Do men our age think differently?
FrancineM62
Posts: 42 Member
So my husband and I are both 51. He is in a Biggest Loser contest at work. He's lost 15 pounds so far, wants to lose 5 more. He is extremely competitive. MFP did not work for him, but this Biggest Loser thing has got him eating and exercising like I"ve never seen him do. I'm very proud of him and it's been great walking together and easier for me not to snack too. He says he'd be ecstatic to get to 200 and stay there. Here's the thing: He's 6ft tall, so at 200, he'd still be overweight. I don't understand why he would be happy still being overweight. I'm just saying if it were ME, and I went through the trouble of losing weight, I would certainly have a goal of eventually NOT being overweight. He says he hasn't been lower than that since high school and he doesn't think it's realistic. I say if he keeps eating and exercising like he has been doing, he could very realistically expect to get to a normal weight. Don't get me wrong, he looks great, and if he's happy, I'm happy. I just wonder if those our age just think they should accept being a little overweight, that they can never get to where they were when they were younger; or maybe that men can get away with a few extra pounds. What do you think?
0
Replies
-
Even though I ended up w/in the parameters for healthy weight (142 @ 5'6"), it wasn't my goal (was thinking 162 cuz I looked good/felt good at that weight when I was exercising regularly). I don't agree w/the "healthy" body weight range as a one size fits all thing -- especially for men.
I can't even begin to imagine how anorexic my hubby would look if he weighed under 170 (he's 5'6" also) and personally don't think he'd look (or be) healthy under 180.. I'd be perfectly happy if he exercised and ate nutritiously (neither of which will EVER happen) - to hell if the scale said he was slightly overweight (unless it looked like he really did have alot of extra fat to lose).0 -
I really do think that weight is a different thought process for men. The law of primacy effect if nothing else. In a gross generalization: boys can't wait to get 'big and strong' and fear being a '90-pound weakling'. Net result: boy's value increases with increased weight. The average girl is trained from a very young age (looks at her Barbie doll) that her value decreases if she weighs more. It is pretty hard to access net-positive role models for a big, strapping woman--fit or fat. Neither stereotype is healthy, but neither are they fully avoidable for most of us.
I don't think there's a woman alive who doesn't cringe at the label 'overweight'. I think it is really possible that men like themselves bigger and don't mind being a bit overweight at all. To a guy, he's just 'big' and for guys, big is good.
For me, it would be great to take away the angst of being overweight. It is really about health after all and for the longest time I was told I should weigh about 125#s which, when I tried to achieve it, was a bit too low for me and even for my Dr's tastes. However, by my height, it should be OK. And there isn't a slot for an average-height, strapping woman!
My 2 cents!0 -
Nice thoughts ladies and I agree! Much less pressure on men and boys to be thin. I have seen a great emphasis lately on being healthy at any size. There is even new research that suggests being overweight itself is not a risk factor for disease. Many are overweight but still leading a healthy lifestyle, like my hubby. This is desirable over an ideal weight person, for example, who smokes and has a poor diet.0
-
My opinion and one that has been stated by a few "experts" is that weight and BMI is an ever changing goal for each human. No chart can capture each and every human shape. For example I am 5'7" I currently weigh 237 and I wear size 16 plus size clothes. I am extremely large boned. My husband is 6'2" weighs 220 pounds and except for a bit of pudge on his belly he is pretty darn fit. Our gym did a full body fitness assessment for both of us and my ideal weight for my height and frame is 192 pounds, and yes I was initially shocked. My husband's ideal weight is 207 according to this fitness test.
There are so many factors involved with each and every body. I personally believe we should get to a weight that is healthy and comfortable. One of my brother's in law is 5'10" and 175 which is overweight by the "charts", he is a tri-athlete with little or no fat, so how can he be considered overweight? I am going to continue with MFP until I get to 190 and then reassess how I feel and look at that weight and decide whether to go in maintenance or lose more. Only I know, not a chart.
Joanne0 -
to the OP: yes, I do think men in general are more OK with an extra 20 lbs--certainly my husband is!
to Joanne--that's very interesting about your ideal weight! I'm also 237 and 5'7", and I'm in size 22s. More and more I'm convinced it's all about body fat percentages and not the number on the scale.
I think that's the real problem when folks have trouble losing, as well. You have more lean mass (that burns calories) than I do, yet all estimates would put our calorie needs the same. My fat doesn't need any calories, yet total weight is what is used to estimate desired intake! <shakes head>0 -
to the OP: yes, I do think men in general are more OK with an extra 20 lbs--certainly my husband is!
to Joanne--that's very interesting about your ideal weight! I'm also 237 and 5'7", and I'm in size 22s. More and more I'm convinced it's all about body fat percentages and not the number on the scale.
I think that's the real problem when folks have trouble losing, as well. You have more lean mass (that burns calories) than I do, yet all estimates would put our calorie needs the same. My fat doesn't need any calories, yet total weight is what is used to estimate desired intake! <shakes head>
Kerry doesn't that just go to show how you can't just assume anything regardless of height and weight. I find it amazing that we are the same weight and height yet such different body shapes. My wrist is 9" so for me I cannot wear any bracelets even ones for plus size ladies. Talk about happy days when the big watches became stylish!!0
