Living the Lifestyle--wild-card Tuesday, 4-20-2021

steve0mania

We meet here to explore, share, celebrate and (sometimes) agonize over how we do (or don't) incorporate weight loss guidelines into our daily lives. "It's a lifestyle, not a diet" is easily and often said, but sometimes not so simply put into practice.

This is a thread for everyone. If you're new to GoaD, or to weight loss, your questions and comments are always welcome. If you're maintaining, or a long-term loser, your thoughts on the topic may be just what someone else needs to hear. If you're reading this, join in the discussion!

Each weekday, a new topic is offered up for discussion.


Monday - crewahl (Charlie)
Tuesday -
Wednesday - newmantjn (Todd)
Thursday - misterhub (Greg)
Friday - Al_Howard

Today's Topic: Creating a new identity

I mentioned this in the "task-force challenge" thread, and I thought it would be interesting to explore with everyone a bit more.

How willing (and able) are you to change your identity in the pursuit of weight-loss/management? If, say, your big social activity is going to a bar for drinks with friends, how willing/able are you to give things like that up to manage your weight? How willing are you to change your friends (if needed), change your routine, change your activities, etc., to manage your weight/

crewahl

Thanks for stepping in, Steve.

I think my answer to date has been “not very” - but I’m not sure I found there was a big need for change of that sort. Change in behavior, yes; change in habits, yes, change in priorities, yes; change in the things that make me who I am, no.

For me, the ONLY reason WW works is because I can fit it into my life rather than fitting my .I’ve into WW. I was not a gym rat before WW, didn’t darken the door to a gym while losing, and only after retirement did I use the fitness room at the senior center to maintain strength and muscle tone. I amended or extended things I normally did - more walking, more stairs, less baking - but still was the one who made pies for the holidays, and went out to lunch at work.

For me, WW is a tool that I can pick up and use rather than a suit of armor that I have to wear. I’ve learned to use it with more skill and judiciousness than in the past, but it’s my approach rather than my identity.

(Am I deceiving my self?)

steve0mania

For me I think I did need to change my identity. It's not that I was that big a bar-hopper, for example, but over time I found that those relationships that revolved around food and drinks drifted away and I picked up "healthier" relationships, for example, by making plans with friends to go on a run or hike. One of the first serious changes I had to make to get my points within limits was to stop going out to the cafeteria for lunch every day, and instead start brining my lunch. When I first did that, I would bring my home-made lunch up to the cafeteria with me and eat it with my friends, over time that slowly stopped and I simply found it quicker and easier to eat my lunch at my desk (and do some work while eating).

A lot of those changes happened early in my WW career. We moved a few years ago, and so when we arrived here, we integrated into yet another group (more Jewish focused).

Now, my wife and I don't eat out at all (or at least, very rarely). That really does change the types of relationships one has.

As noted, I exercise regularly now, and really didn't get a lot of exercise in before WW. That led to a change in how others perceive who I am. As an example, the last time I was in the hospital for my yearly colonscopy, and was hooked up to the heart-rate monitor, I kept setting off the alarm because my heart-rate floats around 50, and that's where the alarm is set. Thus, after setting off the alarm a few times for low HR, the nurse eventually said, "Oh, your a runner, we'll set the alarm lower." I was "a runner." Who would have thought>?

So, all things told, I have found it easier to adjust who I think I am (my identity) rather than trying to keep doing the same-old-stuff, and trying to modify it to fit with my weight goals.

Finally, the bigger "identity change" occurred when I became a fully-observant Jew. That required a lot of permanent changes than weight-loss did!

Al_Howard

With quitting alcohol, the only thing, so far, is getting together with family, and both my boys have quit (before I did, by over 2 years) so no big deal for them not to have it available for me (as they always had).
Haven't been out to a sit-down restaurant yet, so I'll try handling that when it happens,
We are going to a reception to full membership into a group (to which we belong) for four people, three of which we know quite well. These things are a luncheon. with way too many desserts (which are my downfall). We'll see how it goes.

linmueller

I HAVE changed my identity, but I never thought of it until this question. I no longer drink all day at the lake and on the boat. I don't drink nearly as much! We used to sit out with neighbors at the old house and drink bottles of wine in a night. Now I drink a glass or two at most. Also used to order and eat much differently. More quantity, more grazing, more fatty or cheesy foods. And now that I realize it, I'm definitely ok with it!