Lack of support from friends and family?

violetrix

I'm almost at the end of stage 2 of NROLFW so I've been doing this for nearly 3 months. I'm just starting to tell my friends and family about this but the reactions I've had so far weren't exactly positive. They looked at me like it was really weird and kept questioning me about why I was doing it and what was wrong with cardio and basically judging me for starting to lift. Some of my friends even made jokes about me deciding to "become a man now" and it did kind of hurt.

This is the kind of reaction I was afraid of before I started, so I didn't tell anyone. But I'm starting to really enjoy lifting and my progress has been great so I wanted to spread the word about lifting to my friends and family. I know it shouldn't matter this much what other people say but their lack of support and judgement is really getting me down. Has anyone else experienced this?

BarbellCowgirl

Yes. My mom got a horrified look on her face and told me women who lift weights are "gross" when I told her I was going to start lifting. She also made several other comments about how women aren't "designed to lift heavy", etc. A year later, 28 lbs, several inches, and 4 pants sizes later, she has nothing negative to say. My friends who laughed when i started, now want to train with me. I still don't tell people how MUCH weight I can lift and squat or really discuss lifting unless someone specifically asks what I do. Most don't understand the concept.
Keep doing what you know will build the body you want. The naysayers can't argue with results.

violetrix

Ouch that must've hurt. Luckily my mum is the only person who's actually supporting me in this. But you're right, I'll keep at it and let the results speak for themselves. That'll shut them up :laugh:

Mouse_Potato

Yes. My mom got a horrified look on her face and told me women who lift weights are "gross" when I told her I was going to start lifting. She also made several other comments about how women aren't "designed to lift heavy", etc. A year later, 28 lbs, several inches, and 4 pants sizes later, she has nothing negative to say. My friends who laughed when i started, now want to train with me. I still don't tell people how MUCH weight I can lift and squat or really discuss lifting unless someone specifically asks what I do. Most don't understand the concept.
Keep doing what you know will build the body you want. The naysayers can't argue with results.

This. I've received lots of negative advice and I have cheerfully ignored all of it. I even got one coworker to Google women+lifting+bulk and he admitted he was wrong. When people tell me it will make me bulky or manly I usually hold out my arms to each side and say "where?" I am almost done with Stage 3 and people are starting to tell me how great I look and ask for my secret. Don't stop doing what you know is working because others don't believe it! :drinker:

AlsDonkBoxSquat

Initially I got a some negative comments from friends and family. When I hit my low bf% (<13%) they didn't have many compliments then either, but I know that I do this for me and not for them (although I was too lean anyway). The people who race with me see how I use this body to do the things that I want to do, the people who see me empowered instead of helpless to even open a tight jar of pickles don't question what I'm doing, and my husband certainly is not complaining. I feel good about me, and when people do start talking non-sense because they have been brain washed, well I simply tell them that I do it hoping my uterus will fall out.

rduhlir

You just have to wait it out. There are lots of myths about women lifting out there, and it is all brought on because when people think weight lifting they think body building, which isn't what 90% of females lift for anyway. Eventually people will see how wonderful you look and will start asking your secrets, etc....

MyOwnSunshine

Results speak for themselves. Continue lifting heavy and see what the skinny-fat crowd has to say a year from now.

Nadiataha

Violet and others,

I'm sorry you're going through this. It's unfortunate that people are so judgmental. But maybe the best approach is to do what they're not and give them the benefit of the doubt. A LOT of people are operating under incredibly outdated information about fitness. Just like in past decades people thought the healthiest meals involved meat and potatoes at the center of the plate, or that smoking is good for your lungs. Those who keep up, like those on this board an a lot of people on MFP, know better.

My response to this personally has been dismissive, in a kind of how-cute-you-think-you-know-what-you're-talking-about kind of way. Then I do my own thing. Sunshine is right: They can keep doing the skinny fat thing, or just the fat thing, while spending hours on the treadmill, and I'll be laughing all the way to the beach in my bikini.

There's a motivational saying that applies here:
"First they'll ask why, then they'll ask you how you did it."