"Back Lash"
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I haven't encountered this. However, I have pretty courteous friends and pretty definite boundaries, and I haven't shared that I've had surgery with everyone. All of my friends have noticed how my eating and exercise habits have changed in the last 2 years. I'm also 46 and have been married for nearly 20 years and my husband had RNY 2 months after I did. So, un-reciprocated advances aren't really an issue for me.
As far as the "easy way out." Look, surgery is a tool, nothing more. The bottom line is that weight loss is more calories out than in, whether you have surgery or not. Surgery forces you to change your eating and habits for a period of time. But it is by no means a "magic bullet" if you don't change those habits long term. If it were, no one would ever regain weight post op and nearly 50% of people do to some degree. My SIL had RNY 10 years ago and has regained a significant amount of weight, largely because she snacks to deal with stress, bakes as a hobby (though I've had to "lay down the law about dumping her baked goods at my house "for the kids" - she's 53 and has no kids and a husband who's trying to lose weight and she bakes cookies twice a week to amuse herself), and she doesn't exercise because she "doesn't like exercise" (no one does at 1st, but if you're consistent and stick it out that changes.) I'm 2 years out from surgery and down 180lbs and I still have to track my food and calories and I work out A LOT (still trying to drop the last 35lbs).0 -
I have been very open about my weight loss journey from the beginning. In June 2013 I began with diet and exercise... through my surgery date I had lost around 80 pounds... since surgery 2/20 I have lost about 29 more.
I have had many folks be supportive and wish me well. Some of the folks that have been vocal in support have surprised me, but the surprise was more for the folks that were "friends" that were Nay sayers.... I didn't let that bother me and kept trucking.
This past week however, a male friend of 9 years, really unleashed pure nastiness that I would have never expected. I won't post what he said, but the gist of it was that my surgery was cheating. I am weak for not being able to lose weight without surgery and that if I had surgery to remove the excess skin and reshape that I would then be "Fake",,,,,,,,,, Ummmmmmmm wow.
Needless to say we are no longer friends... I mentioned this to a friend of mine or 2 that have had surgery also years ago and they told me that this is common. people feel threatened by positive change I guess.
Just wondering, have any of you guys experienced back lash? Is it common?
I'm sorry you've gone through this with your 'friend.' While I have not had such a direct assault from my friends I have had a couple share their concerns and even their points of view. One in particular said much the same as your friend (only much nicer). I listened and heard everything she had to say. Then I took the time to educate her on my bariatric choice as well as what brought me to this decision. She has also struggled with her weight so I was able to use her own struggle as a reference point. She listened and admitted that she really didn't understand my choice. We have agreed to let it go at that point. She is one of my dearest friends and remains so. I've lost 47 to date and she has been a great encouragement.
I truly believe most people don't understand the choice any of us make to have bariatric surgery. Your friend's comment about your surgery amounting to 'cheating' assume you took a short cut, and just shows is lack of education. Anyone who's had bariatric surgery knows this is not the easy way out! This is hard. Sometimes it's frustrating to be full so quickly. And going through all we've gone through to get where we are is NOT the easy way out.
You keep your head held high and your efforts moving forward. Take the time to educate your friends and family.0 -
PLEASE READ THIS ARTICLE... I love this author - she is such an inspiration for all of us in this group. I really wish you could share it with that 'male friend (???)' - this would open his eyes - if not his brain!
((scroll down a little after opening) http://wlsjourney.org/community-forums/general-bariatrics/wls-article-depository/1265-bariatric-surgery-cheaters.html
:flowerforyou:
Christine
Thanks for posting this article. What a great read!0 -
I know a few people exactly like that! One them gets SO mad because I refuse to post my surgery details on Facebook.........I have MFP for that---and it is NOT anyone's business. Anyway, even though I work out six days a week (kickboxing and strength training), this person still comments to others that I'm cheating and that the surgery was essentially a 'magic pill'. For these individuals, they fail to realize that the surgery will ONLY work if you use it as the tool that it is. I still have to exercise, I still have to watch what I eat, I still have to log my food and make sure I am on track. I am almost 2 years post op---and the surgery helped get me started. However, the surgery doesn't get my butt out of bed every morning to get me to my 5 a.m. class, the surgery doesn't do food prep on Sundays to make sure that I have portion control, and the surgery certainly doesn't tell my brain to shut up and don't eat that bad food.
Individuals that cannot be supportive are truly not your friend anyway. They are jealous because they know that they need to make better health decisions in their lives and refuse to do so. Just keep doing the work for YOU--that is all that matters
AMEN! And congrats on your weight loss.0 -
PLEASE READ THIS ARTICLE... I love this author - she is such an inspiration for all of us in this group. I really wish you could share it with that 'male friend (???)' - this would open his eyes - if not his brain!
((scroll down a little after opening) http://wlsjourney.org/community-forums/general-bariatrics/wls-article-depository/1265-bariatric-surgery-cheaters.html
:flowerforyou:
Christine
Thanks for sharing the article! It was awesome!0 -
Thanks for sharing the article! 0
