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non-paleo family

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mandabrett
mandabrett Posts: 139 Member
I know this has been posted multiple times here. I am the only one in the house that is paleo. I was transitioning my kids and my husband decided that was no longer something he would support. We have a house full of junk food again. I am so sad and frustrated that things are happening this way. I have even started eating their food which I had totally stopped doing previously. I also was sick this summer with shingles and then bronchitis right after that. During that month I gained 10 LB. I am going to blame that on all the steroids I had to take to get rid of the shingles (1 pack of prednisone and then a shot when the pills didn't help). I have never been able to reach homeostasis again since that month of illness.

I guess I am just needing support to get back on track. I don't have any friends in real life that eat this way. My husband supports my choice to live this lifestyle, but doesn't want me to make anyone else in the house do it. I know that this is the healthy way to eat, but I just feel so desperate and tired. Thanksgiving is in 2 days. I want to make some nice paleo sides and a paleo dessert of some sort to help me not feel deprived on thanksgiving. This is an awful time to be having problems like this, and I just feel so alone. My only goal is to be healthy and to help my family be healthy too.

Replies

  • Akimajuktuq
    Akimajuktuq Posts: 3,037 Member
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    I'm sorry that your husband has decided that a healthy lifestyle isn't for him. Worse, it sounds like your children are now not supported to eat Paleo either. I am a single parent and my child eats Primally. Her health and behaviour have improved immensely. The only regret I have is not caring about my health sooner because that would have also ensured better health for her.

    I don't have any great advice for how to deal with your family. In my house Paleo is non negotiable. It would be a deal breaker for me if anyone sabotaged my efforts. However, I am comfortable serving rice or potatoes to visitors and it wouldn't bother me if they were on the table regularly. Junk food in the house all the time-not an option.

    However, it is totally in your power to choose to eat Paleo yourself. It will be harder than what I deal with, but it's still a choice. Even if your children don't join you they will learn and be influenced by the example you are setting. When they are grown up and start getting fat and sick they will know what to do to change it instead of having to figure it all out on their own, which took me until the age of 40 unfortunately.
  • mmipanda
    mmipanda Posts: 351 Member
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    There's so much room for compromise between eating complete junk and strict paleo. I'd let them eat things like pasta and rice, but make snacks more fruit/yoghurt oriented than chips & cookies.

    With thanksgiving, maybe look into a paleo pumpkin pie? Most of the meal is paleo-friendly already; maybe split your sweet potato into two portions, one covered in marshmallow and one just nicely roasted? Or you could use some maple syrup to sweeten it if you feel left out.

    We're doing Thanksgiving on Sunday and I'm really excited about it, I love having an american stepfamily. TURKEY
  • mandabrett
    mandabrett Posts: 139 Member
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    I think I can definitely help myself by being more prepared. I've been lacking in the preplanning lately which is why I think I have been eating their junk. If I have healthy options easily accessible I think I can rectify this situation. This is totally under my control as you said. I ate this way for over a year with no major issue with it. It think I have just been having a pity party about not being able to get the weight off that I gained.

    I found a simple paleo pumpkin pie recipe on pintrest last night and I think that's what I will make. It is easier than others I think and will meets my needs just fine. I am also making a lot of the veggies, so I will have plenty of yummy food.

    Thank you guys for your responses. I appreciate it!
  • primalkiwi
    primalkiwi Posts: 164 Member
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    marksdailyapple.com also has some great ideas for Thanksgiving menus.

    I live with non paleos who fill the house with junk. Yes it is hard seeing it sitting there on the shelf but I remind myself that is why they have health problems.
    I do most of the cooking so usually cook a paleo/primal meal and add rice or potatoes for them. I try to make sure there is enough leftover for me for breakfast and lunch the following day - if I'm not prepared that's when temptation can get the better of me. You've done it before so maybe it's just a case of getting in the groove again and getting your mojo back :-)
  • Dragonwolf
    Dragonwolf Posts: 5,600 Member
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    I was transitioning my kids and my husband decided that was no longer something he would support. We have a house full of junk food again. I am so sad and frustrated that things are happening this way.

    Have you talked to him about these things? This seems like a dramatic reversal to just be an arbitrary thing, especially after a year. I can't help but think that there's something else going on. If nothing else, it would probably be worth talking to him about how it's making you feel, and that you felt going Paleo was a good thing, so going back to junk food (especially if it's the really bad stuff like cupcakes) feels like a really bad thing.

    Perhaps you guys can reach some kind of happy medium for him and the kids? Like, they can still have a roll with spaghetti squash night, or they can have gluten-free bread for some things. Even if you can't eliminate grains from their diet, not making them a staple is still an improvement, and may be a way to have everyone transition, albeit at a slower pace.

    The holiday meals can already be largely Paleo-friendly, even if they're not perfect/Whole 30 level or entirely low-carb - turkey, ham, potatoes/sweet potatoes (the worst part of these is the marshmallow monstrosity, but sweet potatoes don't need to be that), vegetables, etc. The worst offenders might be the desserts, but you can compromise by making Paleo variations of your favorites, and it can be possible to make "bad" foods for others to eat and not eat it yourself.

    As for support outside your house, check out Meetup.com and see if there are any Paleo groups near you, or if there's not, perhaps start your own. It helps to have other like-minded people around.
  • Howbouto
    Howbouto Posts: 2,121 Member
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    I don't have children but live with a non-paleo husband. Here is what I have learned, lead by example. Number 2, do not enable. There are certain nonpaleo things I will buy and ones I won't. Frozen pasta dinners, I'll buy, no temptation for me. Cookies/baked goods, if he whats them, he needs to go buy and put them on his shelf. If you do the shopping, explain to your husband you respect his decision but these are your terms for his lifestyle. My husband eats lots of paleo out of laziness more than desire. LOL
  • mandabrett
    mandabrett Posts: 139 Member
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    I have thought about not buying his junk anymore. I think I'll tell him that I won't buy anymore but he still can buy his own if he wants but keep it on the top pantry shelf that only he can reach, so the kids and I won't be tempted. I love that idea.

    I also am totally checking out meetup groups!

    Thanks so much!
  • Howbouto
    Howbouto Posts: 2,121 Member
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    I have thought about not buying his junk anymore. I think I'll tell him that I won't buy anymore but he still can buy his own if he wants but keep it on the top pantry shelf that only he can reach, so the kids and I won't be tempted. I love that idea.

    I also am totally checking out meetup groups!

    Thanks so much!

    Ha that is my husband's shelf too. And the bottom shelf of the freezer.
  • ThePrimalSpartan
    ThePrimalSpartan Posts: 59 Member
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    I'm definitely struggling with something similar. My boyfriend does not follow Primal/Paleo at all, so when I visit his place dinners involve a lot of pasta, rice or potatoes. And I actually had boxed sugary cereal for breakfast--I haven't had that since I was a kid! I'm going to start trying to incorporate more Primal things and skip the junk, but it's definitely tempting when it's EVERYWHERE at their house.
  • janpuzzle31
    janpuzzle31 Posts: 48 Member
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    These posts have been great. My family agreed to do 21 days of primal 'as an experiment', we cleared the pantry of all non-primal food and I have taken charge of all shopping/cooking so that nothing sneaked in. 21 days have now passed and my husband has agreed to extend the 'experiment' until we break up for Christmas. My problem is that I really want to carry on with primal for ever, and so was wondering how to cope with re-introduction of non-primal items. I now have some ideas and strategies to use when that time comes, I love the idea of asking family members to buy their own biscuits/cakes etc. That makes me feel like I am giving them freedom but the reality is that they won't get organised to shop for themselves. Thanks!
  • sportyredhead01
    sportyredhead01 Posts: 482 Member
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    No kids here but my husband eats whatever. I try to stay away from processed things but he has a couple of junky things that I WILL buy for him and they are in a cabinet, out of my sight, that don't really tempt me. He eats very healthy but he's not down with the lack of grains and dairy.

    Basically it's like I operate two different kitchens. This week he has chili, I have ham hock and cabbage soup. He has beer bread and I have almond flour bread. It's time consuming but I figure at least he's not eating fast food everyday.

    Also I believe in not disclosing everything..like my hubs doesn't need to know the macaroons that are in the fridge are white sugar/grain free, I just say "they are sweetened with honey" and he's like "oh cool" and it's a non-issue. :happy:
  • mandabrett
    mandabrett Posts: 139 Member
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    Things are getting better around here. Thanks for the support!
  • AllanMisner
    AllanMisner Posts: 4,140 Member
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    My fiance has seen how this lifestyle can affect body composition. However, she still won't commit to it. We've done a few things in compromise:

    1) When I am cooking, she can expect it to be primal. I respect it when she won't eat what I'm having (organ meat) and I make her something else (also primal).
    2) When she cooks, I might not eat some things (rice, potatoes, carrots, etc.)
    3) She now looks for cleaner meats (no hormones, organic, grass-fed) and realizes it tastes better.
    4) She now incorporates some of the things I've bought to support my diet (Himalayan salt, grass fed butter, coconut oil).
    5) She keeps snack foods around that she wants; I try to avoid them.

    On my last point, I've found the only way I can avoid snacking on non-primal foods is to be prepared. I keep nuts, paleo stix and tuna pouches on hand. I also make sure I am the one cooking most of the time.