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nw288
Posts: 11 Member
I've been overweight since childhood, and while I've lost and gained small amounts over the past few years, I can't remember every being truly happy with how I looked. I've had a rough few years - I wasn't fortunate enough to own a horse as a teen, and finally got my dream horse my sophomore year of college. A tall, black KWPN schoolmaster - perfect for me in every way and a horse that I had a connection with that I've yet to duplicate. Our time together was painfully short when his career, and ultimately life, was ended due to a bone cyst in his ankle - I tried EVERYTHING, from traditional treatments and conservative therapy, to cutting edge studies, to no avail. I couldn't get him pasture sound, and made the decision every horse owner despairs over. After I lost him, I owned two more horses for short periods - the first only a few months as it turns out he wanted to jump instead of do dressage, and the second was a young horse that was diagnosed with EPM and is now retired with a lovely family.
The horse with EPM has the distinction of being the one to really rob me of my confidence in the saddle. I am not the worlds boldest person to begin with, but after he tripped then bronc-ed me into a fence (had a helmet) and busted my face, I found myself as wimpy as ever, and no horse to ride to help me rebuild my confidence as he was (shockingly) deemed unsafe to ride. Oh, and now I have a beautiful frankenstein/harry potter forehead scar. Cool. Between the loss of my first boy, the accident, and a job managing a barn for a rather spoiled, entitled, unrealistic owner - there were some pretty unhappy times. I can't place all the blame for my weight on this, but it certainly didn't help.
I'm happy to say my professional life is in a much better state these days - I have spent the past year working at one of the top dressage breeding and training farms in the country as a groom for one of the trainers. I get to travel, work with great horses and great people, and best of all, I have one of the incredibly rare horse jobs where I'm treated like a real person, not an indentured servant. 5 day work week and health insurance? Yup! Crazy, right?
I get to ride occasionally at work, which is a privilege - my position here isn't considered a riding position, so any time I get to hop on is great! I'd be lying if I said it didn't bother me that I don't have my own horse here - I've never had the opportunity to have regular access to such great training, and the opportunities I'm missing due to financial reasons really, really, really...sucks. I work with horses all day, but I still feel the void. I forced myself to do the sensible thing, and bought a much needed new car this year. The car, coupled with student loans, pretty much seals the deal - no horse for me for a long time
While I admittedly don't think I'll really feel "whole" again until I have another horse that I really connect with, I've decided to focus on the things that I CAN control. I want to make the most of what little riding I get to do, and have an extra 70 pounds flopping about certainly isn't helping. And yes, I dream of fitting into pikeurs one day. I'd know you other riders "get it" and I'd love to have riders as MFP friends to help keep me on track. Please feel free to add me!
The horse with EPM has the distinction of being the one to really rob me of my confidence in the saddle. I am not the worlds boldest person to begin with, but after he tripped then bronc-ed me into a fence (had a helmet) and busted my face, I found myself as wimpy as ever, and no horse to ride to help me rebuild my confidence as he was (shockingly) deemed unsafe to ride. Oh, and now I have a beautiful frankenstein/harry potter forehead scar. Cool. Between the loss of my first boy, the accident, and a job managing a barn for a rather spoiled, entitled, unrealistic owner - there were some pretty unhappy times. I can't place all the blame for my weight on this, but it certainly didn't help.
I'm happy to say my professional life is in a much better state these days - I have spent the past year working at one of the top dressage breeding and training farms in the country as a groom for one of the trainers. I get to travel, work with great horses and great people, and best of all, I have one of the incredibly rare horse jobs where I'm treated like a real person, not an indentured servant. 5 day work week and health insurance? Yup! Crazy, right?
I get to ride occasionally at work, which is a privilege - my position here isn't considered a riding position, so any time I get to hop on is great! I'd be lying if I said it didn't bother me that I don't have my own horse here - I've never had the opportunity to have regular access to such great training, and the opportunities I'm missing due to financial reasons really, really, really...sucks. I work with horses all day, but I still feel the void. I forced myself to do the sensible thing, and bought a much needed new car this year. The car, coupled with student loans, pretty much seals the deal - no horse for me for a long time
While I admittedly don't think I'll really feel "whole" again until I have another horse that I really connect with, I've decided to focus on the things that I CAN control. I want to make the most of what little riding I get to do, and have an extra 70 pounds flopping about certainly isn't helping. And yes, I dream of fitting into pikeurs one day. I'd know you other riders "get it" and I'd love to have riders as MFP friends to help keep me on track. Please feel free to add me!
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Thank you for sharing your story with us. I will do my best to be a voice of motivation and positivity for you!0
