Socially struggling

SweetSailor

I'm getting a reputation for being a bit of a fanatic in my social circle. I'm pretty good about getting my girlfriends together for a hike or a yoga class and brunch (seems to be the easiest meal for me to eat clean in restaurants). We live in San Francisco and there are plenty of ways to be clean, but sometimes I feel extreme pressure to participate in evening festivities in bars or clubs. At the risk of sounding like my friends need twelve steps, or that I do, I tend to avoid social invites that seem to have a focus on alcohol.

Standing in a bar watching a friend's band play and drinking water sounds excruciating to me when I can be home under a blanket with my dog, my husband (who's sober), some tea and knitting. (Mom, I'm finally the person you wanted me to be as a teenager)

Well I've started to notice now my husband and I are drifting away from some friends socially because we've been flying under the radar.

Anyone have some clever or wise advice regarding this?

_Waffle_

If your happiness with these friends is focused around what you eat or drink then I submit that they're not real friends. I was at a karaoke bar this weekend, didn't have a drop of alcohol and had a lot of fun with these people.

EDIT: There's nothing wrong with alcohol. I just had a race the next morning. It isn't "clean" to abstain from it.

SweetSailor

I suppose that's something to think about, for sure. I think a lot of friendships are built on socially eating and drinking, but admittedly that's two of my favorite hobbies.

I guess it's better to show up and leave early than not go at all, so I've been trying that. Also, I need to evaluate the fact that some of my friends go hard. Alcohol sugars in the blood stream certainly helps keep one awake.

While I know abstaining from alcohol isn't everyone's version of clean, and I do occasionally drink, my current state of things I do have to abstain completely. I figured in this particular group there may be more people who might have experience with this. So avoided the main topic forum with a topic such as this.

Also, awesome doing karaoke, that's absolutely the one activity I couldn't do sober if you paid me.

_Waffle_

I guess it's better to show up and leave early than not go at all, so I've been trying that. Also, I need to evaluate the fact that some of my friends go hard. Alcohol sugars in the blood stream certainly helps keep one awake.

I left quite a bit before the rest of the group did. I think they still enjoyed that I came out and spent time with them. Your time is the most valuable commodity and people see that. Don't worry if you can't invest as much as they do. Just go out, have fun, and do what you can.

Kymmu

Maybe try to find additional like minded friends to fill your time with?
We can always use more friends for different pastimes- movie friends, exercise friends, craft friends ( knitting) .
Stay social!

mamarundrc

It sounds like to me that you and your friends are at different places in your lives. This has happened with me and a lot of my friends. We used to go out to eat all the time and go to the movies and grab drinks. The truth of the matter is most of the foods I can find out I can make cheaper, cleaner/healthier, and taste the same or better. I have found that the last few times I have gone out to a restaurant I have felt horrible afterwards because I just don't eat like that anymore.

You can always do something for the group at your place. That way you can see your friends, make a meal you want to eat, offer alcohol to those who might want it and then you can still snuggle up with your dogs and even do your knitting (my friends are amused by my multi-tasking).

Growing apart from friends is natural. People change, interests change. Just roll with it and you will be fine, you might even find new friends that have more common interest and have a similar idea of what a nice Friday night looks like.

SweetSailor

You can always do something for the group at your place. That way you can see your friends, make a meal you want to eat, offer alcohol to those who might want it and then you can still snuggle up with your dogs and even do your knitting (my friends are amused by my multi-tasking).

Love this! I just invited a group over to carve pumpkins this weekend.