Food pushers

linmueller

@steve0mania mentioned food pushers in the LTL thread. I didn't want to hijack that thread, but it reminded me of something that happened last weekend.

The lake association where we have our cottage had a social event. Our family didn't participate (for lots of reasons I won't go into) but we were anchored where they ended up setting up their potluck. One of the men went around sharing his "covid corn" (caramel corn). He INSISTED everyone take one kernel. He wasn't taking no for an answer so didn't even try and I just took one. When I didn't put it in my mouth, he said he wasn't leaving until i ate it! I just smiled and he eventually went away.

The "old me" (early WW days) would have refused to take it, or maybe taken it, but when pushed, I might have petulently tossed it in the lake. The mature me (where's the 'pat myself on the back' emoji?) just smiled and let him push until he got bored with it

Do you have food pushers in your life?
How do you deal with them?

And just to clarify, a common bowl everyone sticks their hand in has always grossed me out a little (tongs and spoons are your friends), and since covid, even more so. AND maybe even more importantly, I'm not craving sugar, but I'm pretty sure that eating a little will lead to wanting a lot more!

MASSRUNNER_FRANK

You done good with food pusher by the lake. I am not so sure that I would have.
And the common bowl? You better live with me before I would even think of that even prior to Covid.

I don’t believe that I have ever encountered food pushers per se. I grew up in a household and extended family where food was love. Of course it was offered nonstop, but I cannot say it was pushed. I also never had to undergo the not getting up from the dinner table unless you finish that food business.

I work from home for the last five months so don’t have to deal with the nearly weekly excuse at work to have cake and ice cream for every affair under the sun. So that’s no issue either these days. But back when it was, I would just say I had just eaten or was trying to cut back and let the chips falls where they may. No pun intended.
I am pretty sure I would use the same tactic now.

88olds

Lol. A community bowl? No way am I eating out of a community bowl.

Not since the day I went into the office and logged onto GOAD when confronted with the office donuts.

HELP! DONUTS!

Came the first reply-

Somebody sneezed on the donuts.

It went downhill from there with later responses trying to out gross earlier.
But the basic idea caused me to stop and watch my coworkers’ (this is a law office btw) behavior around that donut box. I was transformed into a germaphobe as I stood there. This was almost 14 years before we heard of COVID-19.

linmueller

I know! I'm always putting spoons and other serving utensils in food bowls, even with family. There's just something gross about lots of hands touching my food 🤮. And even more so with all the littles, I know where their hands have been LOL

steve0mania

@linmueller I get your point about being gentle and kind (and still firm in your stand) regarding your recent food-pusher. But, I would say that the person did deserve a gentle rebuke. Given how "charged" the world is these days, someone like that really does need to take "no thanks" for an answer. It's really inappropriate for someone to try to force their will on you, especially about taking food from outside your own personal "COVID-bubble" from a bowl that is being passed around. Sometimes I think we're too polite (but again, I get your point...you solved it in a way that you were happy with, and I applaud you for it).

I've rarely experienced such overt "pushing" as you did. But, there are still lots of times that folks really want me to try something (e.g., I have a friend who brews beer, and he often wants me to try his latest homebrew). I really try to take care of things on my own terms. In the case of my beer-brewing friend, I really did want to taste his beer, but not during the week (when it would break my personal food plan). As such, I took a couple of bottles and told him I would sample it on the weekend as I wasn't drinking beer during the week. He seemed fine with that plan.

With all of that said, true "food-pushing" is really about imposing one's will on another person. It very well may come from love (or other emotions, like a need for acceptance, compliments, or whatever), but that's why I have really liked the commitment I've made to myself and weight-management. I have a set of rules, and I am trying my best to stick with them!

lowbar31

One positive thing coming out of our pandemic is I'm not being around many food pushers. When I was I was I have learned to deal with them. The real in your face pusher like the "covid corn" guy is rare for me. Food, and lots of the wrong stuff, is always plentiful. I just have to remember the rules. Now I just have to remind my wife that an extra big portion is not love.

podkey

OMG that is just soooooo bad in my book. Ordinary food pushing is one thing. It can be hard to refuse but then again folks shouldn't push back (hint hint dear ole mom).

imastar2

The longer I've lived and reading this post makes me realize along with COVID-19 makes me realize through the years how these "food pushers" have effected me. They really don't necessarily have to be people either. I didn't or couldn't whichever say no! Oh my triggers, health reasons etc; come to mind. I've been self employed most my life but now thinking back about the social events I've attended had huge consequences in my diet life.

We all know phrase association.
"Just Say No"
🤔

linmueller

@steve0mania I totally agree, and often have had more to say to a food pusher, esp. in this covid season. BUT what I didn't mention is that the "gentleman" pushing his food is really an arrogant *kitten* and then some. I usually avoid being around him, but couldn't in this case, and had zero interest in engaging with him. 🙄. But your point is certainly valid!

@lowbar31 Your wife is a tricky situation. My mom has sometimes been like that, but I've"trained" her by consistently sticking with my refusal of more, and really she is mostly great with me, tho still pushes others. I think if it's just you and your wife, it's harder, since you can't deflect the attention to someone else LOL

I KNOW @podkey , it's ridiculous! And I'm embarrassed to say my kids recently accused me of pushing, but at least it was veggies!

I love your post @imastar2 . It's so cool when the lightbulb goes on!