So ashamed of myself
enchantedgardener
Posts: 214 Member
I can't believe what I just did. I feel so ashamed of myself.
I was feeling horrible and stressed and frustrated at work, so I wolfed down one large white chocolate brownie and one large custard tart. Now, that may not sound like a lot of food, but the desserts we serve at my restaurant are huge. I'm guessing I consumed about 2500 calories in less than 10 minutes. I felt nauseated and so mad at myself.
This was just before I left work and headed home. And I did nothing but berate myself silently the whole way here.
Once I got home I purged. I can't believe it. I haven't done that in over 10 years. I feel so ashamed of myself. I don't know which I regret more, the binging or the purging. I am so upset with myself for what I've done.
I was feeling horrible and stressed and frustrated at work, so I wolfed down one large white chocolate brownie and one large custard tart. Now, that may not sound like a lot of food, but the desserts we serve at my restaurant are huge. I'm guessing I consumed about 2500 calories in less than 10 minutes. I felt nauseated and so mad at myself.
This was just before I left work and headed home. And I did nothing but berate myself silently the whole way here.
Once I got home I purged. I can't believe it. I haven't done that in over 10 years. I feel so ashamed of myself. I don't know which I regret more, the binging or the purging. I am so upset with myself for what I've done.
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Replies
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Hi, I'm Lyn. I'm a binge-eater. I started using MFP on 10/1, and I went 6 days until I binged last night. I was SO stressed about life, work, etc...very upset about some things. I so wanted to do this MFP perfectly, not binge again - so after only 6 days you can imagine how upset I was. I nearly thought I would have an anxiety attack. This isn't about me, though - it's about you. I just wanted you to know I could relate. I know how it is to be mad at yourself like that, I've had problems with emotional and binge eating for over 10 years. Yesterday is yesterday though. Now is *not* the time to give up! I tell myself, to fall off the wagon one day is better than getting off permanently. Give yourself 5 minutes to be mad about it, think about it, analyze it - then say "OK, that's it. It happened. I've thought about it." Put it in a box mentally and shelf it. Don't let it consume you today or tomorrow or a year from now. I know you're upset, but there's no point in being so right now as long as you keep trying moving forward - that's all that matters! The storm has passed.
You're going to be OK. You're human. I believe in you 100%.0
