man does that hurt!

blondemom1979
blondemom1979 Posts: 64 Member
Recently there was a movie night at my children's school, my daughter wanted to be dropped off rather than me staying with her and watching the movie from the back while she sits with her friends. I asked her why and she started to cry, I told her its ok she can always tell me anything. Turned out that a couple of the mothers and some their children were making fun of my weight and of course it embarrassed my daughter so she doesn't want me to go to the school anymore. My son says that similar things have happened to him. I have always been big, I weigh almost 250lbs. I hold down a job, play with my kids and do generally anything I want to do so I guess I have fooled myself into thinking my weight isn't that bad. But man does it hurt to be an embarrassment to my kids.

Replies

  • timetravelforfitness
    timetravelforfitness Posts: 242 Member
    I am so sorry. That is such crap and I hope your daughter knows that those opinions come from women not worth impressing. Not that it makes it any easier for her or you, but ... oh I'm fuming!

    One of my best friends in high school had a mother who was very large. She had dieted as a teenager and used diet pills, which had killed her thyroid. I had no idea. I mean, for THREE YEARS I had no idea she was not just like my mom. And then another mom said something about her in front of me. It was a giant surprise to me to realize she didn't look exactly like every other mom. Because I didn't think of her like that. I thought of her as the nicest mom, the one who was always willing to take me home when my mom forgot to pick me up, the one who let me stay for dinner when I didn't want to come home, the one who never sighed when she heard I was coming over. I don't know if it will help at all, but to this day, 20 years later, I still think wonderful things about her, and terrible things about the woman who mentioned her size.

    I am sorry other people are such terrible people, especially in front of your daughter.
  • blondemom1979
    blondemom1979 Posts: 64 Member
    Thanks time traveler, I hope that my kids remember me playing with them, sledding skiing, going to movies,baking,swimming tubing etc.
  • timetravelforfitness
    timetravelforfitness Posts: 242 Member
    I'm sure they will. My mom had migraines for most of my childhood and would hide in her room with the lights off and the shades drawn. But I have to try really hard to remember that, what I remember is her warming my mittens in the oven, taking me for long walks any time of year, teaching me to draw, and getting up to drive me to the bus for band trips at 4 AM. You're kids know who you really are, what other people think you are won't be as important to them.
  • mcsweetly
    mcsweetly Posts: 133 Member
    I too had a friend's mother like this. One who went our of her way to include me when I was visiting. I never had any issues about going home, but never knew she was different until I heard someone else say something. She is still a wonderful lady that was great to me.

    Don't worry about the other ladies' cattiness. I can't believe they would set that kind of example in front of their children, especially with your daughter there. They should be ashamed of themselves. Just keep working on it and when you succeed won't they be surprised!
  • Ryhenblue
    Ryhenblue Posts: 390 Member
    I'm sorry to hear that you have to deal with bad parenting at your child's school. Those parents should be ashamed of themselves, teaching their kids its ok to make fun of other people. It clearly makes your daughter uncomfortable and ruins what should be a happy memory for her. Talk to the principal, maybe you can get them banned or at least talked to about their unacceptable behavior. You shouldn't have to suffer because of bad parents.
  • TheBadToe
    TheBadToe Posts: 246 Member
    I am sorry for what ignorant people do. But you are in the right place and we will support you.
  • jenready
    jenready Posts: 2,658 Member
    It's terrible to think some people find this behavior appropriate but worse to think they are teaching their children to act the same way. I'm so sorry that you and your children have to deal with this.
  • JRIV60
    JRIV60 Posts: 732 Member
    I am soo sorry hon thast people are just shallow like that. It's a tough situation for you because how you hanle it will be what your daighter remembers. It is not okay for you to "hide" in the back of the theater. You sit right there with them and if they really have an issue with you or your weight they will say it to your face. Being made fun of was/is nothing new to me but confront one and see what happens - a big nothing, most of them will deny it or cower in fear that you confronted them. lol

    Maybe I am a little more aggressive with my approaches but for me being an outcast is nothing new. I was not the "big girl" growing up but I was a band and math geek with very few friends. Even now at 36 I do not fit in and my kids are "different" than most kids here (we live in a tiny town and we are not from here) but they are strong and open with me about the issues they are having with kids in school, etc. It's hard to hear sometimes but we work through it together. My lesson to them is that it is okay to be different, we are all special in our own right. Who wants to look like the masses anyway, you know.

    People are going to be ignorant as Big Toe said. Let it roll off your shoulders, smile and keep moving forward. Don't let them bring you down or your daughter for that matter. They are NOT worth your time or emotions. We think you are great. :0)

    Let's get your journey going and show them shallow peeps what's up!

    xo,

    Jo