Single for a year
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moya_rargh
Posts: 1,473 Member
Tomorrow is the first anniversary of me splitting from my ex-fiancee. The year I've had since was as desolate as what the future holds. There IS more than this......isn't there?
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Life is what you make it Moya! You can sit in and feel sorry for yourself and feed off your own negativity, or you can get proactive, get out, make some friends and enjoy life. Maybe even meet your soul mate along the way! :bigsmile:
Pays your money, takes your choice
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Life is what you make it Moya! You can sit in and feel sorry for yourself and feed off your own negativity, or you can get proactive, get out, make some friends and enjoy life. Maybe even meet your soul mate along the way! :bigsmile:
Pays your money, takes your choice
I want to get out and enjoy, but where do I get friends from? I'm a bit of a hermit to say the least. I only have human contact in work! :noway:0 -
There are two sides to each coin.Tomorrow is the first anniversary of me splitting from my ex-fiancee. The year I've had since was as desolate as what the future holds. There IS more than this......isn't there?
Being single is great, so focus on yourself.
Think about your previous relationship... What are all the things you felt you couldn't do? (like watching porn on your 50 inch TV at dinner - which you should absolutely do now)
Now that you have nobody to worry about, just enjoy life as much as you can. Becoming single frees a lot of time in your schedule and you can officially start each sentence with "i" instead of "we", so it's time to learn tons of new things, travel if you can, watch the movies you like, go out with (new) friends.
It is only when you realise that relationships would be too big a sacrifice on your current lifestyle that the opposite gender will start flocking to you.
At this stage, take the coin I mentioned at the beginning of my post - that conveniently possesses two sides - and flip it.
If you get:
- Tail: stay single.
- Head: go for the relationship.
Alternatively you can also manage to get "head" before flipping the coin.0 -
What are all the things you felt you couldn't do? (like watching porn on your 50 inch TV at dinner - which you should absolutely do now)
Am I the only female that thinks this is a great thing to do in a relationship? :laugh: :bigsmile:0 -
Lemme tell ya, the squid in your plate might not be to the taste of everyone if you are simultaneously watching some squid porn.
Am I the only female that thinks this is a great thing to do in a relationship? :laugh: :bigsmile:What are all the things you felt you couldn't do? (like watching porn on your 50 inch TV at dinner - which you should absolutely do now)0 -
Life is what you make it Moya! You can sit in and feel sorry for yourself and feed off your own negativity, or you can get proactive, get out, make some friends and enjoy life. Maybe even meet your soul mate along the way! :bigsmile:
Pays your money, takes your choice
I want to get out and enjoy, but where do I get friends from? I'm a bit of a hermit to say the least. I only have human contact in work! :noway:
I really dont know why anyone would be a hermit and like it!! So why not stop being a hermit??
There is a site online called 'meetup'. That's a good starting point...........
Join a sports club and learn to play badmintion/squash/tennis?
Go drinking in your 'local'? Start talking to people at the bar.....
Volunteer for the homeless............
Join another dating site (I read you didnt have any luck on POF, but there are others)
Etc
Etc0 -
I'm a bit of an introvert myself, so I do understand how hard it can be to meet new people or start up a conversation with a stranger. Start online if that makes you more comfortable - Anna had some great suggestions with Meetup and dating sites. Also, what other hobbies do you have? Get involved more with those in real life. And talk to your existing friends and tell them its your New Years resolution to get out and meet more people!
Good luck!0 -
Haha.. beware of Meetup. ;-) I kid, I kid. I met my best friend (a guy) through meetup. It's got it's pluses and minuses but you get that from anything.
For what it's worth, I've been single about 10 years. I miss having the relationship part, but I was in such a bad place in life that I'm glad I didn't have something else going on (had been involved in an accident). They say there's a lid for every pot, so I'm hoping my pot (or lid) is out there! Good luck to you! 0 -
I've always been single. Way to much social anxiety to meet new people. I guess my goal is trying to get professional help on that. Just wish I didn't have such anxiety seeking help.0
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I guess my goal is trying to get professional help on that. Just wish I didn't have such anxiety seeking help.
There's no shame in getting help. You will probably feel much better if you do!0 -
stop being a hermit.
i'm sure you have hobbies. any hobby can be turned into something social, even something like building teeny ships in a bottle. there's tons of meetups groups devoted to all kinds of things.
i'm not sure if you have any in your area but it's worth a shot to look into. what about volunteering? that's also a great way to meet new people, going to church (if that's your thing), film festivals, gallery tours, etc. it pretty much just takes
1)getting out of your comfort zone
2)not going into it with a negative desperate vibe (this will surely keep everyone an arm's length away)
3) displaying a genuine interest to talk to people and get to know them0 -
I can be a hermit too but sometimes you just have to let loose and get out there.
Think positive thoughts, have some fun and bring back to yourself what you put out in the world.
“Remember that your thoughts are the primary cause of everything.”
― Rhonda Byrne, The Secret
Best wishes this year!
ETA: I have also been "single" for a year {1/15/2013}0 -
I can be a hermit too but sometimes you just have to let loose and get out there.
Think positive thoughts, have some fun and bring back to yourself what you put out in the world.
“Remember that your thoughts are the primary cause of everything.”
― Rhonda Byrne, The Secret
Best wishes this year!
ETA: I have also been "single" for a year {1/15/2013}
I like that quote. Thanks!
Oh, I haven't been "single," I've been SINGLE!!! A bug crawls on me and I'm grateful for the touch haha!0 -
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:Oh, I haven't been "single," I've been SINGLE!!! A bug crawls on me and I'm grateful for the touch haha!
Maybe you should start looking for people on MFP near you too? You can find locals under the Community tab I think.0 -
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:Oh, I haven't been "single," I've been SINGLE!!! A bug crawls on me and I'm grateful for the touch haha!
Maybe you should start looking for people on MFP near you too? You can find locals under the Community tab I think.
Maybe you should get a job as an exterminator. You'll be grateful on a daily basis.0 -
He is in England I don't think they have meetup.com over there.1)getting out of your comfort zone
2)not going into it with a negative desperate vibe (this will surely keep everyone an arm's length away)
3) displaying a genuine interest to talk to people and get to know them
I agree with this. Try and do one thing new a month that is outside your comfort zone and keep an open mind while you do it. You are a good looking guy, have some confidence and smile and be open and I doubt you will be single long.0 -
How about taking a new profile pic with a SMILE? :bigsmile:0
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I like that quote. Thanks!
Oh, I haven't been "single," I've been SINGLE!!! A bug crawls on me and I'm grateful for the touch haha!
You are welcome and OMG, a bug. LOL You need to get out there and soon. :drinker:0 -
i didn't read the whole thread. i've been single for several years now. In 2013, i think i had like maybe 5-6 dates total!
it was a great year though!!! i got serious about health, nutrition and fitness. I started my own company. got myself some husky puppies to keep me busy, and boy have they EVER!!!! made a TON of friends! and signed myself up for classes to become a Certified Personal Trainer, which I started RIGHT as we entered 2014.
I think you can either sit and sulk, or you can keep putting one foot in front of the other, and be moving forward, even if it's at a snail's pace. Infrequently I miss having a guy, or going on dates, but more often than not I have so much going on that I don't even think about it!!!!
I am heading out to Vegas in June for a work related weekend called Summit, I am sending the universe as many vibes as I can that I meet someone, that is like minded, while I am there. If it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen, but it is in my top 10 goals for 2014. So, if i visualize it happening, it will ;-)0 -
Life is what you make it Moya! You can sit in and feel sorry for yourself and feed off your own negativity, or you can get proactive, get out, make some friends and enjoy life. Maybe even meet your soul mate along the way! :bigsmile:
Pays your money, takes your choice
I want to get out and enjoy, but where do I get friends from? I'm a bit of a hermit to say the least. I only have human contact in work! :noway:
You sound just like me!! I only see people at work and at home, and online dating has NOT been working out...good luck!0
