Coping NonPaleo family members, especially spouses

redheadmommy

I wonder if anybody else have nonpaleo family members. How do you cope with it? What do you do to accommodate the situation? It is an ongoing problem in our household.

My husband doesn't believe in the whole Paleo thing and he is not willing to try it out. He sees this whole paleo eating as my weight loss plan to lose the baby weight. He is the skinny fat type, so he think it is not for him. He also loves his pasta/pizza/ bread / pastry etc. We divided the housework the way that I do 100% of the cooking, meal preparation, grocery shopping, so i have a great control over what everybody eats. I cook paleo( well primal) dinner every night and depending on what is the dinner, he may get a nonpaleo side. For example i make burger which i eat with salad , and letture wrap, and he get his bun. Or I make pasta sauce / stew which I eat with spaghetti squash or veggie noodles and I make gluten free pasta for him and my son.

I put our son on gluten free diet during the last year and even my nonpaleo husband sees the benefit of this. I would like to move forward with my son diet and cut out even nongluten grains, but the kid wants to eat whatever his dad eats. My husband agreed no gluten eating in front of the kid, but this is how far he would go. He still wants his grain sides, like gluten free pasta , bread and cookies. I hate baking, but I learnt to make muffins and cookies from almond flour, so I can phase out the grain based treats in my husband and my son diet.

The worse thing is that my husband getting more and more health problems year after year. In the last few years he had kidney stones twice, he has GERD, he has constant migranes, , IBS, and the newest is gout. Unfortunately the traditional medical advice for many of his problems is to eat less meat, especially less red meat. This makes even harder to convince him about the paleo lifestyle.

I really like to chat with others who deal with kind of paleo-nonpaleo problem within in their household.

TriLifter

I'm with you. At least your husband will eat gluten-free sides. I'd have to pry bread from my husband's cold, dead hands before he'd give it up. Just keep doing what you're doing...you might eventually get him to switch whithout him noticing...

AllanMisner

My fiance is not eating primal the way I am. She eats what she wants, I eat what I want. She knows why I'm doing what I'm doing and she sees the results. She won't commit to it and I'm not pushing at all. When I cook, I cook paleo/primal. When she cooks, I eat part of what she prepared and leave the rest. Still, I don't make any demands or comments.

I figure in time, she'll see where I am and where she is and decide she should change. Until she does, I'm not willing to make an argument out of food.

ShannonKirton

After I discovered the awesomeness of paleo, I asked my husband very nicely if he would even consider joining me. His answer was unclear but his actions are definite. He refuses to give up his breads, sweets, junk etc and sadly enough he's dragging our daughter down with him.

I have voiced my concerns about our little one to him and asked him to help me, but so far my requests have fallen on deaf ears. My biggest issue isn't even really the flour, pasta and grains but it really bothers me when they eat endless amounts of junk like cotton candy, chocolates, cookies, etc.

My husband's excuse (albeit a sad one) is that he's not sure that paleo would work because of his bariactric surgery which he had just over 2 years ago, to cure his obesity problem. He is and has always been addicted to food. In one way it's great (the surgery that is), but in another he still gets to eat all his junk while not really gaining weight and my daughter is following in his footsteps.

I'm not really the cook due to the fact that I spend a lot of time in the gym and he looks after our daughter during the weeknights. On the weekends, we will share the load and then I can help to keep some junk out of my daughter's hands, and even though I will feed her a sandwich for lunch, at least it's not followed up by cookies or chocolates!!

My hubby on the other hand just thinks that I'm on this too for weight loss and just "stays out of it". He uses his surgery as the perfect crutch to hobble around on and won't even give it a try. I'm not sure what to do either but it's pretty darn difficult to figure this out.

ShannonKirton

Oh and when I say I'm the ONLY one on paleo, I mean it. No one else on my side, or hubby's side is anything near to paleo and no one even bothers to try and understand. Going to family dinners is a nightmare because no one even caters at least one dish for me. So every time we have a dinner/function I have to break my rules.

rotnkat

Oh and when I say I'm the ONLY one on paleo, I mean it. No one else on my side, or hubby's side is anything near to paleo and no one even bothers to try and understand. Going to family dinners is a nightmare because no one even caters at least one dish for me. So every time we have a dinner/function I have to break my rules.

In our house of four I'm the only one who eats Paleo/Primal, but I just cook want I want and add a non-paleo sidedish for the others. If they don't like it then tough, then they can fix themselves something else. But they seem to like 98% of the stuff I make!!!!!

When we go over other peoples houses I will bring a dish that I can eat as I just tell people that I have food allergies (which is true somewhat, I do have a wheat allergy) and I have never been told no. When we go out to eat I politely tell the server how I want my food prepared.

I am doing this for my health and I won't be side lined by nay sayers!!!!!!!! I'm never rude or a jerk to people, but I'm firm when I explain to people this is how I choose to eat!!!!

Good luck!!!

leighn62

I agreed with this philosophy. My husband has cut back on carbs in general and is noticing some weight loss. He is enjoying having things cooked in butter and bacon fat and occasionally he will join me in spaghetti sauce on spaghetti squash, but I think low pressure is the best way. That way he doesn't resent having my WOE pushed on him but gets some of the benefits because I do the cooking. I think over time he will move closer to a healthy lifestyle but never grain free.

Rei1988

After I discovered the awesomeness of paleo, I asked my husband very nicely if he would even consider joining me. His answer was unclear but his actions are definite. He refuses to give up his breads, sweets, junk etc and sadly enough he's dragging our daughter down with him.

I have voiced my concerns about our little one to him and asked him to help me, but so far my requests have fallen on deaf ears. My biggest issue isn't even really the flour, pasta and grains but it really bothers me when they eat endless amounts of junk like cotton candy, chocolates, cookies, etc.

My husband's excuse (albeit a sad one) is that he's not sure that paleo would work because of his bariactric surgery which he had just over 2 years ago, to cure his obesity problem. He is and has always been addicted to food. In one way it's great (the surgery that is), but in another he still gets to eat all his junk while not really gaining weight and my daughter is following in his footsteps.

I'm not really the cook due to the fact that I spend a lot of time in the gym and he looks after our daughter during the weeknights. On the weekends, we will share the load and then I can help to keep some junk out of my daughter's hands, and even though I will feed her a sandwich for lunch, at least it's not followed up by cookies or chocolates!!

My hubby on the other hand just thinks that I'm on this too for weight loss and just "stays out of it". He uses his surgery as the perfect crutch to hobble around on and won't even give it a try. I'm not sure what to do either but it's pretty darn difficult to figure this out.

My mom, friend, moms ex-bf & Aunty all had Bariatric surgery. Trust me he will gain the weight back if he continues to eat junk & stretch out his stomach. It's so sad to see the people you love come to that point. My mom lost weight, maybe 1/2 way to her goal then gained it all back Now she is considering going back for a second surgery!!! I hate it & really don't want her too She still eats low-fat, high protein & fake sugar **** like the doctor tells her. It's infuriating!

Also my sister has(no gall bladder now) diabetes, gout & diverticulitis. The doctors told her to eat more fiber & gave her pills -.-

redheadmommy

Wow, it seems my husband is actually better than most. He does not agree with the paleo, but at least do not encourage junk eating for the kids. He agrees that treats are only in moderation and we have to watch what we eat in front of our child(ren). Late evening when the kids are in bed it is a different story. Right now it is 9 pm , and he is watching TV and eating chips, like he does it every single night.
I used to envy him, because despite his junk eating he remains skinny fat, and I was always prone to obesity. Now I see that although he remains skinny , his health still suffers. He is a great guy and want him around for a long time. I just do not see that happening if his health deteriorate in this speed

BTW, my husband wasn't supportive our son gluten free diet at first. Our son had\have gross motor and speech delay. These were/are only moderate delays, so he was never considered SNI kid, but the delays were interfering with his social interactions. We started to work with speech therapist , physiotherapist and an occupation therapist 2 years ago. After a whole year of weekly therapy in each aspect, he still had moderate delays. All that extensive therapy did was prevent widening the gap between him and his peers, but the gap was not getting smaller in any areas. Last august I put him Gluten free, and he started talking a LOT more. During the last 12 months we had various childcare and living situation, which lead to gluten free weeks/months alternate with gluten eating periods. After a few time back and forth, even the most sceptic could see the pattern. We had official assessment in this June and our son no longer have any speech delay,YAY! He still have gross motor delay and balance issues, but that is the lesser problem.

ShaninKrinton: Maybe for you would be somewhat helping if you plan and partially prepare your weekly meals ahead of time on the weekend together. That way you could ensure the menu is at least semi healthy.

HaggisWhisperer

I have been following a primal type diet for about a year and a half (I started with the 4 hour body which is like paleo + legumes in order to lose weight) and over the past few months I have transitioned to a more primal diet (I'm still trying to lose weight). Anyway, my husband had not been interested in trying the diet - which is a shame as he is overweight with hypertension and there is a strong family history on his side for CVD. He also eats far too much sugar (fizzy pop and sweeties mostly) which he also does in front of the kids (age 6 and 8) which I dislike as it is hard to say - do as I say (and do [mostly]) not as your father does. For evening meals I would generally cook a primal type main course (curry, stir fried meat etc) and I would have it with stir fried veg and I would cook some rice or pasta for him. I did complain at him that it was extra work for me (I also work full time) but it had fallen on deaf ears - until 2 weeks ago when he announced he would eat the same evening meal as me So I finally feel we are making some progress. He still scoffs the sweeties and drinks his Irn Bru though, but it is a start. Feel free to add me if you need some moral support.

justaspoonfulofsugar

I have been following a primal type diet for about a year and a half (I started with the 4 hour body which is like paleo + legumes in order to lose weight) and over the past few months I have transitioned to a more primal diet (I'm still trying to lose weight). Anyway, my husband had not been interested in trying the diet - which is a shame as he is overweight with hypertension and there is a strong family history on his side for CVD. He also eats far too much sugar (fizzy pop and sweeties mostly) which he also does in front of the kids (age 6 and 8) which I dislike as it is hard to say - do as I say (and do [mostly]) not as your father does. For evening meals I would generally cook a primal type main course (curry, stir fried meat etc) and I would have it with stir fried veg and I would cook some rice or pasta for him. I did complain at him that it was extra work for me (I also work full time) but it had fallen on deaf ears - until 2 weeks ago when he announced he would eat the same evening meal as me So I finally feel we are making some progress. He still scoffs the sweeties and drinks his Irn Bru though, but it is a start. Feel free to add me if you need some moral support.

Just wanted to say how much I love your screen name,Haggis Whisperer!
How I miss Haggis since moving back to Canada.

ShannonKirton

I know that it is possible for my hubby to gain back his weight, and it worries me to no end! He was originally 309 and got all the way down to about 180. These days he's bordering the 190s which, yes is a lot better than 309 but I keep telling him, "just because you've lost the majority of your weight doesn't mean you're out of the woods. You can still have a heart attack or a stroke from all this unhealthy living." Simply put, it seems like I talk to walls.

Again, his biggest problem is that he is a food addict. If I take it away from him, he will leave his office on a working day to eat his food where I can't see him. He has "affairs" with food if you will. It is very distressing, but it seems to be something he cannot control. He had seen a Dr. about it but nothing we have done seems to work. I just don't wish my daughter to end up going down the same road.

My sister also worries me because she is also quite large and has two young girls running around. She is also a single mother. She doesn't like to do anything with her children and because she is so large, she finds them a hindrance and gets annoyed with them so quickly. It often seems to me like she just doesn't even want them around.

I just wish I could fix everyone around me

When hubby and I are on holiday in a few weeks, I will be doing most if not all of the cooking and food prep so I will have 2 weeks to make an impression on him. Here's hoping it works. I have no other avenues left.

HaggisWhisperer

Just wanted to say how much I love your screen name,Haggis Whisperer!
How I miss Haggis since moving back to Canada.

The depressing thing about haggis from the butcher is it still isn't Primal as it contains barley (although I do still have it sometimes). I suppose if I went out and caught my own it would probably qualify :bigsmile:

Kaelitr0n

Oh and when I say I'm the ONLY one on paleo, I mean it. No one else on my side, or hubby's side is anything near to paleo and no one even bothers to try and understand. Going to family dinners is a nightmare because no one even caters at least one dish for me. So every time we have a dinner/function I have to break my rules.

Could you bring some Paleo friendly stuff to these functions? I eat out to lunch sometimes with my department at work, but I pack a lunch along and explain to the wait staff that I have some pretty severe food allergies/restrictions and they generally don't care. I still tip like I ate their food.

Dragonwolf

My husband doesn't believe in the whole Paleo thing and he is not willing to try it out. He sees this whole paleo eating as my weight loss plan to lose the baby weight. He is the skinny fat type, so he think it is not for him. He also loves his pasta/pizza/ bread / pastry etc. We divided the housework the way that I do 100% of the cooking, meal preparation, grocery shopping, so i have a great control over what everybody eats. I cook paleo( well primal) dinner every night and depending on what is the dinner, he may get a nonpaleo side. For example i make burger which i eat with salad , and letture wrap, and he get his bun. Or I make pasta sauce / stew which I eat with spaghetti squash or veggie noodles and I make gluten free pasta for him and my son.

Your agreement puts you in full control of the food, which means you could do one of two things: 1. "Forget" to buy the crap he eats and/or "forget" to make the non-paleo sides (not necessarily all the time, but this one's good especially for phasing junk food out of the house), or 2. simply put your foot down and say "I'm not buying it, I'm not making it, if you want it, you're a big boy, go get it yourself." Either way forces him to at least occasionally try the foods you have, which will likely open him up to the foods you eat.

Another option is to challenge him. Many guys have an Alpha streak in them and will do whatever they can to prove you wrong. So make a bet that he can't eat the way you do for a whole month. And make it worthwhile, too. I saw a comment one time about how a couple - one Paleo, one not - made a bet that the non-Paleo wouldn't be able to stick with it for a month, and the Paleo one would get a big-screen TV as a reward if the non-Paleo failed. The former non-Paleo spouse realized just how much better they felt and stuck with it and was completely converted!

If none of the above work, then the best you can do is make substitutes and have him try them. My husband was the same way (in large part because of his dad) in the whole "you can take my bread/pizza/pasta when you pry it from my cold, dead hands," thing, but he doesn't even miss spaghetti, because we could replace it with spaghetti squash and he absolutely loves it. He also realizes he likes lettuce wrapping burgers, or just eating them without a bun at all. Pizza's a harder battle, because the gluten free and paleo options don't really compare to the tastes/textures of traditional pizza, but we compromise by trying to keep it to minimum and an agreement to be open to trying new ways of making it.

ShannonKirton

Oh and when I say I'm the ONLY one on paleo, I mean it. No one else on my side, or hubby's side is anything near to paleo and no one even bothers to try and understand. Going to family dinners is a nightmare because no one even caters at least one dish for me. So every time we have a dinner/function I have to break my rules.

Could you bring some Paleo friendly stuff to these functions? I eat out to lunch sometimes with my department at work, but I pack a lunch along and explain to the wait staff that I have some pretty severe food allergies/restrictions and they generally don't care. I still tip like I ate their food.

Well usually it's not going out that's the problem, but when we are all invited to say Christmas dinner/lunch where all the food has been made already. I will have no choice but to start walking with some food. Only other option is to just relent for one day and enjoy the usual spoils. During the rest of the year it's a different story though because it's not special food which you only get once a year, so I now normally walk with my own. Sometimes I get the weird looks, but at least I know that I'm doing what is best for me.

Dragonwolf

Oh and when I say I'm the ONLY one on paleo, I mean it. No one else on my side, or hubby's side is anything near to paleo and no one even bothers to try and understand. Going to family dinners is a nightmare because no one even caters at least one dish for me. So every time we have a dinner/function I have to break my rules.

Could you bring some Paleo friendly stuff to these functions? I eat out to lunch sometimes with my department at work, but I pack a lunch along and explain to the wait staff that I have some pretty severe food allergies/restrictions and they generally don't care. I still tip like I ate their food.

Well usually it's not going out that's the problem, but when we are all invited to say Christmas dinner/lunch where all the food has been made already. I will have no choice but to start walking with some food. Only other option is to just relent for one day and enjoy the usual spoils. During the rest of the year it's a different story though because it's not special food which you only get once a year, so I now normally walk with my own. Sometimes I get the weird looks, but at least I know that I'm doing what is best for me.

"Hey, I'd like to contribute a dish to the dinner. Feel free to leave the [insert dish category here] to me!"

Akimajuktuq

You are handling your difficult situation very well. Much better than I ever could. I've been single so long and my Paleo lifestyle is so important to me that I don't think I could compromise at all with someone choosing to be sick and eating crap food in the same house. I'd rather just stay single.

The best thing to do is remain the meal planner/preparer and just keep setting the example. You cannot control him and you don't really have the right to. If, hopefully when, he gets sick of being sick he might finally come around. However, if he does he must understand that Paleo does NOT work at only 50% effort. My aunt took some of my advice, ignored the rest, and as a result now runs around saying that Paleo made her "worse". It's heart-breaking that she refuses to help herself but I have no power to change her. I'll just keep focusing on what I am doing.

You should give some tough love to your sister regarding how she is treating her children. Being a single mom is hard but abuse is abuse (it's not just hitting that is abusive). I've had some loved ones call me out on my behaviour and it was a blessing. I'm still nowhere near the mom that I should be but at least I'm aware and assess what I am doing all the time. I'm always apologizing and telling my little one I love her. It's not her fault that Mommy is a type A personality spaz. I have to keep calling myself out too. Your sister is going to freak when you step in, but when children are involved, it IS everyone's business to intercede, especially other family. The damage our parents do to us, even unintentionally, lasts a lifetime. Please, step in.

ShannonKirton

Oh and when I say I'm the ONLY one on paleo, I mean it. No one else on my side, or hubby's side is anything near to paleo and no one even bothers to try and understand. Going to family dinners is a nightmare because no one even caters at least one dish for me. So every time we have a dinner/function I have to break my rules.

Could you bring some Paleo friendly stuff to these functions? I eat out to lunch sometimes with my department at work, but I pack a lunch along and explain to the wait staff that I have some pretty severe food allergies/restrictions and they generally don't care. I still tip like I ate their food.

Well usually it's not going out that's the problem, but when we are all invited to say Christmas dinner/lunch where all the food has been made already. I will have no choice but to start walking with some food. Only other option is to just relent for one day and enjoy the usual spoils. During the rest of the year it's a different story though because it's not special food which you only get once a year, so I now normally walk with my own. Sometimes I get the weird looks, but at least I know that I'm doing what is best for me.

"Hey, I'd like to contribute a dish to the dinner. Feel free to leave the [insert dish category here] to me!"

I thought about that but I usually get handed a dish that is not paleo, which usually is fine by me because I can still usually make the dish without tasting it, and I understand that not everyone is willing to eat something they see as "yucky" for whatever reason. But in future I will definitely volunteer to bring something that I can make and keep it everyone friendly (myself included).

ShannonKirton

You are handling your difficult situation very well. Much better than I ever could. I've been single so long and my Paleo lifestyle is so important to me that I don't think I could compromise at all with someone choosing to be sick and eating crap food in the same house. I'd rather just stay single.

The best thing to do is remain the meal planner/preparer and just keep setting the example. You cannot control him and you don't really have the right to. If, hopefully when, he gets sick of being sick he might finally come around. However, if he does he must understand that Paleo does NOT work at only 50% effort. My aunt took some of my advice, ignored the rest, and as a result now runs around saying that Paleo made her "worse". It's heart-breaking that she refuses to help herself but I have no power to change her. I'll just keep focusing on what I am doing.

You should give some tough love to your sister regarding how she is treating her children. Being a single mom is hard but abuse is abuse (it's not just hitting that is abusive). I've had some loved ones call me out on my behaviour and it was a blessing. I'm still nowhere near the mom that I should be but at least I'm aware and assess what I am doing all the time. I'm always apologizing and telling my little one I love her. It's not her fault that Mommy is a type A personality spaz. I have to keep calling myself out too. Your sister is going to freak when you step in, but when children are involved, it IS everyone's business to intercede, especially other family. The damage our parents do to us, even unintentionally, lasts a lifetime. Please, step in.

I'm sorry to hear that your Aunt didn't really give paleo a fair shot. I think my husband MAY be coming around to the idea of trying paleo even if it's a few dishes off and on for a little while. He is definitely not one to jump straight into something head first like me. But hopefully when we're on vacation I can open his eyes to the joy!!!!

As for my sister, we have tried to settle her down before and we often try to get the kids out of the house when we can, but it's just the way she is. I think she's just so miserable with herself she just wants to be miserable with everyone else. Don't get me wrong she is a loving mother so her girls, but her child care just comes across as lazy sometimes. For instance, she won't get up to get something for her girls right away so it's always "next time I get up. Just give Mum a few minutes".

I just wish I could shake some sense into her. She gives up on her "diets" so easily too. She gets a week in (if that far) and then complains about all the headaches and sleepyness, she refuses to give up her diet coke which is killing her from the inside, and she won't even consider exercise. I bought her some sneakers about 2 years ago and she's used them maybe twice. Some days I just want to sit down and cry for the people in my life who just refuse to be helped.

Akimajuktuq

You are handling your difficult situation very well. Much better than I ever could. I've been single so long and my Paleo lifestyle is so important to me that I don't think I could compromise at all with someone choosing to be sick and eating crap food in the same house. I'd rather just stay single.

The best thing to do is remain the meal planner/preparer and just keep setting the example. You cannot control him and you don't really have the right to. If, hopefully when, he gets sick of being sick he might finally come around. However, if he does he must understand that Paleo does NOT work at only 50% effort. My aunt took some of my advice, ignored the rest, and as a result now runs around saying that Paleo made her "worse". It's heart-breaking that she refuses to help herself but I have no power to change her. I'll just keep focusing on what I am doing.

You should give some tough love to your sister regarding how she is treating her children. Being a single mom is hard but abuse is abuse (it's not just hitting that is abusive). I've had some loved ones call me out on my behaviour and it was a blessing. I'm still nowhere near the mom that I should be but at least I'm aware and assess what I am doing all the time. I'm always apologizing and telling my little one I love her. It's not her fault that Mommy is a type A personality spaz. I have to keep calling myself out too. Your sister is going to freak when you step in, but when children are involved, it IS everyone's business to intercede, especially other family. The damage our parents do to us, even unintentionally, lasts a lifetime. Please, step in.

I'm sorry to hear that your Aunt didn't really give paleo a fair shot. I think my husband MAY be coming around to the idea of trying paleo even if it's a few dishes off and on for a little while. He is definitely not one to jump straight into something head first like me. But hopefully when we're on vacation I can open his eyes to the joy!!!!

As for my sister, we have tried to settle her down before and we often try to get the kids out of the house when we can, but it's just the way she is. I think she's just so miserable with herself she just wants to be miserable with everyone else. Don't get me wrong she is a loving mother so her girls, but her child care just comes across as lazy sometimes. For instance, she won't get up to get something for her girls right away so it's always "next time I get up. Just give Mum a few minutes".

I just wish I could shake some sense into her. She gives up on her "diets" so easily too. She gets a week in (if that far) and then complains about all the headaches and sleepyness, she refuses to give up her diet coke which is killing her from the inside, and she won't even consider exercise. I bought her some sneakers about 2 years ago and she's used them maybe twice. Some days I just want to sit down and cry for the people in my life who just refuse to be helped.

The most heart-breaking thing about my Aunt is that she actually is trying quite hard. She has been morbidly obese all of her life and still is. Her joints are now destroyed and at age 56 she is almost completely crippled with arthritis. She takes responsibility that her weight hurt her joints but she just refuses to believe that she CAN do something about it. She thinks it's too late and that it was unavoidable because it "runs in the family"-yeah cuz all our family eats wheat/sugar based junk. She barely eats 800 calories per day (I've been with her for extended times and I'm very observant) and she avoids fat like the plague. While she does eat adequate lean proteins, she gets far too carried away with fruit and even veggies. She refuses to put any fat on the mountains of veggies; yup salads with no dressing. Gag. She also "only" has bread a few times per month (but it's the butter or cheese on it that she chides herself for), then there's pizza or other things on occasion (not often and not huge portions). And another biggie: skim milk every single day.

Seriously, she is NOT over eating but she is avoiding fat and I think her metabolism is destroyed from such prolonged under-eating. She admits to not getting enough exercise, but doesn't understand that eating less will not equal more weight loss. No matter what I do, I can't get through to her that the grain and milk have to go permanently and that she NEEDS fat. Of course, she's seeing a doctor that keeps harping on her that she can't have her much needed knee surgery until she loses weight and you know the kind of advice she is getting there. So she keeps popping pills, starving herself, avoiding fat, and filling up with the skim milk, veggies and fruit. And the surgery and pills are the only thing she thinks that will help her. It's just hereditary after all. For some reason, the total resolution of my joint disease just doesn't seem relevant to her.

Dragonwolf

Oh and when I say I'm the ONLY one on paleo, I mean it. No one else on my side, or hubby's side is anything near to paleo and no one even bothers to try and understand. Going to family dinners is a nightmare because no one even caters at least one dish for me. So every time we have a dinner/function I have to break my rules.

Could you bring some Paleo friendly stuff to these functions? I eat out to lunch sometimes with my department at work, but I pack a lunch along and explain to the wait staff that I have some pretty severe food allergies/restrictions and they generally don't care. I still tip like I ate their food.

Well usually it's not going out that's the problem, but when we are all invited to say Christmas dinner/lunch where all the food has been made already. I will have no choice but to start walking with some food. Only other option is to just relent for one day and enjoy the usual spoils. During the rest of the year it's a different story though because it's not special food which you only get once a year, so I now normally walk with my own. Sometimes I get the weird looks, but at least I know that I'm doing what is best for me.

"Hey, I'd like to contribute a dish to the dinner. Feel free to leave the [insert dish category here] to me!"

I thought about that but I usually get handed a dish that is not paleo, which usually is fine by me because I can still usually make the dish without tasting it, and I understand that not everyone is willing to eat something they see as "yucky" for whatever reason. But in future I will definitely volunteer to bring something that I can make and keep it everyone friendly (myself included).

Most dishes can be made to be Paleo, with a few clever substitutions (yes, even brownies can be Paleo-ified). So even if it doesn't start out that way, a little searching and you can likely find it, if you have to make a particular dish. It's not ideal, but it's great for just such gatherings.

ShannonKirton

The most heart-breaking thing about my Aunt is that she actually is trying quite hard. She has been morbidly obese all of her life and still is. Her joints are now destroyed and at age 56 she is almost completely crippled with arthritis. She takes responsibility that her weight hurt her joints but she just refuses to believe that she CAN do something about it. She thinks it's too late and that it was unavoidable because it "runs in the family"-yeah cuz all our family eats wheat/sugar based junk. She barely eats 800 calories per day (I've been with her for extended times and I'm very observant) and she avoids fat like the plague. While she does eat adequate lean proteins, she gets far too carried away with fruit and even veggies. She refuses to put any fat on the mountains of veggies; yup salads with no dressing. Gag. She also "only" has bread a few times per month (but it's the butter or cheese on it that she chides herself for), then there's pizza or other things on occasion (not often and not huge portions). And another biggie: skim milk every single day.

Seriously, she is NOT over eating but she is avoiding fat and I think her metabolism is destroyed from such prolonged under-eating. She admits to not getting enough exercise, but doesn't understand that eating less will not equal more weight loss. No matter what I do, I can't get through to her that the grain and milk have to go permanently and that she NEEDS fat. Of course, she's seeing a doctor that keeps harping on her that she can't have her much needed knee surgery until she loses weight and you know the kind of advice she is getting there. So she keeps popping pills, starving herself, avoiding fat, and filling up with the skim milk, veggies and fruit. And the surgery and pills are the only thing she thinks that will help her. It's just hereditary after all. For some reason, the total resolution of my joint disease just doesn't seem relevant to her.

I'm sorry to hear of her troubles

I know that it took a leap of faith for me to believe that actually eating fats was going to help me lose, but in the end when I look at where I've come from, I can't believe I didn't know about paleo sooner! I wish you aunt would understand that we need to eat the right fat in order to get rid of the wrong fat. I guess its like "you need to spend money to make money".

Everything about paleo makes so much sense to us that I guess sometimes its really hard to understand or remember why people are they way that they are right now. It's a lifetime of being told one thing and then discovering it was all lies. It's very hard to drop and I wish it was as easy to switch my family. The only person close to me that shares anything to do with paleo is my mum. She is gluten free due to some health issues she had in the past, but realizes how great it feels to be off of the majority of grains and the like. She is not as strict as I am, but generally follows a very good plan.

Maybe people in out families (husbands, wives, aunts, uncles etc) are just unwilling and unable to be helped. It saddens me when I see my husband and my child eating badly, and I wish I could do it all, the cooking, the shopping, everything! My job and my dedication to fitness hinder me in that department quite a bit, but I am grateful that my husband steps up to encourage me in my healthy lifestyle, and also by taking on these tasks. I just wish that if nothing else, he would join me in my paleo world where I know he would at least get the best out of his food. That way I can change my daughter for the better now too.

nellyett

After I discovered the awesomeness of paleo, I asked my husband very nicely if he would even consider joining me. His answer was unclear but his actions are definite. He refuses to give up his breads, sweets, junk etc and sadly enough he's dragging our daughter down with him.

I have voiced my concerns about our little one to him and asked him to help me, but so far my requests have fallen on deaf ears. My biggest issue isn't even really the flour, pasta and grains but it really bothers me when they eat endless amounts of junk like cotton candy, chocolates, cookies, etc.

Fortunately my husband is fully on board with the Primal lifestyle and is loving it as much as I am. My 8 year old daughter however, is not. LOL

What I'm constantly doing which drives her crazy is harping on her about protein. Since she is a somewhat picky eater, I always have her 'choose her protein' first if she's not eating the protein we are. for example....does she want eggs? or ham / turkey slices, chicken, fish, whatever I have as options. Then, I choose the sides.

I don't want to ban sugary or sweet things as I fear that doing so will make them a bigger deal to her later on, but I will make her aware that if she has 'A' now, then she will forfeit 'B' later. That there is only one treat per day type thing.

Also, she thinks it's pretty cool to use the scale to figure out serving sizes. I have her read the label for cereal, dried mango, gummies, whatever and ask her to weigh or count out a serving size. She's always disappointed by how small it really is!! haha

I figure giving her an awareness of what she is eating is at least a decent start. As she gets older and wants ot focus on feeling better, looking healthy, etc. then she may be inspired to go Primal. We talk about the benefits in front of her all the time so I'm sure it won't be much of a stretch for her in a few years.

Dragonwolf

After I discovered the awesomeness of paleo, I asked my husband very nicely if he would even consider joining me. His answer was unclear but his actions are definite. He refuses to give up his breads, sweets, junk etc and sadly enough he's dragging our daughter down with him.

I have voiced my concerns about our little one to him and asked him to help me, but so far my requests have fallen on deaf ears. My biggest issue isn't even really the flour, pasta and grains but it really bothers me when they eat endless amounts of junk like cotton candy, chocolates, cookies, etc.

Fortunately my husband is fully on board with the Primal lifestyle and is loving it as much as I am. My 8 year old daughter however, is not. LOL

What I'm constantly doing which drives her crazy is harping on her about protein. Since she is a somewhat picky eater, I always have her 'choose her protein' first if she's not eating the protein we are. for example....does she want eggs? or ham / turkey slices, chicken, fish, whatever I have as options. Then, I choose the sides.

I don't want to ban sugary or sweet things as I fear that doing so will make them a bigger deal to her later on, but I will make her aware that if she has 'A' now, then she will forfeit 'B' later. That there is only one treat per day type thing.

Also, she thinks it's pretty cool to use the scale to figure out serving sizes. I have her read the label for cereal, dried mango, gummies, whatever and ask her to weigh or count out a serving size. She's always disappointed by how small it really is!! haha

I figure giving her an awareness of what she is eating is at least a decent start. As she gets older and wants ot focus on feeling better, looking healthy, etc. then she may be inspired to go Primal. We talk about the benefits in front of her all the time so I'm sure it won't be much of a stretch for her in a few years.

That's awesome. What might also help is making Paleo/Primal-friendly treats. There are some pretty awesome recipes for things like brownies and whatnot. Perhaps doing that (and getting her used to things tasting a certain way) will make her less likely to want the processed/wheat versions, as well.

Akimajuktuq

After I discovered the awesomeness of paleo, I asked my husband very nicely if he would even consider joining me. His answer was unclear but his actions are definite. He refuses to give up his breads, sweets, junk etc and sadly enough he's dragging our daughter down with him.

I have voiced my concerns about our little one to him and asked him to help me, but so far my requests have fallen on deaf ears. My biggest issue isn't even really the flour, pasta and grains but it really bothers me when they eat endless amounts of junk like cotton candy, chocolates, cookies, etc.

Fortunately my husband is fully on board with the Primal lifestyle and is loving it as much as I am. My 8 year old daughter however, is not. LOL

What I'm constantly doing which drives her crazy is harping on her about protein. Since she is a somewhat picky eater, I always have her 'choose her protein' first if she's not eating the protein we are. for example....does she want eggs? or ham / turkey slices, chicken, fish, whatever I have as options. Then, I choose the sides.

I don't want to ban sugary or sweet things as I fear that doing so will make them a bigger deal to her later on, but I will make her aware that if she has 'A' now, then she will forfeit 'B' later. That there is only one treat per day type thing.

Also, she thinks it's pretty cool to use the scale to figure out serving sizes. I have her read the label for cereal, dried mango, gummies, whatever and ask her to weigh or count out a serving size. She's always disappointed by how small it really is!! haha

I figure giving her an awareness of what she is eating is at least a decent start. As she gets older and wants ot focus on feeling better, looking healthy, etc. then she may be inspired to go Primal. We talk about the benefits in front of her all the time so I'm sure it won't be much of a stretch for her in a few years.

You are not hurting your child if you "ban" unhealthy foods. Quite the opposite. My child is only 5 but she gets a $10 weekly allowance, $4 of which she must save and $6 with which she can buy "treats". In my town $6 will only buy 2 things (ie small bag chips, choc bar, ice cream bar, etc-I live in the Arctic) and even with that $6 she has rules. For instance, no slushies, certain jerky, gum with artificial sweeteners, etc.

Also, I make her healthy treats at home. Homemade granola bars can be made with very little sweetening (dates or honey or maple syrup) and while not healthy for me, are ok for her one serving per day. Instead of cereal, I make her a smoothie every morning, which she LOVES.

I fully expect that when she grows up and moves out she will go crazy on all the foods that I didn't let her have. However, when she gets sick or has finally had her fill of junk, she will have all the knowledge that she needs to know how to eat healthy, especially in a world where we are completely lied to about what IS healthy.

However, I do think 8 is a bit young to focus on weighing foods and being concerned about calories. My best advice is to only supply healthy food in the house, limit the higher sugar natural foods to just a couple servings, but other than that she should eat as much as she needs of whole, unprocessed foods.

redheadmommy

Your agreement puts you in full control of the food, which means you could do one of two things: 1. "Forget" to buy the crap he eats and/or "forget" to make the non-paleo sides (not necessarily all the time, but this one's good especially for phasing junk food out of the house), or 2. simply put your foot down and say "I'm not buying it, I'm not making it, if you want it, you're a big boy, go get it yourself." Either way forces him to at least occasionally try the foods you have, which will likely open him up to the foods you eat.

I do not really want to fight over food, it doesn't worth it. I rather slowly replacing one item a time without bringing it to their attention. I am sneaky ! He is the sole money maker in our household. He salary pays the bills, my tuition for grad school , the daycare so I can go to gradschool end everything else. Plus he helps out a lot in housework and spend a tons of times with the kids. I think it would be totally unfair from me if I refuse to buy him what he specifically ask for. After all he is a grown man and can make his own decisions , which I have to respect even if I do not agree with it. He doesn't drink soda at home, no candy, no chocolate, only chips/popcorn, occasional cookies and icecream . With a conventional view , he eats rather healthy , minus the evening chips.
Actually I am ok with the dinner situation for now. During the last year, I switched all the pasta/macaroni/ spaghetti product to gluten free. It made with corn, which is not the good , but the rice based once were so bad, they refuse to eat it. They eat it once a week only. I found a great local company (Kinninick) , which makes bread,tortilla, hamburger/hot dog buns, pizza crust from rice/tapioca flour. Those are the most harmless grains , so I am ok with it.

Right now I focus on the breakfast and the treats. All my husband health problem seems to relate to uric acid: kidney stones, gout. What I read the fructose consumption is the problem, mainly the high fructose corn syrup. My husband favorite breakfast is pastry, mainly muffins, which are just full of that stuff. This is why I started to experimenting with almond flour muffins. I have a great base recipe, and I just use different flavours to make it different. Right now lemon poppy seed, cranberry orange and chocolate chip-walnuts are the biggest hit. I just baked 36 muffins on Saturday and froze them in pack of 6. We will see how it goes during the month but I may just solved the breakfast problem.

geisharunner219

Any time I try a "diet" my husband is always supportive but never participates. But I have to say, Paleo does seem more like a life style than a diet. Hubby has no interest in going Paleo right now and most of that is because of money. He is a stay at home dad right now and is suffering from a back injury so it's just my income. No lie, money is tight. And lets be honest, the crappy processed stuff is cheaper. He'd rather eat processed Mac and Cheese because it's $1 instead of a healthier and more expensive alternative. I totally understand and it's a crappy position for us to be in. But I'm hoping between my weight loss, health improvements, and hopefully a promotion down the road - he'll see it and believe it! Then we can be one big happy paleo family!

Akimajuktuq

Any time I try a "diet" my husband is always supportive but never participates. But I have to say, Paleo does seem more like a life style than a diet. Hubby has no interest in going Paleo right now and most of that is because of money. He is a stay at home dad right now and is suffering from a back injury so it's just my income. No lie, money is tight. And lets be honest, the crappy processed stuff is cheaper. He'd rather eat processed Mac and Cheese because it's $1 instead of a healthier and more expensive alternative. I totally understand and it's a crappy position for us to be in. But I'm hoping between my weight loss, health improvements, and hopefully a promotion down the road - he'll see it and believe it! Then we can be one big happy paleo family!

I live in the Arctic and food is expensive, really really expensive. And everything in our local store is junk. I spend more money per item now, but I eat far less. I am saving 10-20% even though I am eating more expensive food. If I lived in the south, I would make friends with all of my local farmers. I would grow a garden if possible. Whatever it takes. Here I choose to eat wild meat when I can get it, but I did that before too so it's not where the savings are coming from.

When looking at food cost, all factors should be considered: food and health. Most Paleo people don't require a lot of meds etc. I have kept track of every cent that I spend for 3 years so I wouldn't have believed that I am spending less, even with flying in lots of food, except that it's right there in black and white. There are better choices than just fast food burger VS prime rib (for example). A person can eat healthy on a budget it just might take a bit of trial and error and lots of research and networking.

Dragonwolf

Any time I try a "diet" my husband is always supportive but never participates. But I have to say, Paleo does seem more like a life style than a diet. Hubby has no interest in going Paleo right now and most of that is because of money. He is a stay at home dad right now and is suffering from a back injury so it's just my income. No lie, money is tight. And lets be honest, the crappy processed stuff is cheaper. He'd rather eat processed Mac and Cheese because it's $1 instead of a healthier and more expensive alternative. I totally understand and it's a crappy position for us to be in. But I'm hoping between my weight loss, health improvements, and hopefully a promotion down the road - he'll see it and believe it! Then we can be one big happy paleo family!

I live in the Arctic and food is expensive, really really expensive. And everything in our local store is junk. I spend more money per item now, but I eat far less. I am saving 10-20% even though I am eating more expensive food. If I lived in the south, I would make friends with all of my local farmers. I would grow a garden if possible. Whatever it takes. Here I choose to eat wild meat when I can get it, but I did that before too so it's not where the savings are coming from.

When looking at food cost, all factors should be considered: food and health. Most Paleo people don't require a lot of meds etc. I have kept track of every cent that I spend for 3 years so I wouldn't have believed that I am spending less, even with flying in lots of food, except that it's right there in black and white. There are better choices than just fast food burger VS prime rib (for example). A person can eat healthy on a budget it just might take a bit of trial and error and lots of research and networking.

This.

Also, that $1 box of macaroni probably won't satisfy most people for very long. I personally remember polishing a box off by myself on a regular basis and still feeling hungry.

redheadmommy

I think paleo IS freaking expensive. If you used to eat processed store bought food , you may not feel it because you used to pay for the meal making too. However I used to cook daily basis years and years before paleo. Pasta ,beans, lentils are dirt cheap compared to organic grass fed beef over organic veggies. My grocery bill significantly increased. I also live in north and I spend $500 monthly on produce alone.