Some help please

mezz123

Hello everyone,

My name is Meryn, i'm new to this. I was just needing some help, i'm at my wits end.
Ok, so i've been binging for quite a few months now, and as a result i've gained 10kgs over what my ideal weight should be at. I'm really noticing the weight going on very fast, and i'm really uncomfortable and really depressed.
I'm a school teacher, and I go back to school in 2 weeks. I am very anxious about it - i know that eating regularly is what you're meant to do, but I also have the habit of overeating at every meal.
What I've been doing lately is eating the same things, every day. I'll go to particular places and order the same things, and these are high calorie foods like neenish tarts, chocolate chip biscuits with real cadbury chocolate pieces, werthers etc.

I'm having a lot of trouble. I feel incredibly distressed by what's happening to my body, and i'm so upset in how i feel in myself. Walking around I can feel my body moving, wobbling, stretching, and it's really getting to me.
I'm having a lot of trouble though, and this is why i decided to post on this forum. I'm having a lot of difficulty stopping myself. I used to be able to have self control, but now it's like that's totally gone. I find that i get SO upset during the night, and i feel SO guilty and horrible, and I am really upset and distressed. But during the day, I make every excuse so that i can go ahead and overeat and binge. While i'm doing it i hate myself, but it's like i can't NOT do it. And now it's really taking it's toll on my body, and i don't know what to do.
I've tried distraction, but the thoughts of the food just yell so much louder when i try and do something else. I've tried writing lists of what i can do instead of binge, but i can't seem to concentrate on anything else other than the food i want. Ive also tried writing so many post its, and putting them everywhere, and i've also tried printing out motivational cards and pictures of healthy, toned, slim bodies, and these just don't work.
I'm out of things to try, and i just don't know what i can do to follow a healthy meal plan during the day and night. At the moment during the day, i make so many excuses, eating the unhealthy foods, binging, or overeating, or not exercising always makes me feel not as bad, but then during the night i feel SO awful.

Please if any of you have any advice, that would mean the world to me.

Thanks xxx

eso2012

I can relate to a certain extent. I am an "experienced" binge-eater. My "peak period" was in my 20s. I am 45 now and recently I have been experiencing relapses. Binge-eating never really left me per se, but looking back I was pretty good in part of my 30s and early 40s.

I think it is important to embrace it and treat it as a long term condition. Frustrating for sure, but it is a deep issue that cannot be resolved over night. So, on that note, please do NOT worry about the "going back to school" date. I know how that feels, like you need to get rid of binge-eating or lose some weight before that big day. It will only create pressure and stress and push you further into the vicious cycle.

As I am dealing with relapses right now, I would like to share with you what worked/is working for me. I also blog about my last relapse and kind of "wrote myself out of the cycle".

1. Take a deep look into your history of BE. Are there other issues like depression or OCD? They are all part and parcel of a condition. Don't feel lost, it is how your body works. the more you recognize what your triggers, history, behaviours are, the more you can read up and find ways to manage. Do you have friends/relatives that you can use as an objective observer? My husband can tell when I am a bit off; it is helpful to have an objective partner in this exercise.

2. Ignore all the wobbly bits! I can SO relate to this. It's like even if you can take food out of your mind and hope for a good day, you FEEL t he result of BE under your shirt...it's like an ugly constant reminder. As much as you can, ignore that "fat" feeling. For me, that's the worst and get me depressed the min I wake up...obviously not a good start of a new day.

3. If you write, try to write a few notes, not a lot of stickies. When I blog about it, I try to have 1 or 2 things as mantra or to do. Writing too much - like those words of encouragement you mentioned - can be an overkill IMO. On top of how you feel inside, you have a lot that come at you from the outside! So, if you have to stickies or what not, perhaps narrow down to one or 2 things. For me, it is "exercise and will be all good".

4. Do you work out? I am a very regular workout bunny (all started 2+ years ago). It has changed my life. I swear that it is the best way to help me get out of the cycle. When I binge over a period of time, I feel lethargic, I just want to let go. And because I have tranformed my attitude towards working out, I just get back to sweating it out...and I don't even worry about how long or intensive the workout is. I don't do my usual "max it out" thing. I just do it, move. Move so I can eat properly.

5. U turn. I read ages ago that binge-eating is like a long term journey. So what if you fall off the wagon? Make a u turn.

6. Don't do big "New Day, New Diet"thing. No goals, just super baby steps, just "live it"....BED has a lot to do with control and ironically that's what people like us tend to do when we want to get out of it!


I am not sure if I have been clear. It is an emotional topic for me as well. Feel free to add me as a friend. Perhaps I can share more pointers via messages.

Also, someone posted a list of good sites for BED. You may want to check those out.

Hope you feel better soon.