Remaining calm in a crisis (or not in this case)

yogicarl

So, two days ago a car drove through our front wall. The police were called and insurance details exchanged. The complication was that a second car had shunted into the car causing it to spin through our wall; so liability could lie with either the car driver who drove through our wall, or the second driver who caused the shunt.

I contact my insurance company and the rep there tells me to claim off the driver’s policy or I could be looking at paying the £100 excess and my premium going up, whereas the claim should be made on the guilty party’s policy.

So I contact the driver’s insurance company only to find the police officer took or was given the wrong insurance company details – a broker name rather than the actual company. So I contact the local police station who can but will not give out the information because they are not allowed because of data protection, even though the officer would have given us the exact same information if he had it at the scene of the incident! Useless!

By now, there is a numb feeling creeping over my scalp and a knotted feeling building in my stomach.
Several calls and frustrating conversations between my wife and I and our insurance company advise her that actually we do claim through our insurers and they do the work of claiming of the driver’s (whichever one) insurance, according to who was considered liable.

So why didn’t the person I spoke to tell me that?; would have prevented a whole load of angst and frustration.
The question is – I am usually a calm logical person and yet this incident really threw me out of kilter.

Where was my Yoga in all this and what could I have done to ensure I remained calm in the crisis?

yoginimary

If you figure it out, be sure to let me know.

I never know how angry to get when something happens. It's no big deal today, but yesterday, I was getting an appliance delivered and the guys were 2 hours late - and I was mad because they wasted my time and caused me to be late for work (not yoga class, the other job). What good did it do me to be angry? I think this is a valid question. It's not that you start doing yoga and you're no longer angry or frustrated or unreasonable. It's that you notice when you are. Anger has some uses. Anger compels people to act. But what action should I have taken yesterday? What action could you have taken or could you take now? If the answer is nothing, then you have to find a way to let it go (and if you figure that out, let me know!).

yogicarl

Thank you Mary. I suppose my anger comes not so much from the police officer who did not pass on the correct details to me or the lack of support from the local station when I asked for the correct information as was then refused - although that was really annoying because why can they give information to me at the scene of the incident but then not when I call in for clarification - but the most annoying thing was my own insurance company giving wrong advice at the beginning. If my own insurers had advised me properly, I wouldn't have taken the path of frustration in the first place.

I can let this go now as it is in the hands of my insurance company, which is what should have happened from the beginning.

I suppose my yoga self would have worked this out instead of going on the offensive - getting the other party's insurers - rather than the defensive approach - contacting my own insurers for protection.

Will I remember this next time? - maybe!

DaveJ_43

Mary has some great thoughts, Carl. Glad she's on my friend list

That's horrible what happened to you. Thank God no one was seriously hurt!

Dealing with insurance companies is no fun, and there could be all kinds of unfair coming your way in the process. When I encounter these kinds of circumstances, I try to take it not even a "day at a time," but even smaller. Okay, I need to make this phone call, I am just going to deal with this call right now. Sometimes I need to break it down even further - Okay, I need to deal with all this menu navigation for 10 minutes before I can talk to a live person. After the unpleasant call is over, I can breathe, and be thankful its passed. I may then move on to the next thing. Okay, now I get to practice yoga - this is my hour and it is going to be wonderful.

Best of luck on sorting it out, Carl. It's going to be okay.

lcyama

i tend to be calmer after yoga class. therefore, my advice is, practice lots of savasana!

also, i'm so sorry that happened to you! how frightening that must have been! best of luck getting it all taken care of, and i hope your wall is fixed soon.

yogicarl

Thank you everyone. feeling much more settled about it all now.

GiddyupTim

I kind of agree with Mary. (Of course)
How do you know that yoga didn't help?
Mighta been worse.

odonogc

I'm so sorry that happened to you Carl. Hugs!