So very tired of starting over . . .

eris1981

I've set myself up with a serious yo-yo dieting trend, and I'm soooo tired of it. I want to lose weight and be healthy, and I know all of the reasons my weight is dangerous. I've lost weight before . . . a LOT of weight, even, but I always gain it back. I know that it has to be a lifestyle change and not a "diet". I've managed to limit myself to just one actual serving of ice cream, and I've managed to plan ahead to allow myself that fried chicken for dinner when I want it, but eventually something triggers me back into emotional eating, and the next thing I know I'm at Krispy Kreme ordering an entire dozen of original glazed donuts to eat on the way home and destroying the evidence before I get there so that nobody knows what I did, or like Wednesday I ate an entire box of Girl Scout Samoa cookies. I've eaten an entire large Papa John's pizza in one sitting before like it's nothing. When I'm stressed or upset, I comfort myself with food. My dad was in the hospital recently and found out he has several arteries that are significantly blocked (one's 80% blocked), and I'm scared that it won't be long before I'm in that position . . . but when I found out about his blocked arteries? I comforted myself with food, and since I couldn't decide between Captain D's and Popeye's, I had both. And dessert, too. I'm aware of how I'm hurting myself when I do this, but it's almost as though some other force takes control and I can't stop. And when I don't keep unhealthy food in my house, trying to make myself stop, it works until I get upset enough to make a special trip to the store to buy Cheetos, or Little Debbie, or a box of brownie mix to make and eat just the batter. I know all of the "right" things to do . . . to find non-food ways to relieve stress or to console myself, and I know I need to develop the willpower to stick with it, but when that other force becomes involved, the war is lost. I don't know what to do. I'm at the point now where I'm not even sure why I'm bothering to start over and wondering if maybe I should just accept that it's my lot in life to remain morbidly obese until I die young.

LadyBeryl

My heart goes out to you. I know the feeling. I suggest you stick with logging everything in MFP. It is better to log the good and the bad than to try to ignore the day of binge eating. .

judymoving

I too am an emotional eater. My daughter went through some major medical issues last spring, I gained 30 pounds in about 6 months. That extra weight just took even more toll on me. My motivation was very low. So I decided to do something for myself, I wanted to learn how to ride a motorcycle, I signed up for the class, and on the first day of riding I took a very hard spill. I could hardly walk for three weeks. No broken bones, but very bruised and swollen. Again.. I ate, and sat, and ate. I knew I had to do something, similar to where you are now. You know this isn't right, you know you need to stop, but you just keep falling into the pit of "oh well" I can try again tomorrow. ..... Well, that is why you - and me, joined MFP. We know we need help to stay motivated.
I have been at this now since Dec 4th... and I have only lost 18 pounds. That's it... 18... while I see other people loosing that in a month or two. But slow and steady, that is what will make us change. We are not going to change this emotional eating tomorrow, or the next day. It will take time to train ourselves into finding other ways to deal.

I had an older woman that I worked with who went through some terrible life tragedies, and on her car her vanity plates stated, "Begin". I think that is what it takes.... We just have to keep having a new beginning... every moment, every day, we Begin anew. If things have you so down that you can't see an end to the passion you have over food, call someone who may understand, leave the situation your in that is causing the emotion and do something else. Worst comes to worst, sometimes talking with a Doctor about the issue may help. They may be able to offer some other solace or solution. Either way. .... Begin!

dakrzone

Hi Eris, I too am an emotional eater. I think a lot of us that are overweight are. I suggest you change your outlook a bit and don't see your slip-ups as anything more than that. If you consider them to be too catastrophic it can have a very bad effect on your effort to continue. It's not the end, just a mis-step on your journey that's going to take some time.

Emotional eating is tough and in my opinion food addiction is probably the worst kind of addiction to deal with. Cut yourself some slack. You are not starting over but continuing a good thing you bravely started because you knew it was right for you.

Emotional eating is a way to sooth ourselves when we don't have alternative methods to do so or the ability to self-sooth. Having gained an understanding of that, I would also suggest you be brave another way and begin to seek out a means to solve or better cope with the reason you are emotionally eating. For me I started with speaking to a therapist and coupled that with going back to church. These resources have helped give me resolve to begin and continue to make real changes in my life.

May you have continued success and we'll be here to support you!