My Hubby isn't fully on board for Paleo- need suggestions!

Anonymity

I started doing paleo ~3wks ago (didn't cut dairy as I'm not lactose intolerant). My hubby is on board to eat what I make/cook, BUT he refuses to give up his junk food sweets (like chocolates/oreos). I've asked him to take it to work - not that I want him eating it, but better not available for me in a frail moment. He said he wouldn't take it to work and it's 'good for me' to have it there and resist- this is BS....it's more like a ticking time bomb!! So far I've resisted, but the sheer knowledge that ores (etc) are available makes me think about them...which is not good.

I have made paleo desserts, like coconut cashew cookies, coconut ice cream, and other 'sweets' like pumpkin bread...but he is unwilling to give up the processed junk. In my opinion he's totally addicted to carbs- he eats desserts/candies every night. I indulge in dark chocolate or paleo treats, while it's not every night it's still probably more frequent than I should b/c it's so hard to see him indulge and abstain from them (esp in evenings).

Does anyone else have spouse who's not into paleo- or a healthy lifestyle? Anyone have any strategies? This is making it really difficult for me that he and I are not a total team on this one...

Dragonwolf

First, patience. As he starts eating Paleo more, he'll likely start realizing how the junk food makes him feel and start cutting back on his own. It'll take time, though. You'll also start losing interest in the crap foods after a while, and they won't be such a temptation (trust me, they're not as good as you remember them after you've acclimated to Paleo foods).

Second, see if you can work out a compromise regarding the trigger foods. Have a "snack cupboard" that you don't go into generally, where he can keep what he wants. Keeping them out of sight, out of mind helps tremendously.

Also, explain to him that willpower is a finite resource (particularly when we're hungry or dealing with sugar cravings), and that you'd rather spend your energy on other things besides trying not to eat those Oreos, at least for now. Perhaps at a later time, when you've settled into your new routine and no longer have a desire to eat Oreos, you can reintroduce them, but see if he'll be willing to keep them out of the house for a little while. (The idea of it being a temporary request, as opposed to a permanent one, is an easier pill for people to swallow.)

It might also help to ask him if he'd do the same thing if you were an alcoholic, and the Oreos were beer, just to get him thinking about the absurdity of that statement. (Seriously, who in their right mind would say something like "it's good for you to keep booze in the house and not drink it" to an alcoholic?)

husseycd

Even though I'm not trying to lose weight, I'm one that can't have easy access to junk like crackers or chocolate covered pretzels my husband brought home the other night. Grrr...

I just put them up high, out of sight for me. Even though I've been eating this way for a while, one chocolate covered pretzel quickly turns into 4 and I'm struggling not to eat more. Same with the cheese-its strangely enough. Better that I never have them at all.

spatulathumbs

Battles about food are very, very rarely *really* about the food. They're about control, or fear, or any number of other root emotions. If you tell your husband: "Honey, my health and this new way of eating is important to me. If would help me out if you took your snacks to work where I can't see them." And he turns around and refuses to do that, well, then it's not really about the food. That's a respect issue. As if he knows better than you do what's "good for you" to do. That's... pretty damn arrogant. And it's disrespectful.

As much as it is ideal to be a team on a major lifestyle change like this, ultimately, you cannot control what other people eat. They have the right to decide what to put into their bodies, as do you. But the way they do it makes a huge difference. My husband eats what I cook, and will sometimes supplement it with additional things to get something more to his preference. His body, his choice. I've also lost almost 10 lbs since I started and he's lost zero. So it's not like he doesn't understand nutrition, he just eats the way he wants.

Just from what little experience I have gleaned, and what I've read around the web, if you are still thinking about certain types of food cravings and fixated on them to the degree where even having them in the house is too much, that sounds to me like you might not be getting adequate nutrition, vitamins, minerals, etc. Willpower is severely overrated; a better way to look at it is just decisiveness. Make a decision about what to put in your body, and then do it, meal by meal. You don't need to make all future decisions right now, just the next one. And then the next.

redheadmommy

I deal with a non paleo husband, and I totally know how frustrating it can be. i do not really have cravings anymore , so his junk food doesn't pose any temptation for me anymore. It just frustrates me , because the relayed health problems and I want him to be healthy and live a long life with me.

Anyway, you need to be patient. You started something barely a few weeks ago, and it is unrealistic to expect a spouse to change their habit immediately for something that just seem a fad diet phase at the moment. If you take it seriously, and you are in for the long run, he will respect it eventually.

Until that happens, identify the type of junk food that you don't like but he does. I personally was chocolate girl, and couldn't care less about chips, Cheetos, pretzels etc, also candy irrelevant for me. He got chips and sour candy and it didn't bothered me.

TriLifter

I deal with a non paleo husband, and I totally know how frustrating it can be. i do not really have cravings anymore , so his junk food doesn't pose any temptation for me anymore. It just frustrates me , because the relayed health problems and I want him to be healthy and live a long life with me.

Anyway, you need to be patient. You started something barely a few weeks ago, and it is unrealistic to expect a spouse to change their habit immediately for something that just seem a fad diet phase at the moment. If you take it seriously, and you are in for the long run, he will respect it eventually.

Until that happens, identify the type of junk food that you don't like but he does. I personally was chocolate girl, and couldn't care less about chips, Cheetos, pretzels etc, also candy irrelevant for me. He got chips and sour candy and it didn't bothered me.

I also have a totally non paleo husband and have found a work around. One of my weaknesses is chips and my husband always keeps them in the house. I started buying pork rinds for myself to satisfy the crunch I was missing from the chips. Haven't eaten any of his since!

kikih64

I'm going on 3 months paleo and hubby still hasn't come around. I don't crave his junk food, but I will make paleo treats occasionally so when he sits down with his giant bowl of ice cream I can have something too. I have a little something on my side, though, a real health issue. It helps since he doesn't think of this as a fad for me so he's a little more understanding about my eating habits. Although he did comment one day as he watched me prepare a frittata for breakfast "Is this how it's going to be from now on?" I said yes. (pre-paleo it would have been a bowl of cereal, oatmeal or toast with pb - simple).

I've been trying a lot of new recipes, and he hasn't liked many of them unfortunately. That seems to be our sticking point, not the snacking. I pull out old recipes and make substitutions, or will make zoodles/spaghetti squash for me, but pasta for him. We'll get there.

Bottom line, I think if you have your "safe" snacks you won't be tempted to eat hubby's and the cravings do go away. I have cheated while on my journey (pumpkin whoopie pie heaven!) and have found I don't particularly enjoy the heavy, over-processed taste anymore. Good luck.

craudi

All of these responses have been great. I just wanted to say too, I don't know if you do the grocery shopping or not, but if so, just don't buy his "treats" anymore. If he NEEDS them, then he can go out and purchase them himself. That may not be enough of a deterrent for him to stop, but it may limit the amount of junk in the house.

Also, if he has a junk food cabinet, I say you get your own bacon cabinet...YOUR treats!