Starting again, so glad I saw this group today!

desertbloom415

Hello all,

I've just gotten back into the groove of recording my meals here and have 60 lbs to lose and a lot of strength to build back. I had a stroke 4 years ago at age 51, was in bed for a year, gained about 100 lbs, lost 40 then it stopped and am finally serious about losing the rest of it. I'm usually really independent and never ask for help thinking I can do it myself or I'll ask for help when I really need it. I never did (mainly because my brother was diagnosed with a serious disease at 18 and I felt I'd burden my family if I asked for help or I thought I'd be told I shouldn't complain because he had it much worse). I realize now that outlook probably led to my stroke so I started changing that behavior right after my stroke. It was probably the best thing that could happen to me because it was the wakeup call I needed. I'm grateful to still be alive and kicking but I feel guilty I haven't treated my body as well as I should since. I want to take better care of it with the extra time here on earth I was lucky to get.

I never engaged enough in MFP's support system so I'm happy I saw your post today! Hopefully we can help each other with support and humor as life gets so hard sometimes I always think I'm better off laughing if I can rather than falling into a depression. I'm limiting my calorie intake to 1200/day and want to start walking 1-2 hours a day. I used to be so active and miss being out and about so I'm hoping to get strong again too.

Where are you all located? I'm in the bay area and we got snow this weekend in the Santa Cruz mountains and in Tilden Park in Berkeley - crazy! Hope you're all well with this cold weather we've been getting nationwide.

y2gcsbbddn

Snow in Berkeley is wild. There’s lots of snow here in WI but nothing unusual about that.
Good on you coming through a stroke and being positive - that must have been incredibly hard.
1200 cal sounds tough. See how it goes but maybe consider taking things a little slower, easier? I don’t know - just a thought.
Hang in!

tj3084

Wow Desertbloom, you’ve certainly been through a lot! The important part though is that you are, as you say, alive and kicking and have another shot at the life that might make you happy. That’s why I’m here (And why I decided to gamble on grad school @ the ripe age of 58). Like you I’ve always tried to be independent (and a bit of a loner) but I’m trying to switch things up now and build some sense of community. And I know what you mean about feeling guilt. I’m just coming off of a month long injury that was my fault because I refused to take time off when my body said no…body sure made its voice heard after that though! All we can do is begin again and support each other through the hard times.

desertbloom415

@tj3084 Thanks so much for your reply. It definitely started my day off well and I can see how helpful MFP's support system can be. How did you get your injury? About give years ago I was trying to move an unusually heavy couch by myself and fell and broke my hand. It would've been so easy to ask the guys downstairs for help but I didn't and sure paid for it. I'm definitely not as strong as I used to be but that's ok, just gotta realize it and adapt. What are you studying in grad school? I just started again too - so excited about it.

desertbloom415

@y2gcsbbddn That's a good point and I definitely will adjust my calorie intake if I'm feeling weak or hungry. I'm trying to remember to really pay attention to what my body's telling me. All the extra weight has given me knee and back problems so I'm paying extra attention to those areas. Thanks so much for the comment, I can see how MFP's support system can be uplifting.

tj3084

Hi Desertbloom:

Funny you mentioned knees…I work inpatient as a nurses assistant and I have some osteoarthritis and sacroiliac problems. Was having pain but slapped on a lidocaine patch, took some Advil and worked a 12 hr shift. Haven’t worked since. It’ll be one month by the time they cleared me to return. I developed a cyst inside my knee. The docs recommended PT for my pain but missed the cyst. I couldn’t bend my knee and was in agony for 3 weeks until it ruptured and I ended up in the ER. On the mend now but not 100% yet. You can bet from now on when body says “NO” I’m gonna listen! I am getting my Master’s in Expressive Arts Therapy. Almost done with year 1. What are you studying?

desertbloom415

Hi @tj3084,

I'm not sure I'm replying to you correctly yet so I'm glad you so my last message. I'm so sorry about your knee. I tore both my ACLs back in my 20s and had surgery on one of them. I didn't on the other because I didn't feel like it gave me much improvement. Now all these years later I'm glad I didn't because it's the one I did have surgery on that hurts me more, especially during rainy, cold weather. I'm like you, definitely learning to listen to what my body is telling me and to stop when it says so!

Someone stole my car Monday night so I'm really down about it. I took really good care of the engine and it never broke down on me in the 23 years I had her. I'm hoping the police find it but I won't hold my breath.

tj3084

Hey Desert Bloom, I checked the dates and could tell you’d posted but I wonder if there’s another, more visible way to post? I found it anyway 🙂 I am so sorry to hear about your car. What a tough break! Don’t let it get you down or discourage you though. Stay focused on what you’re prioritizing and what is good and right - you losing weight and feeling better! I know how easy it is to dwell when bad things happen but you have to turn your face to the Light and trust that the Universe has a plan that is for your highest good. It’s tough but you got this!