Does anyone PLAN their binge?

focuseddiva

It is pretty clear I have a binge eating problem. I never used to. At my heaviest, I was 350 lbs. I didn't binge then. But I ate whatever I wanted. I lost all of my weight and hit my goal of 140 in 2008. I kept it off for 4 years. I swore I would never regain the weight. I was very strict with myself and a major gym rat. Then, old habits came in. And it was like I was testing myself to see how much "extra" stuff I could eat and still maintain. Then 5 lbs came on, and I rationalized it. Then it was 10 lbs. Pretty soon, I was back in the 160s. I stayed there for a year, rationalizing the whole time that I could eat what I wanted on a few days and be strict on others. I'm now 175. While I was gaining this weight, I discovered I was actually binging. I would eat 1200 calories for 3-4 days, then get massive cravings. And then I would tell myself I could have a day off -- and that day off was my excuse to eat anything I had been craving, all in one day. That was my binging pattern. And because I knew I had ONE day to eat what I wanted, I ate massive volumes of food, and all of it junk. Anything I had been craving. Which is how planning my binges started. I literally would think about which stores or fast food places I would go to, and what I would buy. Example: Pizza shop for a large calzone. Then to a convenience store for Little Debbie snacks (multiples of them), cookies, chips, candy bars. I'd go home, eat all of it in an hour. Feel sick. Wait for the feeling to subside. Then hit the kitchen to see what I could eat. Bread and butter. I would make 8 pieces of toast, slather them with butter, eat those. Cereal -- 5 bowls of cereal. This would go on and on until I finally felt exhausted, sick, and to lethargic to even move. And then I'd fall asleep. Next day, I would feel like he##. Bloated, gassy. And oddly, hungry. And I would let the hunger pain go and not indulge ... and get back to being on 1200 calories, get back to exercising. And so it went.

Does this sound like anyone, or am I completely off my rocker?

trinity9058

That's how I do it. When I know it's coming, I stop at McDonald's, Taco Bell, and Dairy Queen, then have a pizza delivered when I get home. If I'm going to be out all day, I go to my favorite pizza place in the next town order and get their largest pizza and carry it around with me all day. I will eat until I feel sick and then when the feeling goes away, I'll eat again. And through this whole process, I will swear that I am hungry, that I'm just starving to death and that I have to have all of it. Then the guilt and shame and self-loathing starts and I'm back to being a good girl, at least for a couple of day.

ldrosophila

oh yeah thats a pretty common trait of binge eaters its planned