It's starting to sink in

garber6th
garber6th Posts: 1,890 Member
So I know I had surgery, of course. I have been doing what I am supposed to be doing and things are going great. But today is my 50th birthday, and my brother wanted to hang out and he was joking around and he said we can split a cupcake. I said, I can't even eat a bite of a cupcake at this point let alone half... I have no idea if I will ever be able to eat cupcakes again. That silly little conversation made me think whoa, $#*& just got real. I really did this and things will be different from now on. Did anyone else have a moment after surgery like this?

Replies

  • DebbysJourney
    DebbysJourney Posts: 82 Member
    First off, Happy Birthday!!! :flowerforyou:

    Funny you should bring this up. I was talking with my parents on my way home from work and we were talking about eating desserts, like when would it be allowed. My dad kept asking, so you can NEVER have...........? I said I don't know about never, but I don't want to start testing the waters anytime soon on what I can get by with. I want the fear of those types of food with me for a long time. I am determined to make this work and not look for ways I can bring trigger foods back in.

    We WILL succeed!! :happy:
  • annwyatt69
    annwyatt69 Posts: 727 Member
    Honestly, not really, but I know people who have had. I still have a nibble of a cupcake if I want it, just not the whole thing--and I fit every calorie into my meal plan and log it all. I have not given up any food I love really, though I have "tweaked" my recipes to make them healthier. I no longer enjoy eating out often because I like the taste of my home cooked meals better--and I know what is in them.
    I think in the beginning it can be overwhelming, but it does get easier. I may have been lucky in a sense (though at the time I didn't think so!) because I went through 3 denials before my surgery was approved and it was a long waiting game that gave me a lot of extra time to deal with the food issues before the surgery happened.
    Good luck and hang in there! It does get easier and there is a good chance you will be able to tolerate a nibble or two of a cupcake down the line.
  • grim_traveller
    grim_traveller Posts: 625 Member
    Honestly, not really, but I know people who have had. I still have a nibble of a cupcake if I want it, just not the whole thing--and I fit every calorie into my meal plan and log it all. I have not given up any food I love really, though I have "tweaked" my recipes to make them healthier. I no longer enjoy eating out often because I like the taste of my home cooked meals better--and I know what is in them.
    I think in the beginning it can be overwhelming, but it does get easier. I may have been lucky in a sense (though at the time I didn't think so!) because I went through 3 denials before my surgery was approved and it was a long waiting game that gave me a lot of extra time to deal with the food issues before the surgery happened.
    Good luck and hang in there! It does get easier and there is a good chance you will be able to tolerate a nibble or two of a cupcake down the line.

    This. I didn't have anything with empty calories until I was near my goal. The longer you can delay, the better, but eventually you will add many, if not most things.
  • garber6th
    garber6th Posts: 1,890 Member
    It hasn't been so much that I am worrying about what I might or might not be able to eat... it's just the reality of it all was sinking in. Not in a bad way, but I think the first weeks after surgery we are kind of in a cocoon and then when things get back to normal, all the changes we have made and need to make can seem like a bit of a juggling act and definitely an eye opener!
  • stroynaya
    stroynaya Posts: 326 Member
    I think my moment was an office potluck lunch about a month after my surgery. I had this tiny dessert plate that I only filled halfway and still had to throw away half of that and everyone else was eating off a dinner size plate and going back for seconds.
  • pal00ga
    pal00ga Posts: 138 Member
    It only recently became difficult for me in the past few months. Before surgery, I was very much a homebody. I have always had lots of friends, we just usually did things like dinner and movie nights or game nights... always inside. So after surgery, it was easy to continue this sort of socializing while following all my diets and not having to change my lifestyle up too much (other than making better eating decisions obviously). And since all my friends knew about my surgery, it wasn't hard to stay on track.
    About 4 months ago, a little over a year after surgery, I started going out with friends to bars and clubs and the like. And I think that's the first time it REALLY hit me... while socializing with people outside of my group... people who didn't know about my surgery and thought it odd I was so hesitant to eat or drink certain things with them. I always ordered the light and low calorie drinks and could only drink very little before being plenty tipsy.
    Going on dates is even harder now. I usually wait til a second or third date to bring up my surgery. I either order some sort of appetizer as a meal or wind up taking half my meal home. Dates always think you are either nervous about eating in front of them or you don't want to be an expensive date or that the food was bad. Either way, it always makes for an awkward discussion. Once I even went on this date with this one guy who tried to really impress me by taking me to a very fancy tapa restaurant, ordering an expensive bottle of dessert wine, and taking the liberty to order literally every tapa on the menu for us. So our table was crazy full of plates. When I was barely drinking the wine, he kept asking if I did not like it and if he should order a different kind. I tried to tell him I didn't drink often, so that sort of settled it. But then when all the food was in front of us and I only ate little bits of the meaty, not greasy foods before stopping, he said he would be offended if I was too embarrassed to continue eating with him. Needless to say we didn't go on another date.

    Anyways, my whole point is that when I'm at home doing my own thing, I can go on thinking this is just how everyone lives and that I'm not living with special rules for myself. But going out is just a little trickier now, and I have to work even harder to stay the course.
  • janisbirch
    janisbirch Posts: 51 Member
    I'm sorta laughing over pal00ga's date at the tapa restaurant only because I can imagine how you must have felt while he kept ordering and the food kept coming. I can envision a Saturday Night Live skit with this happening too. I do have a warped sense of humor. Oh well...

    On the serious side, I'm a bit miffed with my sister (who has a lap band) since she keeps INSISTING I make pies for Thanksgiving. Why doesn't she just give me a loaded gun. Gads!! It's crazy. Little does she know, but I'm going to refuse to make them. I've told her twice now, so too bad if she doesn't get the message. I don't want to be tempting myself, nor do I want to give my pottery pie plates away and never get them back from her irresponsible kids.

    Needless to say, I'm stressing already about Thanksgiving. I love to make pies, but this isn't something I can do right now. I don't think it's fair to me. Anyone else feel this way, or am I over-reacting?
  • garber6th
    garber6th Posts: 1,890 Member
    I'm sorta laughing over pal00ga's date at the tapa restaurant only because I can imagine how you must have felt while he kept ordering and the food kept coming. I can envision a Saturday Night Live skit with this happening too. I do have a warped sense of humor. Oh well...

    On the serious side, I'm a bit miffed with my sister (who has a lap band) since she keeps INSISTING I make pies for Thanksgiving. Why doesn't she just give me a loaded gun. Gads!! It's crazy. Little does she know, but I'm going to refuse to make them. I've told her twice now, so too bad if she doesn't get the message. I don't want to be tempting myself, nor do I want to give my pottery pie plates away and never get them back from her irresponsible kids.

    Needless to say, I'm stressing already about Thanksgiving. I love to make pies, but this isn't something I can do right now. I don't think it's fair to me. Anyone else feel this way, or am I over-reacting?

    I don't think you are overreacting at all. I think all of us that have had this major surgery need to do whatever we have to do to ensure our success. Maybe next year you might be ok with making pies, but this year, skip it if that is what you need to do!
  • Agate69
    Agate69 Posts: 349 Member
    It takes a very long time to sink in and maybe it never really does. Just now after 3 years, I am really starting to think that tis is the new reality and why the<|%}€+^ did it take me so long to get to this new healthy place. Perhaps this mental part is really why obesity is rampant. WE THINK WE WANT, NEED, DESERVE EVERYTHING Look at our mega grocery stores, isles and isles filled with empty calories, and processed foods. I swear bags of chips fall off the shelves into people's carts.

    Plastic surgery has had another big effect on my brain, not only am I 130 pounds lighter, Iplastic took the extra belly skin, now looking in the mirror I see someone I like and recognize.