Single for a year
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"Relationships" is one of these things were (theoretically) you only need to hit the jackpot once, so there is technically no need for "everyone" to be interested in you (or anyone). Sure it helps, but it's more a case of trial and error (and rejections, especially from a male point of view). All in all, your experience is "fairly standard" though (and I agree that it sucks for our ego).Just deleted my pof account. My worst fears about myself were confirmed in the four days since I joined back up. Gotta forget being heterosexual and find something else to do with my life.
I agree. I date a lot. And break ups suck but I know that I'm going to break up 99% of the time. I just want/ need that 1%. So no worries.0 -
I just gave up realising I'm only enough for people who are obese. I don't mean that disrepectfully, but we're talking the mother from Honey Boo Boo here!0
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...But one thing I've discoverd is that attitude is EVERYTHING!
Damn right....So. .the key is to get your badass on. . Get fit. . work hard. . do something worthwhile. . stop wasting time. .
Tell it like it is, brother!...don't watch too much porn. .
Wait, what? You lost me.0 -
Hmmmm....looks like this wilderness is going to require a loooooong stay.0
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I can relate. I "split up" with someone about six months ago and it's been rough. I put that in quotes because even then it wasn't a real relationship, more like really close friends. Still it felt like a break-up when she started going out with someone else (but I wish her well I really do!)
Technically I've been single since I was 19. I also suffer from anxiety and it's really hard to make myself do things. I have tried. I went to evening classes but there was no real social aspect, everyone just went home after. I joined meetup.com - it does exist in the UK - but my nearest meetups are always in London and I'm outside. I have been to them but it's not exactly easy and when I told people where I was from I got this look like "what are you doing here?". I also went to a film society, local outdoor festival thing and I've started going to church again.
I did put my details up on a couple of dating sites - during a drunken night out when visiting an old friend in Edinburgh - but I haven't got the confidence to contact anyone.
But every day is a new day and I am still trying. I look at it like my weight loss. That was consistent effort over a long period that paid off in time. So I know that some people could do all these activities and within weeks have made new friends. For me it's taking longer but I think/hope that I'll get there.0 -
I just gave up realising I'm only enough for people who are obese. I don't mean that disrepectfully, but we're talking the mother from Honey Boo Boo here!
I'm a thicker gal and though people think all men like skinny petite chicks, I have had no problem finding attractive successful men. And supposedly men are more visual!! However, I'm on the "you gotta wanna bang you're partner" team. And you know that as soon as you see someone.
If all you're getting are obese women, maybe it's just a matter of looking somewhere else or waiting a bit until someone "worthy" comes along. It doesn't mean it'll be like that forever. :flowerforyou:0 -
You're classed as a 'thicker gal?' Really? You've got a great figure! Bear in mind that I like the Christina Hendricks/Nigella Lawson body type.....although if I find a woman sexy, I find a woman sexy, regardless of body shape. My only physical turnoffs are unhealthy shape at both ends of the spectrum and poor hygiene.
This was a blow to my self esteem to say the least. Imagine if the only men who found you attractive were all dead ringers for Peter Griffin or Norm from Cheers! :laugh:0 -
Lol Peter wouldn't be so bad as I'd be laughing most of the time. J/k Yeah I couldn't really bang Peter type.
And yes, I'm a size 12... I'm 5'8 but def not fragile little body type. I guess there's a ying to every yang.
I had to look up nigella but apparently you're a boob man. But yes, they're not petite women either.0 -
Lol Peter wouldn't be so bad as I'd be laughing most of the time. J/k Yeah I couldn't really bang Peter type.
And yes, I'm a size 12... I'm 5'8 but def not fragile little body type. I guess there's a ying to every yang.
I had to look up nigella but apparently you're a boob man. But yes, they're not petite women either.
I suppose I am, but I don't limit myself to a particular type....just as long as I'm not expected to date Mama June from Honey Boo Boo!0 -
I just gave up realising I'm only enough for people who are obese. I don't mean that disrepectfully, but we're talking the mother from Honey Boo Boo here!
Dude, you and me both.
I've been on POF for who knows how long.. I'm up to 69 people who want to meet me now.. I've messaged back three of them, actually met one in person last weekend (while it seemed to go well at the time, it's completely dead in the water).
I think I might actually try to find some kind of speed dating. You throw enough things at a wall, something's gotta stick, right?
But yes.. been single since just before this decade began, and this looks to be my ninth straight Valentine's Day where I will save money! (despite the exclamation mark, I'm not supremely thrilled)0 -
Do you guys mind posting your profile? I'm about 300 pounds and live in an area where there are only about 50-60 total women within 6 years of my age and 30 miles of my town that are active on the dating sites at any time. Before I met my girlfriend, I was going on 1 or 2 dates a week. Very few were Barbie dolls but none looked like Honey Boo Boo's mom.
Another thing, most women aren't going to approach you unless you have a picture of yourself a) where it looks like you have an anaconda in your pants, or b) you're standing next to your Lamborghini with your 30,000 s.f. estate in the background or c) a combination of a and b. There is the occasional woman who has the confidence to approach a guy but most think that if you're really interested you'll pursue them. Most often, the ones who approach the guys are the ones who are feeling desperate because guys are not approaching them.0 -
Most often, the ones who approach the guys are the ones who are feeling desperate because guys are not approaching them.
Actually that's not true. I've approached loads of guys online, and not through desperation at all. I don't think you (a woman) can just sit back and wait for the right guy to find you. It's an equal search!! I might see something in a picture or a profile that appeals to me, that didnt appeal to him etc. AND he might not find you on his filter. I might live a mile outside his area........etc
Get with equality David!!! It's not desperate, it's logical! :laugh:0 -
Most often, the ones who approach the guys are the ones who are feeling desperate because guys are not approaching them.
Actually that's not true. I've approached loads of guys online, and not through desperation at all. I don't think you (a woman) can just sit back and wait for the right guy to find you. It's an equal search!! I might see something in a picture or a profile that appeals to me, that didnt appeal to him etc. AND he might not find you on his filter. I might live a mile outside his area........etc
Get with equality David!!! It's not desperate, it's logical! :laugh:
You must have missed the sentence right before the one you quoted.There is the occasional woman who has the confidence to approach a guy but most think that if you're really interested you'll pursue them.0 -
Most often, the ones who approach the guys are the ones who are feeling desperate because guys are not approaching them.
Actually that's not true. I've approached loads of guys online, and not through desperation at all. I don't think you (a woman) can just sit back and wait for the right guy to find you. It's an equal search!! I might see something in a picture or a profile that appeals to me, that didnt appeal to him etc. AND he might not find you on his filter. I might live a mile outside his area........etc
Get with equality David!!! It's not desperate, it's logical! :laugh:
You must have missed the sentence right before the one you quoted.There is the occasional woman who has the confidence to approach a guy but most think that if you're really interested you'll pursue them.
No didnt miss it
Just because you lack confidence, doesn't mean you're desperate...........it was the desperate word that bugged me! You implied that contacting a guy made you a desperado!! Although I do appreciate that some people are, both male and female. 0 -
I wasn't expecting anybody to approach me, I was just repeatedly ignored and blocked for approaching them. You can make your own mind up from my mfp photos, I'm far from the guy who feels entitled to 'hotties.' I'm just disillusioned by the whole thing, it has taught me.....I just ain't good enough!0
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I wasn't expecting anybody to approach me, I was just repeatedly ignored and blocked for approaching them. You can make your own mind up from my mfp photos, I'm far from the guy who feels entitled to 'hotties.' I'm just disillusioned by the whole thing, it has taught me.....I just ain't good enough!
I'm really wondering what your profile says that it gets so little response. More curious though is what you could possibly be saying in your messages that motivates these women to block you. Most will just ignore you if they are not interested.0 -
I hope my post above does not come off as accusatory. I am wondering if you are presenting yourself poorly or saying something that is turning off these women. Giving a sample may help provide insights. This group has been helpful for others in the past.0
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I hope my post above does not come off as accusatory. I am wondering if you are presenting yourself poorly or saying something that is turning off these women. Giving a sample may help provide insights. This group has been helpful for others in the past.
If I see something in their profile that I share a common interest with, I'll just say hi and reference what it was that caught my interest e.g. "Great photos, when did you go to New York, always been a dream of mine" or "how long have you been biking" or stuff along those lines. I always keep it friendly as I would when saying hi for the first time in person.0 -
I'm going to stay tuned on this one.. I see a lot of parallels with my own experiences (moya_rargh, our approaches sound pretty much dead similar).
I try to put a twist on it when I experience rejection though - even if it isn't the case, I try to look at it as "she thought I was too awesome and was scared to go forth" although I would never bleed this mentality either.. just fuel for the fitness fire!0 -
I'm going to stay tuned on this one.. I see a lot of parallels with my own experiences (moya_rargh, our approaches sound pretty much dead similar).
I try to put a twist on it when I experience rejection though - even if it isn't the case, I try to look at it as "she thought I was too awesome and was scared to go forth" although I would never bleed this mentality either.. just fuel for the fitness fire!
This is sometimes true. I have had guys send me a message and think "wow this guy is too awesome for me" and then not respond. This is why I am single and women are confusing.0
