid-thirties, and with a large body frame and lots of weight lifting I carried that weight well. Frankly, just getting down to 230 would give me a huge "new" wardrobe of clothes I've been hanging on to forever for when I finally lost the weight.1
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In the very back of my mind I have had 250 ish lbs as my first big goal weight which would be a loss of 100 lbs...at my present 260 lbs and a 90 lb loss, that goal is approaching.....I have no idea what my final goal will be...I will worry about that later on.....right now I am swimming 6 days a week and really excited seeing how much stronger I am and how much more endurance I have in the water...still not so much on dry land but it is getting better....I haven’t had a binge for a while and I am feeling more confident but the fear of a binge is always with me...I don’t know if or when or how to take a break...I don’t want to gain any weight back by doing anything crazy...I know I am going to have surgery on my foot in early October and I will be stuck in bed a while until I can walk on it...should I wait until then or take a mini one week break now?...I am not overly hungry presently and not craving anything...in fact everything for me is good right now...so what should I do?...
Presently I am set for 2 lbs a week and I get 1220 calories a day....I am burning 1000 calories by MFP standards which I don’t think are accurate and eating back 250 exercise calories so I am eating 1470 to 1500 calories a day...I thought the pounds would be falling off but they aren’t....1 -
conniewilkins56 wrote: »In the very back of my mind I have had 250 ish lbs as my first big goal weight which would be a loss of 100 lbs...at my present 260 lbs and a 90 lb loss, that goal is approaching.....I have no idea what my final goal will be...I will worry about that later on.....right now I am swimming 6 days a week and really excited seeing how much stronger I am and how much more endurance I have in the water...still not so much on dry land but it is getting better....I haven’t had a binge for a while and I am feeling more confident but the fear of a binge is always with me...I don’t know if or when or how to take a break...I don’t want to gain any weight back by doing anything crazy...I know I am going to have surgery on my foot in early October and I will be stuck in bed a while until I can walk on it...should I wait until then or take a mini one week break now?...I am not overly hungry presently and not craving anything...in fact everything for me is good right now...so what should I do?...
Presently I am set for 2 lbs a week and I get 1220 calories a day....I am burning 1000 calories by MFP standards which I don’t think are accurate and eating back 250 exercise calories so I am eating 1470 to 1500 calories a day...I thought the pounds would be falling off but they aren’t....
The fat pounds may be falling off. The fact that the scale is not showing it yet is not a good indication one way or the other.1 -
conniewilkins56 wrote: »In the very back of my mind I have had 250 ish lbs as my first big goal weight which would be a loss of 100 lbs...at my present 260 lbs and a 90 lb loss, that goal is approaching.....I have no idea what my final goal will be...I will worry about that later on.....right now I am swimming 6 days a week and really excited seeing how much stronger I am and how much more endurance I have in the water...still not so much on dry land but it is getting better....I haven’t had a binge for a while and I am feeling more confident but the fear of a binge is always with me...I don’t know if or when or how to take a break...I don’t want to gain any weight back by doing anything crazy...I know I am going to have surgery on my foot in early October and I will be stuck in bed a while until I can walk on it...should I wait until then or take a mini one week break now?...I am not overly hungry presently and not craving anything...in fact everything for me is good right now...so what should I do?...
Presently I am set for 2 lbs a week and I get 1220 calories a day....I am burning 1000 calories by MFP standards which I don’t think are accurate and eating back 250 exercise calories so I am eating 1470 to 1500 calories a day...I thought the pounds would be falling off but they aren’t....
The fat pounds may be falling off. The fact that the scale is not showing it yet is not a good indication one way or the other.
Do you think it’s time I start planning a break or wait until Fall?0 -
conniewilkins56 wrote: »conniewilkins56 wrote: »In the very back of my mind I have had 250 ish lbs as my first big goal weight which would be a loss of 100 lbs...at my present 260 lbs and a 90 lb loss, that goal is approaching.....I have no idea what my final goal will be...I will worry about that later on.....right now I am swimming 6 days a week and really excited seeing how much stronger I am and how much more endurance I have in the water...still not so much on dry land but it is getting better....I haven’t had a binge for a while and I am feeling more confident but the fear of a binge is always with me...I don’t know if or when or how to take a break...I don’t want to gain any weight back by doing anything crazy...I know I am going to have surgery on my foot in early October and I will be stuck in bed a while until I can walk on it...should I wait until then or take a mini one week break now?...I am not overly hungry presently and not craving anything...in fact everything for me is good right now...so what should I do?...
Presently I am set for 2 lbs a week and I get 1220 calories a day....I am burning 1000 calories by MFP standards which I don’t think are accurate and eating back 250 exercise calories so I am eating 1470 to 1500 calories a day...I thought the pounds would be falling off but they aren’t....
The fat pounds may be falling off. The fact that the scale is not showing it yet is not a good indication one way or the other.
Do you think it’s time I start planning a break or wait until Fall?
@conniewilkins56
I can only guide you enough to say that I believe you are close to ready because you keep bringing it up. I remember a time that the notion of it was beyond what you thought you could handle. With that said, being ready or ready-ish doesn't mean that it will be uneventful.
At some point you will need to pull the trigger or maintenance will sneak up on you. Remember that the whole idea is to learn how to manage ourselves and that involves some risk and even some negative outcomes.
Why don't you try it over an upcoming weekend first? It might be a good idea to pre-log most of what you intend to eat. I say most because it might help to leave a little room for flexibility. Don't do it if you think that will engage your perfection/imperfection trigger if you change your mind on a meal.
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I agree it is time to “ pull the trigger”... this will work for me or not...and yes, a while back I never imagined in a million years I would be thinking of a break...I have gotten so much stronger mentally and emotionally the past year and of course physically!...I am on my third day of close to maintenance...no binges but finding it really hard to eat so many calories...thank goodness BMeadows has also helped me sort through these numbers...You are both very patient!1
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NovusDies
Could you explain for the newbe's here what you mean when you say that it is good to take a break or that "at some point you will need t pull the trigger or maintenance will sneak up on you" Thanks, Luann1 -
deafenbaugh wrote: »NovusDies
Could you explain for the newbe's here what you mean when you say that it is good to take a break or that "at some point you will need t pull the trigger or maintenance will sneak up on you" Thanks, Luann
@deafenbaugh
Certainly. @conniewilkins56 has been concerned for some time that eating more food at maintenance might trigger a binge. However the end of weight loss is maintenance and so at some point she should run some experimental periods at maintenance so she can work out how to manage herself during.
Beyond that I am a believer in the importance of diet/deficit breaks. I have taken one about every 6 months and more often now that I am nearing some form of a stopping place.
The LL discussion of why to take breaks is here:
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10761818/deficit-breaks/p1
The main MFP discussion with more technical information is here:
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10604863/of-refeeds-and-diet-breaks/p10 -
@deafenbaugh
And on the main MFP discussion page, don't be put off by the number of pages of posts - the first entry has what you need so you don't need to sort it all out
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deafenbaugh wrote: »NovusDies
Could you explain for the newbe's here what you mean when you say that it is good to take a break or that "at some point you will need t pull the trigger or maintenance will sneak up on you" Thanks, Luann
@deafenbaugh
Certainly. @conniewilkins56 has been concerned for some time that eating more food at maintenance might trigger a binge. However the end of weight loss is maintenance and so at some point she should run some experimental periods at maintenance so she can work out how to manage herself during.
Beyond that I am a believer in the importance of diet/deficit breaks. I have taken one about every 6 months and more often now that I am nearing some form of a stopping place.
The LL discussion of why to take breaks is here:
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10761818/deficit-breaks/p1
The main MFP discussion with more technical information is here:
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10604863/of-refeeds-and-diet-breaks/p1
I read these again and found them really helpful...I also saw my comment about never taking a break and had to laugh...I never in a million years thought I would still be here and still losing weight and still be motivated and excited!....what a wonderful group of people we have in this group!...
I am on Day 4 of my “ break “ and settling in better...the first few days I was surprised how difficult it was to consume so many more calories!...I am still swimming 1 1/2 hours each day and can feel myself getting so much stronger...I went to the grocery store this morning and found a couple of individual desserts I had been thinking about, specifically Key Lime Pie and Cherry Cheesecake....
I was down a pound from yesterday but I think it’s because I ate salty foods over the weekend....
So far so good with no crazy binge...I have been so satisfied I haven’t thought much about binging ....I don’t want to be over confident because I still have ten more days but so far so good and I am glad I decided to do this and I will be glad to get my journey back on track again when my break is finished!4 -
conniewilkins56 wrote: »deafenbaugh wrote: »NovusDies
Could you explain for the newbe's here what you mean when you say that it is good to take a break or that "at some point you will need t pull the trigger or maintenance will sneak up on you" Thanks, Luann
@deafenbaugh
Certainly. @conniewilkins56 has been concerned for some time that eating more food at maintenance might trigger a binge. However the end of weight loss is maintenance and so at some point she should run some experimental periods at maintenance so she can work out how to manage herself during.
Beyond that I am a believer in the importance of diet/deficit breaks. I have taken one about every 6 months and more often now that I am nearing some form of a stopping place.
The LL discussion of why to take breaks is here:
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10761818/deficit-breaks/p1
The main MFP discussion with more technical information is here:
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10604863/of-refeeds-and-diet-breaks/p1
I read these again and found them really helpful...I also saw my comment about never taking a break and had to laugh...I never in a million years thought I would still be here and still losing weight and still be motivated and excited!....what a wonderful group of people we have in this group!...
I am on Day 4 of my “ break “ and settling in better...the first few days I was surprised how difficult it was to consume so many more calories!...I am still swimming 1 1/2 hours each day and can feel myself getting so much stronger...I went to the grocery store this morning and found a couple of individual desserts I had been thinking about, specifically Key Lime Pie and Cherry Cheesecake....
I was down a pound from yesterday but I think it’s because I ate salty foods over the weekend....
So far so good with no crazy binge...I have been so satisfied I haven’t thought much about binging ....I don’t want to be over confident because I still have ten more days but so far so good and I am glad I decided to do this and I will be glad to get my journey back on track again when my break is finished!
@conniewilkins56
Great going! Little steps still get you there; in fact if you're like me, you focus so much on your footing that when you finally look up, you're amazed at where you are
Wait until you get to the point where you can't wait to get back to a deficit *laughs*2 -
conniewilkins56 wrote: »deafenbaugh wrote: »NovusDies
Could you explain for the newbe's here what you mean when you say that it is good to take a break or that "at some point you will need t pull the trigger or maintenance will sneak up on you" Thanks, Luann
@deafenbaugh
Certainly. @conniewilkins56 has been concerned for some time that eating more food at maintenance might trigger a binge. However the end of weight loss is maintenance and so at some point she should run some experimental periods at maintenance so she can work out how to manage herself during.
Beyond that I am a believer in the importance of diet/deficit breaks. I have taken one about every 6 months and more often now that I am nearing some form of a stopping place.
The LL discussion of why to take breaks is here:
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10761818/deficit-breaks/p1
The main MFP discussion with more technical information is here:
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10604863/of-refeeds-and-diet-breaks/p1
I read these again and found them really helpful...I also saw my comment about never taking a break and had to laugh...I never in a million years thought I would still be here and still losing weight and still be motivated and excited!....what a wonderful group of people we have in this group!...
I am on Day 4 of my “ break “ and settling in better...the first few days I was surprised how difficult it was to consume so many more calories!...I am still swimming 1 1/2 hours each day and can feel myself getting so much stronger...I went to the grocery store this morning and found a couple of individual desserts I had been thinking about, specifically Key Lime Pie and Cherry Cheesecake....
I was down a pound from yesterday but I think it’s because I ate salty foods over the weekend....
So far so good with no crazy binge...I have been so satisfied I haven’t thought much about binging ....I don’t want to be over confident because I still have ten more days but so far so good and I am glad I decided to do this and I will be glad to get my journey back on track again when my break is finished!
A lot of people lose a little weight early in the break period. The common theory is that the extra food relaxes you a little and the release of stress releases water weight. It might be the salty weekend food too...
You have definitely grown in stability and confidence while you have been shrinking in size. That suggests you aren't just changing numbers on the scale but fundamentally improving overall. I would like to think I am a bigger person now that I am a smaller person too.
You are a great asset to this group.1 -
bmeadows380 wrote: »conniewilkins56 wrote: »deafenbaugh wrote: »NovusDies
Could you explain for the newbe's here what you mean when you say that it is good to take a break or that "at some point you will need t pull the trigger or maintenance will sneak up on you" Thanks, Luann
@deafenbaugh
Certainly. @conniewilkins56 has been concerned for some time that eating more food at maintenance might trigger a binge. However the end of weight loss is maintenance and so at some point she should run some experimental periods at maintenance so she can work out how to manage herself during.
Beyond that I am a believer in the importance of diet/deficit breaks. I have taken one about every 6 months and more often now that I am nearing some form of a stopping place.
The LL discussion of why to take breaks is here:
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10761818/deficit-breaks/p1
The main MFP discussion with more technical information is here:
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10604863/of-refeeds-and-diet-breaks/p1
I read these again and found them really helpful...I also saw my comment about never taking a break and had to laugh...I never in a million years thought I would still be here and still losing weight and still be motivated and excited!....what a wonderful group of people we have in this group!...
I am on Day 4 of my “ break “ and settling in better...the first few days I was surprised how difficult it was to consume so many more calories!...I am still swimming 1 1/2 hours each day and can feel myself getting so much stronger...I went to the grocery store this morning and found a couple of individual desserts I had been thinking about, specifically Key Lime Pie and Cherry Cheesecake....
I was down a pound from yesterday but I think it’s because I ate salty foods over the weekend....
So far so good with no crazy binge...I have been so satisfied I haven’t thought much about binging ....I don’t want to be over confident because I still have ten more days but so far so good and I am glad I decided to do this and I will be glad to get my journey back on track again when my break is finished!
@conniewilkins56
Great going! Little steps still get you there; in fact if you're like me, you focus so much on your footing that when you finally look up, you're amazed at where you are
Wait until you get to the point where you can't wait to get back to a deficit *laughs*
Definitely this. My first break it was about the 5th day. My second break I was ready in 3. That makes sense because I had not gotten my balance quite right yet after 6 months of loss. I was doing the weekly maintenance day but the days before it were a little more stark than they needed to be. It wasn't harsh but it could have been softer.2 -
I am on Day 6 of my break and I am feeling pretty bad...I am up 11 pounds and I feel lethargic,bloated and yukky...I know the gain is most likely water weight but I feel like I am undoing all of my hard work...I have been eating junk and I need to concentrate on some wholesome food today...it is scary how quickly years of bad habits return...no binges though so that is a good thing...I am still glad I am taking this break and I am glad I waited to take it until I felt mentally strong enough to semi control it!...not sure how I will feel in another week if I keep gaining!...but I am doing this and learning a lot...especially that the extra food isn’t as much fun as I had thought it would be!3
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conniewilkins56 wrote: »I am on Day 6 of my break and I am feeling pretty bad...I am up 11 pounds and I feel lethargic,bloated and yukky...I know the gain is most likely water weight but I feel like I am undoing all of my hard work...I have been eating junk and I need to concentrate on some wholesome food today...it is scary how quickly years of bad habits return...no binges though so that is a good thing...I am still glad I am taking this break and I am glad I waited to take it until I felt mentally strong enough to semi control it!...not sure how I will feel in another week if I keep gaining!...but I am doing this and learning a lot...especially that the extra food isn’t as much fun as I had thought it would be!
The bloating and yuck really help hammer home the lesson, don't they? I wish I could say the lesson remained with me and I didn't make the same mistakes a second, third... you get the picture, but I did re-learn the lesson in less days after the first time.
The only way to get accustomed to immoderate eating is to just keep doing so much of it that our bodies are forced to adapt again. I hope that never happens again.
I think that is probably why at the end of the weight loss process it is good to take a break every 6 weeks. It gives us more chances to get out of the habit of treating maintenance like a holiday eating spree.1 -
Day 6 update....well, what I was afraid would happen has begun....I am like a human vacuum this afternoon...after swimming for almost 2 hours this morning, I came home starving!...I don’t think I am in binge mode because I am very aware and in touch with the way I am feeling....usually I go into denial and eat on auto pilot...I did have a minor argument with my daughter after lunch and my response or my excuse was to grab a cookie but I was still ok....then the dog knocked the cookies off the counter and they went flying out of the box....I was picking them up and I just started munching on the ones that didn’t break...feeling completely out of control I fixed a sub and ate it....I also drank THREE diet sodas....now I feel sick and I might just call it a night and go to bed...I didn’t sleep much last night any way....tomorrow it’s maintenance calories only and no extra calories...If I don’t get this under control in the next couple of days I am going to cut this break short...I hate to not finish this but I am questioning whether I can get it under control...I know this is a learning process and God knows I still have so much to learn...I am so sorry I am not handling this the way I wanted to...trying not to feel guilty or ashamed....sigh....I hate to let myself or others down...I wanted to make this a good example of what a diet break should be...4
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conniewilkins56 wrote: »Day 6 update....well, what I was afraid would happen has begun....I am like a human vacuum this afternoon...after swimming for almost 2 hours this morning, I came home starving!...I don’t think I am in binge mode because I am very aware and in touch with the way I am feeling....usually I go into denial and eat on auto pilot...I did have a minor argument with my daughter after lunch and my response or my excuse was to grab a cookie but I was still ok....then the dog knocked the cookies off the counter and they went flying out of the box....I was picking them up and I just started munching on the ones that didn’t break...feeling completely out of control I fixed a sub and ate it....I also drank THREE diet sodas....now I feel sick and I might just call it a night and go to bed...I didn’t sleep much last night any way....tomorrow it’s maintenance calories only and no extra calories...If I don’t get this under control in the next couple of days I am going to cut this break short...I hate to not finish this but I am questioning whether I can get it under control...I know this is a learning process and God knows I still have so much to learn...I am so sorry I am not handling this the way I wanted to...trying not to feel guilty or ashamed....sigh....I hate to let myself or others down...I wanted to make this a good example of what a diet break should be...
@conniewilkins56 - While I haven't struggled with bingeing (at least in a BED context), I did just finish a somewhat difficult diet break. I also found that I was overeating my maintenance calories every day. My first diet break was last year over the holidays and found it easy enough back then. I assumed it would the same this time - just eat a bit more, sounds great! It was much harder than I anticipated. Part way through, I started panicking that if I couldn't eat at maintenance during my break, I'd never be able to maintain long term. I could already see my old mindless snacking habits coming back, even after a year of weight loss. I really had to shift my perspective to consider it a learning experience, rather than a pass/fail exercise. (I have some issues with perfectionism lol).
I don't think you need to worry about making this a "good example" of a diet break...it's your first one! Also, I think they look different for everyone and every diet break is different too. My first one was easy, this one was hard. Even attempting a diet break is a success. Making it 6 days is a success. Learning something from it is a success. Making a conscious decision to stop (or continue) your break is also a success!
You know yourself better than anyone - if finishing the diet break is what is best for you, then do that! If a break from the break is what's best, then do that! No shame in either decision, you are doing what is right for you. (I know those feelings so very well though).
Whatever you decide, you've got this.
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I'm still not getting it. I read the materials on MFP and so they suggest that by taking a diet break that it may prevent your body from changing your BMR? Is that right? And, how do you know what your maintenance calories are. I know MFP has given me a number to lose 2 lbs per week but how do you figure your calories for maintenance? Not that I am even close to taking one-just got started.
Luann1 -
conniewilkins56 wrote: »Day 6 update....well, what I was afraid would happen has begun....I am like a human vacuum this afternoon...after swimming for almost 2 hours this morning, I came home starving!...I don’t think I am in binge mode because I am very aware and in touch with the way I am feeling....usually I go into denial and eat on auto pilot...I did have a minor argument with my daughter after lunch and my response or my excuse was to grab a cookie but I was still ok....then the dog knocked the cookies off the counter and they went flying out of the box....I was picking them up and I just started munching on the ones that didn’t break...feeling completely out of control I fixed a sub and ate it....I also drank THREE diet sodas....now I feel sick and I might just call it a night and go to bed...I didn’t sleep much last night any way....tomorrow it’s maintenance calories only and no extra calories...If I don’t get this under control in the next couple of days I am going to cut this break short...I hate to not finish this but I am questioning whether I can get it under control...I know this is a learning process and God knows I still have so much to learn...I am so sorry I am not handling this the way I wanted to...trying not to feel guilty or ashamed....sigh....I hate to let myself or others down...I wanted to make this a good example of what a diet break should be...
Anyone can go through the diet break thread in the main section and see countless examples of textbook breaks. They won't learn much there if they need to know how to handle what you are going through. You have had a moment of weakness and you have put together a good follow-up plan on what to do next.
What makes others feel powerless is seeing people who claim never to have problems and wondering why they have so many.
What makes others feel empowered is reading the problems of others and how they worked through it. It may not be ideal but it is only going to ruin a few hours or maybe a day for you not your entire weight loss effort. You will bounce back from this and move on towards a healthier weight.
You have also learned some important things during this process. It is not maintenance that set you off or it would have happened day 1 or at least by day 2. This might have just as easily happened if you had been in a deficit the last 6 days.
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deafenbaugh wrote: »I'm still not getting it. I read the materials on MFP and so they suggest that by taking a diet break that it may prevent your body from changing your BMR? Is that right? And, how do you know what your maintenance calories are. I know MFP has given me a number to lose 2 lbs per week but how do you figure your calories for maintenance? Not that I am even close to taking one-just got started.
Luann
At any time you can set MFP to maintain your weight by going through the guided set-up and it will give you the estimated maintenance.
Since you are currently trying to lose 2 pounds per week your daily deficit is 1000 calories so maintenance for you will be the calorie goal you see plus 1000. It is important to know this anyway because some days you may naturally go over your calories a little you will still lose some weight as long as you don't go over by more than 1000.1 -
@conniewilkins56
Did your blood sugar crash after swimming? I’ve had episodes where I’ve gone flying out of the gym to the closest and fastest fast food. Bk? No too many cars. McD? No I hate McD. But it’s empty. Get a 1/4 lber and scarf it down. Out of my mind.
It’s not just that we get calories for exercise, the calories have to be deployed to support workouts. Not that every time we go for a walk we need added fuel, but 2 hrs swimming is substantial. Maybe look at that and experiment.3 -
@conniewilkins56
Did your blood sugar crash after swimming? I’ve had episodes where I’ve gone flying out of the gym to the closest and fastest fast food. Bk? No too many cars. McD? No I hate McD. But it’s empty. Get a 1/4 lber and scarf it down. Out of my mind.
It’s not just that we get calories for exercise, the calories have to be deployed to support workouts. Not that every time we go for a walk we need added fuel, but 2 hrs swimming is substantial. Maybe look at that and experiment.
Good catch.
When I have not properly accounted for my activity I have sometimes entered into what I call "dazed" eating. It is not auto-pilot but it almost feels like I observing my actions instead of being completely in control.1 -
I think I experienced that^^ this weekend. I pushed mowed knee high weeds and grass for 3 hours on Saturday, not counting where I mowed my regular grass as well. Then I went on an 8 hour walk on Sunday morning. On both days I found myself eating over my deficit+exercise calories because I just was still hungry. I had suspected then that it was because of the extra activity, especially in this heat, that was driving my body to want more food, and knowing the stress that kind of activity was on the body, I didn't get too upset with myself on the extra food.0
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I usually drink 0 Gatorade while I swim and I have a banana before and 1/2 protein bar and water afterwards...I am certainly not an Olympic swimmer but I do continuous movement swimming,treading and aerobics for 90 minutes plus....
Day 10 update....the past few days have been a nightmare.....after initially not being able to eat as much, I slid that slippery slope right back into old habits....you would think after 14 months I would learn but evidently, I don’t learn very well!...I am up 15 lbs....15 POUNDS......no, I don’t feel like a failure but I do feel bloated,stuffed,uncomfortable and sleepy....naps I had entirely quit taking are back on my schedule...the only thing working better are my bathroom habits...probably from excess food intake....yep, all food turns to poop!
I have learned a few things....one thing is having the right mindset and a plan in place for the food you are going to eat during your break.....I do have a plan for the next couple of days and back to regular plan on Saturday morning... I am going to try maintenance again in a few months and try to have better controI and a different plan of attack...also made the decision to get some psychological help when I get closer to my goal to help avoid binging...I know I am going to have to struggle with maintenance the rest of my life...Hopefully I can lose weight at a renewed pace after this 15 pounds is gone...
My advice to anyone contemplating a break is to weigh all of the pros and cons carefully and only do it when you are feeling ready for it...be prepared to gain a few pounds...and don’t let the break become your normal way of eating again...I started out strong but then my gluttony side decided to take over!...you can teach an old dog new tricks but it takes a little longer to master the tricks!
Next year on my 70 th birthday I WILL be at my goal...and I will be healthier and stronger!3
This discussion has been closed.