Revitilizating dinner..yet depressing
youdontknowme9
Posts: 73 Member
So, in my usual Keto highs where I can't stay in the house to save my life, I took my fiancee and we went an hour and a half to a bbq place near a friend I haven't seen in about 4 years or so.
A little background on our relationship. She was tiny, outgoing and very into herself when I knew her before. Fun to be with if you understood as long as she was happy, we all were. I was envious of her because I wanted to be tiny like her with all her friends and exciting life (I was at that time finishing up a divorce that was because my husband said I was too fat and trying to come to terms with how I looked.). I was a introvert and preferred to stay at home (at least that's what I told myself). And I told people I was comfortable in my own skin and was enjoying my life as it was.
Fast forward to now. She (who has been diabetic since she was 13) is now the weight I was then (I have surpassed that weight by good bit by now), stays home and keeps saying she is so comfortable in her skin. She has removed most of her friends from her life and claims to be happy, but that spark in her is gone. I however now am happy, losing weight, have more energy than ever, and according to her my skin has never looked better (must be the diet).
I now know why noone never believed me when I said those things 10 years ago and she seems motivated to lose weight after seeing how happy and energetic I have become. So, I am going to try to help her out and go visit her every other weekend to go walking, hoping that she will perk up. I miss that light in her eyes and wish she could go with me on this journey.
So, I guess to make this a question and not just a blog post, am I the only one having these moments of clarity and if so, is it wrong of me to try to encourage her to join me in a safe manner? Or should I watch her to possibly be a subconscious saboteur of my diet in the future?
Just wondering...it got me thinking.
A little background on our relationship. She was tiny, outgoing and very into herself when I knew her before. Fun to be with if you understood as long as she was happy, we all were. I was envious of her because I wanted to be tiny like her with all her friends and exciting life (I was at that time finishing up a divorce that was because my husband said I was too fat and trying to come to terms with how I looked.). I was a introvert and preferred to stay at home (at least that's what I told myself). And I told people I was comfortable in my own skin and was enjoying my life as it was.
Fast forward to now. She (who has been diabetic since she was 13) is now the weight I was then (I have surpassed that weight by good bit by now), stays home and keeps saying she is so comfortable in her skin. She has removed most of her friends from her life and claims to be happy, but that spark in her is gone. I however now am happy, losing weight, have more energy than ever, and according to her my skin has never looked better (must be the diet).
I now know why noone never believed me when I said those things 10 years ago and she seems motivated to lose weight after seeing how happy and energetic I have become. So, I am going to try to help her out and go visit her every other weekend to go walking, hoping that she will perk up. I miss that light in her eyes and wish she could go with me on this journey.
So, I guess to make this a question and not just a blog post, am I the only one having these moments of clarity and if so, is it wrong of me to try to encourage her to join me in a safe manner? Or should I watch her to possibly be a subconscious saboteur of my diet in the future?
Just wondering...it got me thinking.
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I now know why noone never believed me when I said those things 10 years ago and she seems motivated to lose weight after seeing how happy and energetic I have become. So, I am going to try to help her out and go visit her every other weekend to go walking, hoping that she will perk up. I miss that light in her eyes and wish she could go with me on this journey.
So, I guess to make this a question and not just a blog post, am I the only one having these moments of clarity and if so, is it wrong of me to try to encourage her to join me in a safe manner? Or should I watch her to possibly be a subconscious saboteur of my diet in the future?
Just wondering...it got me thinking.
That's good for you if she asked for such help and is receptive to it. I don't think it's wrong, but make sure you're reading her correctly. Is she ready to make changes and did she really want your help?
I am someone who does better marching to the beat of my own drummer. It's strange I suppose I like cyber support here on MFP, but I actually don't need people in my life to do the ketogenic diet with me.
My friends know I'm eating low carb. They can tell from the choices I make when we go out together that I'm not eating the same starchy things I used to. Except for one friend who is obese the others don't have a weight problem and the obese friend hasn't asked me for advice on how I'm losing weight although she comments on how I look different now, so I keep my keto meal plan to myself. It's such a tricky situation with the good friend "E" who is obese. She is a beach body coach and she knows about fitness, but doesn't seem motivated to follow a consistent meal plan. Her husband is the opposite. He gets up at 4 a.m. to go to the gym, so he can get that out of the way. I don't mind telling her what I do, but I want her to make that step and make it clear she's looking for guidance. I don't think E is at that point yet.0 -
My intent is to go visit her and just go walking. I won't force her to do anything or pressure her. She just asked a bunch of questions and I was willing to answer, but I am not going to push it.
I was just wondering if I'm the only having these moments of clarity....0 -
I think when people start something new be it keto or vegetarianism or something else that's working for us, we want to share it with others so that they also get the benefits. It's a natural human reaction. I know I can get carried away with the enthusiasm and so I watch myself so I don't seem like I'm pushing it on someone. Sounds like you're being a good friend to her..0
