What's On Your Mind Today?
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LazyBlondeChef wrote: »Stress is on my mind.
@LazyBlondeChef I am sorry for the challenges you are finding overwhelming at this time. I should be an expert in managing stress by now as I seem to be a magnet for the life issues that can lead to the abundance of stress. But I am no expert and only a dedicated lifelong learner and practitioner of stress reduction and management. I do so with real intention as it is what has killed a number of family members and close friends. The thing with stress is that when you can sense it, it is already doing harm. Sometimes the techniques that work for others aren’t a match or “enough”. Seek help and reach out for support from any allied medical professional who will help you.
Some things that help me:
I keep away from alcohol: for me, it isn’t a stress reliever because of how it disrupts my sleep, and for me (and most people) it is a depressive.
Be sure you’re getting enough magnesium and B6. Talk to your pharmacist as they are a super resource for advice, will take a call from you, and can review in light of any medications you take. I can’t overemphasize the issue that magnesium deficit is for so many of us and the impact it has on our ability to manage stress and to get to sleep (and stay asleep).
Have a sleep time ritual: the banning of technology is a big one for me; herbal tea or warm milk; listening to a mindfulness podcast; my girlfriend listens to a storytelling podcast (I just found it annoying); whatever gives you a sense of separation from the day and easier entry to sleep and rest.
Walking. Just one foot in front of the other without purposeful intention to get XX number of steps, activity minutes, or any other measure. Preferably outside as that has additional benefits.
Get outside. Every day. Even for 5 minutes. Even to just stand in the fresh air and daylight.
Do 4x4x4 breathing standing outside (4 seconds inhale; hold for 4 seconds; exhale for 4). Repeat that cycle four times.
Like @Caroline_slowandsteady I find writing things down (I use the notes function on my phone) in lists to help “get it out”. Everyone has their own classification of the categories that could most help them. Mine changes over
time.
My propensity for procrastination creates stress for me so I use my list approach to set two intentions each morning and then check in later in the day. Most of this practice is about giving myself the sense that I have some control over some of the things that can feel overwhelming.
This also helps me identify anything I can say “no” to at this time? Sometimes the very act of having a bit more autonomy in the use of my time is empowering; sometimes saying no just creates more stress (family…); sometimes it isn’t possible because of what is needed of me at that time. But there is usually something I can exert some control over, and that helps me.
Stay off social media; stop watching the news. For me, both can trigger stress and have never yet relieved any. When layered on top of what can already feel unmanageable in my life, allowing myself into these spaces are really an issue for me.
Finally, I learned as a child how to do progressive muscle relaxation. It helps. Many free sources online to help learn how or to use for guided practice.
Take good care of yourself through all of this.
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LazyBlondeChef wrote: »Stress is on my mind. I have made a point of having a stress free life since I retired about 1.5 years ago. While my prior job was somewhat stressful I handled it well most of the time. But now I'm in a period of high stress and I can't relax. My stomach is constantly in knots ... which is something I haven't experienced since I was in my 20s.
Outside of alcohol (which is a short term solution) what advice do you have for relieving stress?
Stress is a problem for lots of us.
some you can work on and know you can make changes to fix, some are obstacle that won't ever go away.
I've the stress of trying to fit mum, (91) and sharing our home together and thankfully able to stay home alone if I'm away, but with needs that require my assistance, with my best friend, living 80 miles away with no family to step into the breech just now while she is undergoing chemo treatment, which means she needs transport for hospital visits every other week and metime.
The stress of illness in anyone close is immovable so we just have to keep trusting.
The stress of fitting all the needs together and still getting sleep has proved difficult and shows in my binge/comfort eating.
Since the start of my friend's treatment I sat down and made myself a plan they have to learn to live with.
I rise early, breakfast, dress and take myself for a long walk before the day kicks in.
My walk in the countryside or along the shore before the world gets going with just nature for company doubles as my exercise and my metime.
Then after 2 hours slipping slowly I'm ready to face the world and all its demands.
split your stress factors into moveable and fixed and male a plan for them and seek help from agency or friends if you need to talk them from your system
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Thanks for the responses @Caroline_slowandsteady & @jamcnewman
I share your propensity for procrastination @jamcnewman which is not helping. I don't usually have this type of stress. I think part of the problem is I'm still a little ambivalent about the changes we're making (new job for my partner, cross country move, selling my house) but contracts have been signed so we're pretty much committed at this point though we're only committing ourselves to three years. Who knows. Either we'll move on to our final retirement destination or we'll end up loving the place and stay longer.
I've moved states and houses multiple times in the past and never felt stressed by it. Probably because I was excited about where I was going. I'm sure it will be fine for a few years ... it's all those unknowns. And wondering if I really want to do this but since he already started the job three weeks ago there's no going back.
I make lists of all the stuff I have to do but never thought to make a list of what's on my mind. I'll give that a try. Maybe getting them on paper will help to keep them out of my head. Thankfully, sleeping hasn't been a problem. I've only had one night of insomnia in these past few weeks.4 -
@LazyBlondeChef
I have been known to make stress and worry a full time job. In terms of this part of what you said:
I'm sure it will be fine for a few years ... it's all those unknowns. And wondering if I really want to do this but since he already started the job three weeks ago there's no going back.
... and then your acknowledgement it might help to get a list of everything that's on your mind out on paper....
to that I would specifically add that you need to consider:
"What is the absolute worst case scenario?"
As uncomfortable as this is, worrying about unknowns often involves a lot of ruminating, a lot of what ifs... and I think for anxiety's sake if we can just very specifically name what the exact root of our fear is, it helps release some of that.
Not sure if it'll help, but something to try. Often the "what if's" I'm stressing about are just little side effects of the actual root of my concern, which once named, I can challenge with the rational side of my brain.
Good luck with your upcoming move but more importantly, I hope you find the peace to deal with it in a way that doesn't completely wear you out.5 -
@ashleycarole86 thanks for that additional insight. I think that's a good idea to think about the worst case scenario.0
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Any idea where March 22 went? It’s not on my phone for today mfp again?0
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@snowshoe072 - I just bumped it for you. It was pretty far down the pages.0
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enlightenme3 wrote: »@snowshoe072 - I just bumped it for you. It was pretty far down the pages.
Thanks for doing that @enlightenme3
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I have been sick a few days and went to the doctor today. Not sure what is wrong with me yet so they are admitting me to the hospital. I won’t be posting much until I am better.8
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Sending healing thoughts your way for a speedy recovery @jmu19650
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Hope they can figure out what's wrong quickly @jmu19650
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I have been sick a few days and went to the doctor today. Not sure what is wrong with me yet so they are admitting me to the hospital. I won’t be posting much until I am better.
Thinking about you right now Jill and hoping they can figure it out and get you well quickly. 💛
@jmu19651 -
@jmu1965-hope you are feeling better soon!0
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Good morning everyone. I am home from the hospital. I was released last night. I am doing better but still have some recovering to do. I had 22 pound weight gain. It reflects 3 days in the hospital with no sleep, no movement, and the stress of being in the hospital. I was able to eat Wednesday night and yesterday.
All I can say is better days are ahead. I will rest this weekend and get a little sunshine. ☀️🙂4 -
@jmu1965 Oh gosh, I'm so glad that you're home and doing better! Hopefully you can get some REST! {{HUGS}}
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@jmu1965 Hi Jill. I'm so glad that you're home, resting, and doing better! Did you get any answers from the doctors?
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Yes @TerriRichardson112, I had a Urinary Tract Infection. With that I got Sepsis. It had just started Tuesday and I needed to be in the hospital. Then on Wednesday I had two AFib episodes in the afternoon. I was told that could happen in one day or more. I have not had any more. I was then moved to a room in the cardiology area of the hospital so they could monitor me. The echocardiogram results were fine. No damage found. I am wearing a heart monitor for 15 days.3
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@jmu1965 how scary for you! I'm glad you are home and on the mend.0
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@jmu1965 It’s good that there is no damage. Hopefully, you can now concentrate on getting back to normal.
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Just wanted to share a short note about what I am doing.
I have a lot of weight to lose and relate to being a food addict. I have trigger foods that I know I just have to avoid at all cost. One being Soda Pop - I have just recently binged again with this after not having any for about 5 years. In one day of going back to water I have dropped 1 pound - so I know that is a positive change.
I am also working on 3 meals a day, no snacks ( meaning all food has to be eaten at meal time) and no sugar and no flour as both of those have been proven to be addictive. I have done well with making changes but am struggling like a lot of us.
If anyone would like to join me I do have a group called 'No sugar, no flour = Healthy lifestyle changes' = we are a small group of 4 who are working on cleaning up our eating and we are making headway with positive results. If anyone would be interested in eating as I have mentioned I would be pleased to have you join me on the group - just email me and I will sent you and invite.
To the leaders of this group: I am not sure if you want what I am doing shared on this group - so if you find this message not applicable let me know and I will look at having it removed.
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