Being Honest
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Ccricfo
Posts: 156 Member
Today I weighed myself and my worst fears were confirmed: I have gained 9 lbs back over the last two months, mostly as a result of talking myself out of my normal workout routine and eating fast food and desserts in secret. This is self-sabotage and is part of my life's patterns....when I am being successful and close to obtaining a milestone, I do the opposite of what I should and end up tearing myself down. This has been a pattern my entire life.
What allows it to continue is my dishonesty of not acknowledging it to others (you guys). I just simply don't complete my food log and back off my participation in the forums.
I know this approach works, but only if I am real with myself and you. I feel like I've let everyone down, and I know this is bad thinking. I'd like to start over....
What allows it to continue is my dishonesty of not acknowledging it to others (you guys). I just simply don't complete my food log and back off my participation in the forums.
I know this approach works, but only if I am real with myself and you. I feel like I've let everyone down, and I know this is bad thinking. I'd like to start over....
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don't feel bad and guilty - we all have been there. I know I've been there and have been catching myself doing the same too much lately. But the good news is that its was only 9 lbs in 2 months, and you've caught it now. You're taking steps to mitigate the slide, so you are on the right track! 3 -
This is a journey and no journey that's worth doing is linear. You learned, you came back, and the best thing you can do is extend some kindness to yourself. You recognized the pattern, made this post, and that's awesome. You 100% didn't let any of us down—I think most of us have probably been in your shoes—I can speak for myself at least when I say that I'm not disappointed, just excited to see you back in my timeline.
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It takes a lot of courage to write a post like that. I don’t really think of it as failing but succeeding. The more honest you can be the more you can learn.
I don’t know if you have kids but to me it’s like telling them not to do something. They don’t learn until they hurt themselves.
For me, I had an ahha moment when I found the large losers group. So much of what is written resonates with me.
None of us would be here if we could have done it all along. I’d take a 9lb lesson over a 100lb one any day.
I left MFP 2 years ago at 199 came back in August at 307.
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Today I weighed myself and my worst fears were confirmed: I have gained 9 lbs back over the last two months, mostly as a result of talking myself out of my normal workout routine and eating fast food and desserts in secret. This is self-sabotage and is part of my life's patterns....when I am being successful and close to obtaining a milestone, I do the opposite of what I should and end up tearing myself down. This has been a pattern my entire life.
What allows it to continue is my dishonesty of not acknowledging it to others (you guys). I just simply don't complete my food log and back off my participation in the forums.
I know this approach works, but only if I am real with myself and you. I feel like I've let everyone down, and I know this is bad thinking. I'd like to start over....
I SEND YOU REASSURANCE AND SUPPORT!
Omg I feel this sooooo much, and also describes me (and my last 2 months) to a T.
Kudos for recognizing it, acknowledging it, and DOING something about it. It is so easy to slip back, and to let shame or embarrassment keep you from seeking the support/accountability/whatever you need to move forward.
This isn't a failure, far from it. In fact recognizing it and being proactive now on is a HUGE success. Maybe you go back into a deficit, maybe you eat at maintenance for a while while you figure things out. Learn and adjust (though much easier said than done, lol). And as I'm sure you know, there is no judgement here! We are all on our own journeys with ups and downs, and we are all here to support, never to judge.
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I agree with all of these posts!....we all make mistakes and it is what we learn from our mistakes that is what is important!....every day we get to begin with a clean slate!....hang in there!....one day at a time!1
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Be gentle with yourself! One good thing - you'll probably lose really quick because I bet a lot of those new-found pounds are water weight that came with the fast food sodium and carbs. You'll start this next leg of your weight loss journey with a rollicking start!
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I saw this on my feed yesterday, and you inspired me to get honest, too! I've been struggling most of the year and I've wanted to blame my 9-month plateau on the year - on covid, on the never-ending extra work I've had to do, on my emotional state from the general awfulness of 2020 - but really, deep down, I know it's because I've eaten too much and that's on me. I've been struggling to track, and I often wait far too long before I go back and do it, and I realized that it's because I haven't wanted to be honest with even myself. And if I can't be honest with myself, this won't work.
And while I agree with others that you shouldn't be too hard on yourself, do keep being honest!!6 -
To all my friends in this group: Thank you for being there...as I've explained to some of you, this is a time of high stress in my household, as we navigate getting our house ready to sell and are trying to close the purchase of our house in Maryland. Lots of disruption, which I don't usually handle well. That's why I appreciate your support so much!5
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Keep your food journal no matter what. It’s been the most important thing for me. Do the process and the scale will follow. Can’t say when exactly but it will follow. The process calls for logging our intake, not just logging the days we hit our numbers. What happened to me was that once I convinced myself that I was logging no matter what, that started keep my behavior in check. I really hated logging overages. I hated it so much that I started working to not go over.
It’s a small and straight forward thing. The only way not to log is to decide not to. Don’t decide that.3 -
Keep your food journal no matter what. It’s been the most important thing for me. Do the process and the scale will follow. Can’t say when exactly but it will follow. The process calls for logging our intake, not just logging the days we hit our numbers. What happened to me was that once I convinced myself that I was logging no matter what, that started keep my behavior in check. I really hated logging overages. I hated it so much that I started working to not go over.
It’s a small and straight forward thing. The only way not to log is to decide not to. Don’t decide that.
Exactly! It is hard to log when you know you've made poor choices that day. But...so important.
One way I coax myself into doing it - and into logging my weight even when I'm not happy with it - is to think how important it will be to my tomorrow...or whatever day...self, to see improvement over the bad days. I have a bit of compassion for that future self and know that they will be happy to see that any upcoming good days are "good" and worthy of a pat on the back, because this journey is hard, and there is no way that everyday is going to be a "good" day.
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my being honest is that for the last several days, I've been slipping badly on logging, especially by evening. It's not showing on the scale yet, but I know I need to rein this in! yesterday was the worst by far, so today, I'm trying to make myself stick to calorie budget.
On the one hand, going over isn't that bad since I had technically wanted to maintain October through December, and that is essentially what I'm doing, though I have my calorie limit set to a little over 1 lb/week - I go over daily lately, but at least that gives me a buffer zone so that when the red starts creeping up, I can get myself to stop at maintenance levels instead of eating to maintenance and then going over. I wanted to stop at 220 and maintain there, but it didn't happen; I got to 220 but haven't been able to stay there. I figure as long as I stay between 220 and 230, I won't hit the panic button, and so far so good on that front.3 -
bmeadows380 wrote: »my being honest is that for the last several days, I've been slipping badly on logging, especially by evening. It's not showing on the scale yet, but I know I need to rein this in! yesterday was the worst by far, so today, I'm trying to make myself stick to calorie budget.
On the one hand, going over isn't that bad since I had technically wanted to maintain October through December, and that is essentially what I'm doing, though I have my calorie limit set to a little over 1 lb/week - I go over daily lately, but at least that gives me a buffer zone so that when the red starts creeping up, I can get myself to stop at maintenance levels instead of eating to maintenance and then going over. I wanted to stop at 220 and maintain there, but it didn't happen; I got to 220 but haven't been able to stay there. I figure as long as I stay between 220 and 230, I won't hit the panic button, and so far so good on that front.
Honestly, I miss your posts!.....0 -
We have a rule against being perfect. The rule should really be attempting to be perfect. It is too stressful and leads to all or nothing thinking.
One of the oldest "all or nothing" traps is making a mistake then adding to it. It takes you from being a little off plan to being a lot off plan. If I am 250 calories over my day why not make it 1000 calories over? Over is over, right? But ultimately we have to pay those calories back or just carry more weight than we need. There is no hiding it.
I am not immune to it so don't think I am preaching at you. A good deal of the time I am writing a response to someone that is either aimed partially or mostly at myself. I have to keep reminding myself of these things. This is a very old habit and mindset to break. It does not appear to go quietly.
Logging and forgiveness are my ultimate answers.
For logging, I always need to own it now or else I will own a lot of extra weight again later. I must be vigilant and accountable. That is the only way that 1000 calorie over day doesn't become a 7000 calorie over week, a 30k over month, and all the problems that going a prolonged period of surplus will bring.
For forgiveness, the faster the better. It is what snaps me back out of all or nothing thinking. If I can forgive my breakfast indulgence I am more likely to do better for lunch and dinner. Most of the time I am over toward the end of the day though so my morning reset is my fail safe.
I have said this before but I will say it again. In some respects I have not quit my plan for 1026 days. However, in another, and perhaps even more accurate way of looking at it, I have started over 1026 times. I have an overall plan but the executable plan is only for today. Even though I am in maintenance right now I still need some small deficit days to bank or balance. Today is a deficit day. I will try to end the day with around a 250 calorie deficit. That is the biggest weight goal in front of me. If I succeed I will be glad, if I don't, I will try to learn from it, forgive it, and move on. Tomorrow will be the next fresh start.
For me it will never be a question of continuous perfection. It is about realizing that won't be the case and creating a plan that has fail safes/snap back points. I am not trying to prevent all weakness and mistakes. I am trying to limit them so they are mostly inconsequential. I am shooting for good enough most of the time and containment for the "other" time.
It is also likely that some of your 9 pound gain is water weight so your true fat gain may not be as high. Even if all of it is fat, 9 pounds is a minor bump. If weight loss was more linear on the scale it would seem like less of an issue but when you have to wait for losses to show up, it makes it feel more dramatic and shocking.
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I have said this before but I will say it again. In some respects I have not quit my plan for 1026 days. However, in another, and perhaps even more accurate way of looking at it, I have started over 1026 times. I have an overall plan but the executable plan is only for today.
I love this idea and am going to hold onto it. Thank you.
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