Other Ways to Satisfy the Dopamine Demands

lauriekallis
lauriekallis Posts: 4,770 Member
edited January 2022 in Social Groups
Stress hits - sadness, excitement, injury or ... ?... doesn't matter, good or bad - the brain hamsters demand highly palatable food. And lots of it.
What to do?
How do you stop the binge before it starts. I used to smoke - but that is out of the question :D Let's make a list of our tricks - a grab bag we can come to at those moments.
«1

Replies

  • bmeadows380
    bmeadows380 Posts: 2,981 Member
    I dont' have a binge problem so I can't speak from that direction, but if I get a craving I can't ignore, I try compromising with myself and doing the math to work it into my calorie count for the day. Such as 1 cookie instead of 2 or half a serving, or substituting something else that is similar but less calorie dense.
  • Yoolypr
    Yoolypr Posts: 3,298 Member
    I don’t binge per se. When anxiety hits I tend to walk around grazing on anything and everything. Carrot followed by cookies, handful of candy, chips, leftover bits from refrigerator - all day long. A few dozen of those grazes add up to a lot of never-satisfying calories. Sometimes even having a complete meal can be followed by crazy grazing. Most days I can distract myself but sometimes the crazies last a few days. Never know what’s going to trigger it. Wish I had a better strategy than trying not to do it or think about it. Somehow while doing this my head is on another planet.
  • lauriekallis
    lauriekallis Posts: 4,770 Member
    I guess I should not have included the word binge in that description because that's really restrictive. I guess I was thinking of any time that we feel strongly compelled to eat for reasons other than hunger or nourishment.
  • lauriekallis
    lauriekallis Posts: 4,770 Member
    edited January 2022
    That's exactly the kind of thing I was thinking of, Yooly.

    Sometimes I can cut off the initial urge by calling and chatting with a friend who is very talkative so our conversation can go on for maybe an hour and sometimes the urge will have passed.

    It seems if I give in it just keeps rolling and the urge can get even stronger.
  • Yoolypr
    Yoolypr Posts: 3,298 Member
    And the worst part is that I know it’s not physical hunger. It’s some emotional need that I can’t fix immediately. Could be big or small anxiety and off I go! 😱
  • conniewilkins56
    conniewilkins56 Posts: 3,391 Member
    Let me tell you about a binge lol…who can relate?….be honest…..it usually starts in the afternoon or evening and continues for 4 or 5 hours to a couple of weeks until it becomes your “ normal”…after a meal you think you just need “ a little something sweet”…. You have a cookie and it is gone so quick you need another….and then another…..or you are depressed or anxious…..it’s like a snowball rolling down hill….with me it gets to the point that I eat until I am sick….I swear I won’t do it again, but I do….it isn’t grazing or mindless….it is like something takes over and you can’t stop…..I might eat two or three candy bars followed by an entire bag of cookies and a quart of milk….I do not fill up…I can eat until I feel sick, wait an hour or so and then eat more….I rarely throw up but wish I could….usually IBS begins….and food not touching goes out the window….I have bologna and peanut butter sandwiches….Hershey bar loaded with peanut butter on top….butter and sugar mixed and spread on toast…a roll of ritz crackers with cream cheese and jelly….cereal in a mixing bowl loaded with sugar….an entire pie….it really doesn’t matter as long as I am filling that void…..I wish I knew what I was trying to feed….
  • Yoolypr
    Yoolypr Posts: 3,298 Member
    You are so right Connie. What are we trying to feed? I would have tried therapy if I’d had the money to find a good therapist in my youth. Now I could afford therapy but don’t want to waste precious time at my age trying to find the solution.
    I don’t think I’ll ever get the crazies under total control. Best I can hope for is being able to manage most lapses.
  • lauriekallis
    lauriekallis Posts: 4,770 Member
    Let's try to short circuit the response we've developed of eating and discover other things we can do to boost those dopamine levels.

    Only thing I can think of for me is music - and maybe dancing around the house. Just for one song.
  • PAV8888
    PAV8888 Posts: 14,253 Member
    Pacing and taking out the girl and or listening to an audiobook while out, or going lower cal and volume tend to work.

    When I don't go out, it's almost continuous graze. Usually feeling tired, or cold, or agitated.

    And I WOULD have sworn I didn't engage in emotional eating.

    Took a while to even see it in myself.
    Now I can also see it in close relatives.
  • Yoolypr
    Yoolypr Posts: 3,298 Member
    Whew Bella what a grim childhood! Glad to know you’ve been able to work through and find some healing. It’s surely a long road but you’ve made great progress.
    I’m sure many of us, myself included, have food disfunction rooted in childhood. Mine was basically being happily overfed by starved immigrant parents who were thrilled to put food on the table. My two thin sisters balked at overeating while I was the poster child for the available bounty of freedom.
  • lauriekallis
    lauriekallis Posts: 4,770 Member
    Thank you, Bella. I can't even reply properly but wow what an experience even to read. I know that I will come back to your post again and again and will benefit from what you have shared with us. At the same time I'm so very sorry that you had to go through what you did to learn what you so generously share with us here.

    I had a little of that, Yooly. My wonderful dad always stopped at the store and brought home special treats for me every payday, and if he worked overtime. Oh how good those treats made me feel.
  • Bella_Figura
    Bella_Figura Posts: 4,322 Member
    Folks, I don't want to give a wrong impression. In parts my childhood/adolescence was pretty grim, but in parts it was perfectly fine. My mom had a very complex personality and was a very damaged woman in many ways, but I was never in the slightest doubt that I was loved. She and my dad would literally have lain down their lives for us without a second's hesitation, and they made enormous sacrifices for us. Mom was of the generation that believed in tough love - it was because she loved and worried about me that she did her best to force me into what she saw as a better shape. She wanted me to have a fulfilled and happy romantic/personal life and a fulfilling career, and she thought being fat would hinder me to achieve both those things.

    So her interventions came from a place of love and concern....and though dreadful, they were well-intentioned. I think I survived pretty well, all things considered, and plenty of folks have far worse childhoods.
  • lauriekallis
    lauriekallis Posts: 4,770 Member
    Bella - you have such a good heart and so much strength. Your words of compassion and understanding are beautiful to read.
  • conniewilkins56
    conniewilkins56 Posts: 3,391 Member
    I think most parents TRY to do what they think is best for their kids but some fail miserably…my moms dad was an abusive alcoholic and he would hit my mom when she was a child and it left her scarred….but she still loved him and he was a good provider for the family always having food and clothing for them….I never could figure out why my mom still loved him….Bella I want to give the little girl you were the biggest hug….the way my parents coped with me being overweight was taking me to the doctors and getting me diet pills!….I lost weight but I was buzzed a lot of the time!….all in the name of love….
  • bmeadows380
    bmeadows380 Posts: 2,981 Member
    I grew up in a loving home but in a family that came from hard working farmer stock and who cooked liked farmer's wives though we no longer lived on farms or worked hard enough to need those excess calories. Portions sizes were always large, which makes it hard for me this day to accurately judge what is a true portion.

    I have the bad habit of a handle here, a pinch there, too, so I've also had to really restrict the snackable food in the house!
  • conniewilkins56
    conniewilkins56 Posts: 3,391 Member
    Eating an apple with just a little peanut butter or chocolate hummus keeps me satisfied some time
  • Yoolypr
    Yoolypr Posts: 3,298 Member
    I try putting the trigger foods into small packet. Hoping if I can’t control the crazies at least it will be a smaller portion.
  • lauriekallis
    lauriekallis Posts: 4,770 Member
    So many reasons why we are all here.

    I keep thinking/hoping it is possible to retrain my brain so that "food" isn't what I reach for when I need that "hit."

    My alcoholic friend was shocked when he eventually started to see that alcohol didn't have to be a part of everything. That he could have fun without drinking, grieve without drinking, relax without drinking. But it took years and years.

    We can't completely eliminate food from our lives like he had to eliminate alcohol - but I would like to eliminate food for reasons other than nutrition.
    • Dream of a hot bath and a cup of herbal tea and music to settle my nerves - rather than a big bowl of comfort food when coming home from a rough day in the world
    • Go for a vigorous walk - rather than going out for donuts after having a fight with a loved one
    • Lie down with a good movie and go to bed early when I'm exhausted after The Boy goes home on Sunday evening - rather than ordering pizza the moment the house has cleared
    For me - binging is just that one step further. Rather than craving a special food - I crave the sensation of gorging...but the same idea would apply? Rather than wanting to gorge on just about anything, to maybe settle in under the wacky shoulder massager I bought last year for half an hour.

    The brain juices are flowing this afternoon - you all have inspired me.



  • Bella_Figura
    Bella_Figura Posts: 4,322 Member
    It's all about finding what the emotion is that you're trying to sooth, and trying to develop new habits that create new neural pathways that are healthier responses to that emotion than simply going into a binge. It takes a lot of trial and error, a lot of patience, a lot of self-awareness and a willingness to delve deeply into some painful emotions. Lots of stuff on CBT can be helpful...
  • conniewilkins56
    conniewilkins56 Posts: 3,391 Member
    Although it is more money, I only buy chips in snack size 160 calorie bags…chips are really not my go to, I like sweets…..freezing food like cookies or brownies does not help…l just eat them frozen!….sugar free hard candy helps a little….
  • lauriekallis
    lauriekallis Posts: 4,770 Member
    Although it is more money, I only buy chips in snack size 160 calorie bags…chips are really not my go to, I like sweets…..freezing food like cookies or brownies does not help…l just eat them frozen!….sugar free hard candy helps a little….

    How about something other than food? Just no food unless it is for a meal/hunger/nourishment?
  • Bella_Figura
    Bella_Figura Posts: 4,322 Member
    edited January 2022
    How about something other than food? Just no food unless it is for a meal/hunger/nourishment?

    OK, you're going to think I'm weird, but when I'm anxious or tense or upset, I have a few non-food ways to sooth myself.

    No. 1 is always to walk barefoot, preferably on a lawn, but if not on a deep pile rug or carpet. There is something deeply soothing about being - literally - grounded. Make fists with your toes and dig/burrow them into the lawn/rug/sand/mud. It releases some really primeval emotions...

    No. 2: I light some candles, make myself a mug of hot tea, put on my Billie Holiday LP and put my feet in a bowl of hot water with a few drops of lavender oil in it. The bowl of water has to be placed on a 2-3-deep- layer of towels, so that when I remove my feet from the water, I can sink my toes into the towelling, to evoke the feelings mentioned above in no. 1. The combination of the candlelight, the crackles and hiss from my 41 year-old-vinyl record, the hot tea and the scented hot water are utterly blissful. I've had this Billie Holiday record since I was 15, and it soothed me then and continues to soothe me now...

    No. 3: I take a bath and lie completely flat in the tub with just my nostrils above the water (like a hippo). Again, primeval....maybe it harks back to the warmth of the womb....Usually I fall asleep...I top up the water as it cools, and emerge as wrinkled as a Shar-pei....lovely!

    No. 4: I go for a walk. Works almost every time.

    No 5: Music....so evocative. Sometimes something upbeat and cheerful to get me bopping round the living room. Sometimes cello music, which is so mournful and beautiful....

    No: 6: I listen to this versionof The Little Prince. It's a stupendous recording that never fails to lift my spirits.

    No 7: I read one of the books that I loved from childhood (e.g. an Enid Blyton or Charlotte's Web/The Secret Garden/Alice In Wonderland...)...or an Agatha Christie or a Sherlock Holmes...something that I can practically quote by heart because it's so cosy and familiar...
  • lauriekallis
    lauriekallis Posts: 4,770 Member
    Love these, Bella. All sensual - which I guess makes sense! A few are similar to mine - but I've never tried the barefoot walking ... though I have used walking barefoot for other purposes. Going to try that for sure....sorry I let my shag rugs slip away from my life now :p

    Maybe this will be a time for me to try poetry!
  • lauriekallis
    lauriekallis Posts: 4,770 Member
    My bedroom rug - silk - is beautiful to the foot. I'll be walkin round the end of my bed next time I need to self soothe...diggin the healthy vibrations coming from the three pothos in the window (they are the happiest plants in the house).

    Having a soothing place - making a soothing place to retreat to in times of stress could be a good one too.
  • PAV8888
    PAV8888 Posts: 14,253 Member
    Holly hamster 🐹 management seminar! I KNEW that the emotionally adroit and adept CAT 😺 contingent would probably prove to be the best at managing hamsters and GARFIELD sure as *kittens* is coming through with some hard won and insightful... err... insights!

    Thank you.

    All jokes aside: truly thank you. I will think on some of these... cause... under the "right" conditions... I just keep eating as I am sure many of us here do!

    ... checks paws and contemplates barefooting it.... not tonight :lol:
  • Bella_Figura
    Bella_Figura Posts: 4,322 Member

    Maybe this will be a time for me to try poetry!

    I use a wonderful app called The Poetry Hour that has famous actors reading poetry aloud. Some of the recordings are mesmerising. I highly recommend it!
  • Bella_Figura
    Bella_Figura Posts: 4,322 Member
    My bedroom rug - silk - is beautiful to the foot. I'll be walkin round the end of my bed next time I need to self soothe...diggin the healthy vibrations coming from the three pothos in the window (they are the happiest plants in the house).

    Having a soothing place - making a soothing place to retreat to in times of stress could be a good one too.

    I know it sounds a bit new-agey and hippyish, but I do think it makes sense why there is emotional benefit and resonance in stripping away anything extraneous and getting as close to nature as we possibly can.

    Our veneer of civililisation is just that - the thinnest veneer, laid down during the most recent nano-seconds of our evolution. For millenia we were part of the primordial swamp - warm, wet, dark- until we managed to haul ourselves onto land. In evolutionary terms, we only donned garb and footwear at minute 23:59. So it makes sense that when we're stressed, tired, unhappy or afraid that we would find comfort and solace in sensory inputs that take us back to those warm, wet, dark origins. I'm not sure if I fully swallow the theory of genetic memory, but our far-back ancestors would've walked barefoot through swampy mud, grainy sand, springy grasses, cool,smooth rock - they would've rested their backs wearily against the rough, mossy sun-warmed bark of trees, they'd have crunched through crisp fallen leaves and felt their toes sink into the rich loam beneath. They'd have rejoiced at the warmth of the sun on their skin after a long winter, and enjoyed the cool dim interior of a cave during the blistering heat of summer. I think we can experience some of that same simple, primitive pleasure and sense of innate rightness from trying to recreate some of their experience.

    Like I say, a bit new-agey/tree-huggy/hippyish...but it works for me!