BE Support Group Conversation Thread - 2014

IsMollyReallyHungry

How are you all doing? It is my hope you use this thread to get to know each other better and have a safe place to motivate & support one another daily. This group will be what you all make of it. So let's talk, support, share challenges, successes, and most of all share replases. We can all learn from one another. So please share, share, share. This group is what you make it so lets make it a place for all of us to get support.

One day at a time.:flowerforyou:

A nice poem for us if we think it is just now worth the effort or when the going gets tough and you want to throw in the towel. The name of the poem is:

'Don't Quit' by Jill Wolf

Don't quit when the tide is lowest,
For it's just about to turn;
Don't quit over doubt's and questions,
For there's something you may learn.
Don't quit when the night is darkest,
For its just a while 'til dawn;
Don't quit when you've run the farthest,
For the race is almost won.
Don't quit when the hill is steepest,
For your goal is almost nigh;
Don't quit, for you're not a failure
Until you fail to try.

janesmith1

TY

greekygirl

Thanks, Molly! This is just what I need today...I'm finally feeling good and light after my Christmas bingeing and now I am having cravings for a certain binge food! WTH. And it's still early in the day...ugh. I'm waiting for this to pass.

How is everyone doing today?

MadDogManor

Thanks for starting another thread, Molly :-) I cannot believe it's another year already! This is my first holiday season while on MFP and for the first time in a very long time, I don't feel too bad about my food choices. I've had treats and days over by thousands of cals, but I'm still logging (most) all the food and keeping up with exercising. I haven't lost as much weight as I thought I would this past year, but it will come, eventually. Good luck to all!

phabphour20

Yesterday was my 4th or 5th binge-free day in a row and the first of 2014. Feels nice to have a clean slate. I basically had a lost year. Fell into depression last Christmas and had a year of yo-yo dieting, back injuries, binge eating, etc. Started this year 18 pounds heavier than I started last year.

Despite that, I am feeling like I can do this. I am trying to focus on each day, instead of the bigger picture like I always have. Usually I say something to myself like, 'geez, only 90 pounds overweight, at 6 or 7 pounds a month it will take me more than a year... what's the point?' Instead, I am just focusing on making today a positive day.

Been reading a book which talks extensively about a recovering pill and booze addict who is a year sober through AA. The corollaries are pretty interesting. The biggest takeaways I've had have been that community is very important and nothing is more important than getting through today sober (binge-free for me).

I know it is January 2nd, but here is an astonishing fact for me...

This year, I have more gym trips (1) than binges (0). If I can keep that ratio in positive territory for the whole year, that will make me a happier man.

eustinjean

Today makes 12 days binge-free. One day at a time. I had really good holiday food choices and somehow will make it through my big 50th birthday next Tuesday.

There is a feeling I have after finishing a meal. It's a hunger that is not physical. I have noticed it and am willing to sit in this discomfort.

I like the hope here!

phabphour20

Today makes 12 days binge-free. One day at a time. I had really good holiday food choices and somehow will make it through my big 50th birthday next Tuesday.

There is a feeling I have after finishing a meal. It's a hunger that is not physical. I have noticed it and am willing to sit in this discomfort.

I like the hope here!

Happy Early Birthday!

I have literally no understanding of hunger/fullness anymore... other than stuffing myself to the point of being sick. Then I know I am full.

Last night I made a spinach salad for dinner with my wife and kids. Some chopped bacon, a hard-boiled egg, tomatoes, onions and blue cheese. It was a full plate of food. Afterward I had my dessert of a few squares of 85% dark chocolate. When I was done I sat and thought. I tried to really feel if I was hunger or satiated. I HAD NO IDEA. I just can't make the connection.

Last night I was able to say, ok, that was plenty of food, objectively, not physically. And I stopped eating. Other times I have not been so strong.

I wonder when/if I will ever be able to know true hunger/fullness.

mellowadam

I didn't know this group existed. I've currently been binge free since 2/16/13. I joined a 12 step group which really helped me. I look forward to joining the discussion. I'm on an 8 day logging streak and my goal is to log for everyday during 2014.

Ybul

Hoping this will be the year I get over this monster... It feels impossible. Would be so grateful for any support or words of wisdom from others, and I really hope that you're all well. All the best for the new year!

Pudding1980

I am also hoping this will be the year that I won the fight against this monster. Last year was actually when it really took over and I am not willing to have a second year like that

IsMollyReallyHungry

I didn't know this group existed. I've currently been binge free since 2/16/13. I joined a 12 step group which really helped me. I look forward to joining the discussion. I'm on an 8 day logging streak and my goal is to log for everyday during 2014.

Awesome job!! Was that OA??

phabphour20

Binge free so far in 2014. I've made a couple poor choices for food but they haven't turned into binges.

I've gone to the gym three times in five days so far. Progress.

Just focusing on getting through each day without a binge. That seems to be the key to me. One day at a time. Eventually they'll add up to a nice streak.

Pudding1980

Binge free today for the first time in weeks...I am so happy

phabphour20

Binge free today for the first time in weeks...I am so happy

Congrats!

One day at a time. It is a cliche, but a sound one. The more I fight this thing the more I realize that I have a much better shot at holding my resolve and willpower for one day than trying to go, say, a month or even a week. I have strung almost 10 days in a row this way.

Just making sure to get through today without a binge. That is my focus!

Alluring72

So glad to see this thread! I've been an on again off again mfp member. Goal is to stay on this time around. Started logging yesterday and was going to quit after I got home and when crazy..... I ate more in snacking yesterday than I did in all three meals combined. I start feeling bad about it and that just pushes me to more food..... UGH!!!!!!!!!!! So frustrating that I sabotage my efforts. I want to be healthy but I get in my own way of achieving my goal.....

Pudding1980

Binge free today for the first time in weeks...I am so happy

Congrats!

One day at a time. It is a cliche, but a sound one. The more I fight this thing the more I realize that I have a much better shot at holding my resolve and willpower for one day than trying to go, say, a month or even a week. I have strung almost 10 days in a row this way.

Just making sure to get through today without a binge. That is my focus!

I am almost through today and I have made it binge free again. One day at a time for sure.

ltaylor9597

Hi all! Happy New Year! I haven't been with the group that long. Just recently admitting that I definitely am a binge eater. What a challenge to admit that. I had a row of several good days - no binges, logged everything, even went to the gym. Then, the floor fell out from under me Monday and continued on thru Tuesday. I know it is in the past. I can't do anything about it. It just frustrates me to no end. I am working hard to only focus on today and not put too much thought into the past. So far today, so good! Plan to hit the gym tonight and stay out of the kitchen when I first get home (huge trigger just walking into that room first thing).

Looking forward to getting to know you all and grow a solid support group. Reading all the posts is already so inspiring!

phabphour20

Hi all! Happy New Year! I haven't been with the group that long. Just recently admitting that I definitely am a binge eater. What a challenge to admit that. I had a row of several good days - no binges, logged everything, even went to the gym. Then, the floor fell out from under me Monday and continued on thru Tuesday. I know it is in the past. I can't do anything about it. It just frustrates me to no end. I am working hard to only focus on today and not put too much thought into the past. So far today, so good! Plan to hit the gym tonight and stay out of the kitchen when I first get home (huge trigger just walking into that room first thing).

Looking forward to getting to know you all and grow a solid support group. Reading all the posts is already so inspiring!

Learning those triggers is key. Aside from specific foods, I have learned that standing up while eating leads me to mindlessly consume. I used to do this a lot when my wife was out and I was cooking meals for the kids. Standing in the kitchen I would just pick and snack and test and eventually would have eaten more than I would have eaten in the regular meal (which of course I would still eat). Now I make sure to sit while I eat.

Also extended periods alone with nothing to do. Terrible. Now I make sure that when I am going to have these interludes alone that I have something to do... something to focus on. Cleaning or organizing or even knowing an episode of a show I am going to watch.

The past is the past. Today is another day. Keep working at it.

gandysweet

hi everyone,
I recently discovered this group about a week ago, and no one in my life knows i think I have this.
yesterday and today I have been battling with binging, and feeling sorry for my self, and being extemely hard on myself. I hope to be able to one day to find balance. I'm working so hard for 2014 to be that year.

ltaylor9597

hi everyone,
I recently discovered this group about a week ago, and no one in my life knows i think I have this.
yesterday and today I have been battling with binging, and feeling sorry for my self, and being extemely hard on myself. I hope to be able to one day to find balance. I'm working so hard for 2014 to be that year.

Hi Gandy - first (((hugs))) no one in my life knows that I am a Binge Eater either. It is a deep dark secret I keep. I feel if I were to tell anyone they would quickly discount it primarily because no one knows how I am when no one is around. All of my binges are in secret. Having my family completely blow this off I think would do more harm to me than good. That is part of why I decided to start reaching out and was so happy to find this group where I can be honest and really share what is really going on when no one is around. Hopefully if we all keep coming back we can help each other find the balance I think we all seek. Hang in there!

For me, yesterday was my first binge free day in a while. I went to the gym after work and thankfully my husband had dinner ready when I walked in the door so there was no opportunity to binge. It felt so good to finish the day on a good note. Tonight is shaping up to be a good one too as I will have to start running kids around the second I hit the drive way - so, again, no opportunity to binge. Tomorrow....well, tomorrow is a work from home day. Never good food wise. Still trying to wrap my head around how to handle that.

crzyone

I'm so glad I just found this thread. I so need help.

ltaylor9597

Ugh. Fridays. Why can't I overcome them? Tailspin started Friday and lasted all weekend. Back to it today, but feeling extremely down about the weekend. Hopefully I can get back to logging and working out this weekend.

How did everyone else do?

phabphour20

Ugh. Fridays. Why can't I overcome them? Tailspin started Friday and lasted all weekend. Back to it today, but feeling extremely down about the weekend. Hopefully I can get back to logging and working out this weekend.

How did everyone else do?

I had a pretty good weekend.

I know that lost weekend feeling all too well. It is very hard sometimes, but I have found that it is important for me to not look ahead. I sound like a broken record on here with this, but you have to take it one day at a time. Tomorrow and today are not related. There is no real construct as a weekend or a year. They exist only in our minds. The only thing that is real is waking up today and going to bed tonight. Do your best for one day and then wake up and do your best again.

Weekends are never lost on Friday night. Saturday is another day. I used to say a week was lost, or a month. Now I am trying to never let a day be lost. Ate some chocolate I didn't need? It happens. Eat a normal dinner and wake up tomorrow and do it all again. This has been helpful for me.

Cheers.

kimberlyann88888

hi everyone am new on here but i been 7 days free from binge eating its hard some days got to keep my self busy

ltaylor9597

Ugh. Fridays. Why can't I overcome them? Tailspin started Friday and lasted all weekend. Back to it today, but feeling extremely down about the weekend. Hopefully I can get back to logging and working out this weekend.

How did everyone else do?

I had a pretty good weekend.

I know that lost weekend feeling all too well. It is very hard sometimes, but I have found that it is important for me to not look ahead. I sound like a broken record on here with this, but you have to take it one day at a time. Tomorrow and today are not related. There is no real construct as a weekend or a year. They exist only in our minds. The only thing that is real is waking up today and going to bed tonight. Do your best for one day and then wake up and do your best again.

Weekends are never lost on Friday night. Saturday is another day. I used to say a week was lost, or a month. Now I am trying to never let a day be lost. Ate some chocolate I didn't need? It happens. Eat a normal dinner and wake up tomorrow and do it all again. This has been helpful for me.

Cheers.

I love this ^^ I think I am going to write that down and post it on my fridge. Maybe read it frequently enough and I can work on changing my thinking. You are so right...it is just another day and another opportunity to do my best. Thanks so much!

Hi Kimberly! Keep up your streak!

I was so proud of myself last night. I came home to all three of my kids in very foul moods. My oldest had to be taken to work and the hubby had some errands to run. I was home with the two youngest and after a lot of arguing I finally had them settled. My nerves were shot though! I was actually pacing through the kitchen opening cabinets and the refrigerator over and over looking for something - anything. I couldn't make up my mind whether I wanted a beer or to eat something. Finally, I had a brief moment of sanity and I held onto it with both hands and walked out of the kitchen empty handed. When my husband got home we had dinner and I smiled to myself at the fact that I had avoided a binge. Narrowly, but, I did. I wish there were a way to bottle up that feeling of success so my tiny sane piece could use it to coax my big crazy piece out of the kitchen with it!

Anyhow, hoping today will be just as successful as yesterday!

Have great days!

Jayme34

Glad I found this thread, I need to stop my self destructive ways!

IsMollyReallyHungry

Glad I found this thread, I need to stop my self destructive ways!

Welcome Jayme!

ltaylor9597

Hi everyone! Checking in. Have had a couple decent (binge free) days now. Typically I have 2-3 good ones then slip. I am really hoping to break that cycle. Have my day planned out food wise today and plan to go to the gym after work today. I have found that the last couple of days I have wanted to go to the gym mostly to deal with a lot of stress that has been going on in my life. So far the only days that seem to work with the family's schedule is the Wed/Fri/Sat/Sun set up. Maybe that is good for now. I don't know.

How's everyone doing? Keep coming back and sharing!

kddunn94

Hi, new here and very tentative... Brief background I'm 53, married, 3 kids 30, 23 and 8. Discovered that binge eating was even a "thing" just about a month ago and that there are others just like me.Then I discovered I have all of the classic signs. I always thought I was just "severely damaged". I haven't quite reached the place where I get any comfort from knowing that there are others like me but I am hoping that I get to a place where I don't feel so ashamed and embarrassed. My first step was to "come out" to my husband. His response was discouraging at best. He said he loves me no matter what I weigh and I should just stop bingeing. He wants to be supportive but just doesn't understand the dynamics. But, you all do... At this point I am just trying not to binge and if I do binge to keep it relatively small. I have discovered that, for right now at least, it's not even one day at a time it's one minute to the next. I appreciate everything I have read on here so far and hope that I can be a productive member of this group.

ltaylor9597

Hi KDDUNN! I think maybe it is really hard for people who don't deal with BE to understand what it is like. Every time there is a party at my parents my mom insists I take home the sweet goodies. Her reasoning is that my kids will eat it. When I refuse and tell her I can't have that kind of stuff in the house she just looks at me and says "well, sweetie....just don't eat it." Uh huh. Right. If it were only that easy. I am so proud of you for taking that first step with your husband. That couldn't have been easy. Even though he didn't respond ideally at least it is out there. I am still trying to find the strength to do that. I have not come out to any one in my family. I have been so relieved to find this site for that reason. I can talk freely and openly and know that it is a group of people that will really get it. I too only recently realized that I have BED. It was hard to admit to myself at first, but, once I did it was almost a relief in a way. I wish I could put words to it. I am still getting to know the group. Feel free to add me as a friend if you want. I noticed a lot of folks (and activity!) on the January Challenge: me vs the binge thread if you want to check it out. I just started checking that thread out recently and decided to join in. For me it is a way to keep giving myself hope and keep myself winning vs the binge winning. Keep coming back and talking! (((hugs)))

Today is proving to be a relatively easy day to stay on track. I started feeling bad in the belly this morning and it has not gotten better. It took me over an hour to eat the small lunch I brought. Nothing tastes good and it is just sitting in my belly like lead. I have this weird metal like taste in my mouth too. I just feel like *bleh*. Looking forward to getting home so I can wrap myself in a blanket and hopefully feel better by tomorrow.

phabphour20

I am really finding the gym to be a helpful motivator. If I can get myself to go in the morning, then I have this feeling of not wanting to ruin the good work I've done. It helps me get through the day.

It also helps my mood, generally. Can't believe I have gone more in the past 3 weeks than in the prior year. Going to try and keep it up. Nothing crazy... every other day or so.

I can do this!