Living The Lifestyle - Monday 6/26/23

crewahl

This is a thread for everyone. If you're new to GoaD, or to weight loss, your questions and comments are always welcome. If you're maintaining, or a long-term loser, your thoughts on the topic may be just what someone else needs to hear. If you're reading this, join in the discussion!

Each weekday, a new topic is offered up for discussion.

Monday - crewahl (Charlie)
Tuesday – Wildcard
Wednesday - misterhub (Greg)
Thursday -imastar2 (Derrick)
Friday - Wildcard

Today's Topic: Sociability and Health

Quick quiz - can you name the families in the five homes closest to you? (I’ll wait.)

There’s lots of information floating around about the impact of loneliness on health. Add that to the distance we adopted during Covid and the political polarization that can drive people apart. It may be harder today to be social, but it may be more necessary.

So what are you doing to deal with this issue? Are you a naturally sociable person who has remained engaged throughout the pandemic? Are you an introvert who hasn’t seen the outside of your shell in years? Are you moving towards one position or the other, in your opinion? How often do you interact with people who aren’t family members, and is that changing?

crewahl

I'm an introvert, and sociability doesn’t come naturally to me.

We lived in our last home for sixteen years. We were both traveling at least 45 minutes each way to demanding jobs. It was a neighborhood where families interacted around kids's activities, and we don’t have kids. As a result, we had little interaction with our neighbors, and when we moved out in 2018 we knew three of the five families closest to our home.

We concluded that, even if selfishly, we needed to more of a community around us as we aged. We made a point of introducing ourselves to our new neighbors when we moved in. We’ve gone over an introduced ourselves and welcomed new neighbors. We hosted two “Drinks on the Drive” get-togethers last summer that were open to anyone in the HOA. I’m taking a tai chi class at the senior center, which exposed me to other people. We’ve both volunteered as ballot clerks in town as a way to meet other people.

Sociability doesn’t come easy to me, so this is something between an effort and a strain. I’m also wondering how much of this behavior is me, and how much is a regional characteristic of New England. (Always nice to have something to blame that’s not just a personal characteristic.) 😉

misterhub

I greet my neighbors, and I spend regular time with my kids. But, I also have some work friends with whom I do things. I am not a social being by nature, so I have to force myself to be such at work (a must as a manager). When I get home, though, I am totally into the solitude and battery recharging necessary for an introvert to function in our society.

cakeman21k

I am definitly a home body. I know the names of none of my neighbors, and in my estimation there is only one pair of friends that we have in the area. I blame my New Jersey roots which will lead me to start most conversations with "Hi I'm Ron, what the f!@K do you want?" or something equally obnoxious. My DW is more social than me and has developed a much wider circle through book club, backgammon club, sewing circles etc. but I am content to be home in my own little bubble.

Al_Howard

TOL and I also have few real friends. She's not into a lot of things. Does help out with a group that sorts and prices used, donated jewelry for the Christmas fair at church.
I'm in the Knights of Columbus, and get to an occasional meeting.
We're both professed Order of Francis (St Francis of Assisi) Secular, a lay order of the Catholic church.
Other than that, the only really close people we have are out three adult children, and some of their kids.

crewahl

cakeman21k wrote: »

I blame my New Jersey roots which will lead me to start most conversations with "Hi I'm Ron, what the f!@K do you want?"

So it’s a Northeast thing and not just New England? 😊

88olds

I’ve made it a point to know the neighbors. We live in one of those more modern FL subdivisions. The garages are in the front. If I see someone out front, I make a point to go over and talk. Some we socialize with some of the neighbors a bit. Been out to dinner. Invited into their homes. In a odd way Hurricane Ian was a help. It brought us together. We were without electricity for 11 days. We had to help each other out.

When we lived in Key West my 2 biggest activities were Pickleball and party boat fishing. Both great ways to meet people. Key West brought me in contact with a lot of vacationers. I always start a game of Pickleball by asking the names of anyone I don’t know. I never fish on the party boat without knowing the names of the people next to me.

Most of this is by design. I’ve read those articles about loneliness and health too Charlie. This stuff doesn’t come easy to me either but it can be worked on and gets easier. I’ve tried to model myself after some outgoing people I’ve met. My friend Carl from years ago was good at it. My friend Frank. Big Bruce I met on the party boat in KW. Bruce approached me and asked me my name and where I was from. After a minutes he started introducing me to the other regulars. Modeling has been a useful tool in this.I just kind of think I’m channeling one of these other guys and let go. It works.

steve0mania

I, too, have multiple strikes against me: I'm pretty introverted/non-social by nature, I grew up in NJ, I lived in the greater Boston area, I'm not a fan of small-talk and/or gossip, and I find it creepy when people know my "business."

With that said, though, I do appreciate the importance of connections and relationships. Now we live in the mid-west, and we do indeed know our neighbors. We've have a standing wine hang-out once in a while, we have a summer block party, and we do chat occasionally out on the lawn (especially with our next-door neighbor--we look out for one-another's property quite often).

What's been even more important in terms of connections is our religious community. That really forms the core group of friends for us. One aspect of observing Shabbat is that Friday night dinner and Saturday lunch is often a time to share meals with friends from the synagogue and larger community. There are also a lot of community events, and going to synagogue builds many connections as well.

I know that if, G-d forbid, we needed any significant help, we'd be able to rely on the community. I've seen many others in the community receive support and it's just the nature of this world.