new....confused

agentventi

Hi, I have been looking at TDEE calculators and I think I figured out my TDEE but not sure. I am 35 years old, female. I am 4 feet 11 inches and about 90lbs. I workout usually by doing TRX for 30 minutes 3x's per week and cardio 30-45 minutes 3 x's per week...sometimes a little more if I have time. I work a desk job during the day and real estate in all my "free time" haha.
Some background on me. For 3 years I was under eating by a LOT. I would average 500- 800 a day most of the time. Did that for years, lost my period, went from about 113 down to 81 pounds. I worked out for 60-120 minutes every single day.
Since July of this year I have been eating more but struggling with the weight gain. I don;t like it but know it needed to happen. I could probably put on another 5 pounds...although, I think I look okay right now, no longer sick looking. Anyway my calories are up to about 1450-1550 right now. I think my TDEE is 1600 but I am not sure if that is right?
I have started this and stopped several times. I eat 1550 for a few days, gain a few pounds then restrict back to 1100-1200. I have been above 1450 since Dec 5th...this is my longest stretch and I want to continue. I have not weighed myself since that morning. I am afraid to until I balance out. I am afraid of carbs/starches/fruits/grains too but slowly trying to add them back.
My goal is to be able to maintain a healthy weight, relationship with food and lifestyle at or even above my TDEE. I love food. I would love to be able to eat a few cookies and not gain 2 pounds on the scale. This is what my body is still doing. That is why I wanted to do this reset. I figured if I got my body used to it for 6 weeks, let my weight do its thing, then I could maybe finally eat normally. Not cookies all the time but once every few weeks I would love to share a dessert with my 7 year old or order pizza. I would love to eat normal. And if I ever find myself a little too uncomfortable with my size I want to be able to cut at a NORMAL calorie number. I never want to cut below 1200 just to lose a few pounds. I don;t want to go back to that scary place.
I am not sure when I should weigh in, how much more I should increase my calories, how quickly I should increase....My pants are tighter so I know I am gaining. Should I increase this week or stay where I am at?

jordymils

First of all, what you're feeling is totally normal. My low cal diet was never quite as severe as yours or for as long, but for 18 months or so I was eating around 1200-1400 calories a day, when my TDEE at the time would have been around 2100. I felt all of the same things when I started my reset a few months ago, but I just kept telling myself that I was doing the best thing for my body and I would be glad for it later. Like you, I also stopped getting my period but it came back last month for the first time in over a year!!

You are doing exactly what your body needs you to do. It will take time to get used to eating more, not freaking out about gaining weight, not feeling guilty for eating something 'naughty', etc. But you will get to a point, if you persist and allow yourself, where you are comfortable with what you're eating and the good it is doing for your body.
As for the TDEE, 1600 sounds low but given your height and weight, it probably is about right. Have you had a look at heybales spreadsheet? If not, he is a member in this group so find his profile and download the spreadsheet on his page. It enables you to be more specific with your activity levels etc so should give you a more accurate TDEE.
Once you have that, I would suggest eating at your TDEE for the entirety of your reset. If you eat a little under, then your body will think that is its caloric needs, which it isn't. During reset, it's best to eat at or above TDEE, but never under. Give it 8-10 weeks for your body and mind to catch up and come to terms with the adjustment, and then see how you're going.

I think the EM2WL consensus would also be to quit the steady state cardio and instead either incorporate some heavy lifting or at the very least do HIIT cardio, instead of steady state.

I finished my reset and instead of cutting calories, I increased my training coz I couldn't bear the thought of eating less haha!! I am now eating around 2200 per day and loving it. It will take time to adjust, but like I said you are doing the best thing for your body and you will get used to it.
Hope that helps

AnitraSoto

Congratulations on taking the first step towards treating your body with the respect it deserves - it sounds like your brain is in the right place!

After such a long time at such a huge deficit (compounded by the excessive cardio), I would not be surprised if it did not take your body quite a lot longer than the "standard" 8 - 12 weeks for reset. Unlike so many others, it sounds like you are starting the EM2WL way of life not to lose weight, but to boost your metabolism back up to where it should be.

Unless you are doing all that cardio because you love it, I would suggest backing off a little on the steady state stuff. TRX is great and maybe look into trying/integrating some heavy lifting (that muscle you gain will help you to speed up your metabolism and therefore eat more).

Coming from your VLCD history, I would not be surprised if it didn't take you longer to actually get up to where you can eat at your TDEE and be comfortable and stable (weight-wise). I would just take it slow and work up there gradually. Pick a level and eat there until you are comfortable and your weight is completely stable (minus normal monthly fluctuations). Once you are stable at that calorie level, then bump it up 100 or 200 calories a day and stay there until things stabilize again.

Personally, i know it took me close to a year before I got my metabolism back to what I consider "normal". I never had restricted as much as you have, but I was to the point where I was eating 1,000 - 1,200 calories a day and maintaining even with one hour of cardio every day. I gradually increased my calories by 100 or 200 calories a day and then stayed at that level until I felt comfortable enough to progress upwards again. As I recall, I actually spent several months at the 1,800 calorie level.

You are very small, and given your height and current weight that sounds about right for your TDEE. Just take it nice and slow and keep pushing forward. Remember that this is an investment in you and your health. Also try to resist that urge to increase the cardio as you eat more in an effort to "burn it off". Stick with the strength training and try to build some muscle - you will feel better, and look better, and no better time to try to accomplish that then when eating at TDEE.