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Honesty or Not

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2Bhealthier2
2Bhealthier2 Posts: 128 Member
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Are you the type of person who is honest with your friends on here or do you just say "liked" and stay out of their business?

I want people to say "hey you need to cut back on the sweets" or whatever it may be, be kind of course but be honest. I have days where I've ate like crap and people "like" my status, I don't get it.

Also, are you a friend who just wants as many friends as you can get or are you there to really give the moral support that we all seem to need?

Don't get me wrong I like my friends and definitely don't expect people to comment everyday we all have lives to live, just curious what other people think?
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Replies

  • jenmom2myboys
    jenmom2myboys Posts: 311 Member
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    I am a direct person but not mean. I don't care if I have 1 friend on here or 50. I just want to be friends with people who are positive, honest and have similar goals.
  • sdps720
    sdps720 Posts: 80 Member
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    I would rather a friend be honest with me whether I like it or not. After all a friend is someone that is supposed to be helping you along, lying is NOT helping.
  • Willcock25
    Willcock25 Posts: 8 Member
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    I think as long as a person delivers advice or support in a positive way it's a good thing & I sincerely agree that to 'like' a post where a person has had a bad day, over indulged, gone off the rails etc that's not so good. I know I joined MYP for true support and for someone to tell me what deep down I already know. It's people not being totally honest with me that's probably contributed to me being in this mess in the first place, that and my inability to realise that eating does not help my emotional state, be it happy, sad or angry. :smile:
  • gitnfit2
    gitnfit2 Posts: 203 Member
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    Pretty much I am an honest person which along those lines I do not always check a persons food diary but I will comment on things they do well oversize wise and when they had a good food day under their target. As for giving them a poke if they are slacking on exercise or what not it really depends on the friend. Some people are ok with it other not so much.
  • K8Fit
    K8Fit Posts: 31 Member
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    Oh! Oh! Add me! Add me! I will be more than happy to be that friend that cracks the whip or questions your food choices!!! LOL! :)
  • looklucklove
    looklucklove Posts: 128 Member
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    I don't think it's a contest to see how many friends I can I get, but I do want to get a lot friends, because I need a lot of support!

    I would like someone to be honest, but not mean. And from what I've seen on the forums in just the short time I've been here, there are A LOT of mean people around! This is a time when we all need as much support as possible, and one nasty comment would cause me to eat a bag of Ruffles!

    That being said, all nice people may feel free to add me! Haters stay away!
  • HappyTravels
    HappyTravels Posts: 22 Member
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    I swing a couple of ways. After a couple of days logging that don't look like their normal pattern, either I send them a note asking if everything is OK or I don't comment at all.

    The thing is you only see what is logged and unless they share (and they may not want to) there could be a whole host of reasons why they're not their usual selfs.

    I do find it difficult because I think who am I to judge someone else. Everyone has their own idea and plans on why and how to lose weight/gain fitness etc. What works for you may not work for me.

    I like to have friends who's approach is both the same and different to mine but am I not a friend collector. There's that comfort thing where you feel you're in tandem with someone and you can bounce ideas, borrow receipes etc, but I also like being able to see and support other approaches. Who knows at some point I may want or need to try it - if I get bored, start to falter or weightloss stalls.
  • 2Bhealthier2
    2Bhealthier2 Posts: 128 Member
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    Oh! Oh! Add me! Add me! I will be more than happy to be that friend that cracks the whip or questions your food choices!!! LOL! :)


    Lol, that's what I'm talking about.

    It sounds like most of us are the same, it just seems like some people just want "the friend status". Once in awhile I get on here and pour out my heart cuz I need the help/support and I'm lucky if I get more then two people on here to help. This is a struggle at times and sometimes that extra support is greatly appreciated.

    Happytravels-I agree, I definitely don't want to judge but as you said when you see something is off, what does it hurt to see if everything is okay and try to offer some positive advice.
  • K8Fit
    K8Fit Posts: 31 Member
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    All joking aside...

    It's very difficult because the problem is not food.
    The majority of my friends are also Fitbitters so I can talk exercise with them.
    Some of my MFP friends are not.

    It's difficult watching some mfp friends struggle and for me to not say anything. My educational background is in psychology. So when I see someone post a workout that they've burned "x" amount of calories and then turn around and reward themselves with food I want to ramble something off on the keyboard.

    I've pretty much kept my opinion to myself because I'm on a calorie reduced diet and I am cranky and I know I'll come off sounding like a complete and total jerk! Or Little Miss Bossy!

    Btw- I had a chocolate bar for dinner last night. Any of you guys want to click like on that?
  • knra_grl
    knra_grl Posts: 1,568 Member
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    personally I can't see myself lecturing someone on their food choices, if they are making an effort to log accurately and it's fitting into their macros who am I to judge? My eating habits aren't perfect so I have no place to lecture others. The only time I have expressed some "tough love" is if someone is eating too little on a regular basis. Healthy weight loss is a well balanced diet and allowing yourself to have some of the foods you like within reason. It needs to be sustainable.
  • Jeffy67
    Jeffy67 Posts: 112 Member
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    I think a person should be Honest (with friends and themselves) , Direct (without being mean) and a good listener.

    Feel free to add me :)
  • MsDillieBar
    MsDillieBar Posts: 414 Member
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    personally I can't see myself lecturing someone on their food choices, if they are making an effort to log accurately and it's fitting into their macros who am I to judge? My eating habits aren't perfect so I have no place to lecture others. The only time I have expressed some "tough love" is if someone is eating too little on a regular basis. Healthy weight loss is a well balanced diet and allowing yourself to have some of the foods you like within reason. It needs to be sustainable.

    ^This!
  • PlayBall5
    PlayBall5 Posts: 125
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    I am in total agreement with what all of you have said. One day I was totally discouraged and because MFP is a place where a macho man like me :) can actually share his feelings I decided to write a post. It was funny how everyone just hit "like" as they scrolled down the page. They didnt even read what I had wrote. Not one of them posted anythingon my wall to give me the support I needed. Since then I have made some wonderful friends and we are there everyday for one another. I also think if you want to be a true friend, you need to keep your list rather small so you can give the support you promised when you either requested or accpeted a friendship. I will never decline a friend offer because they may have read something I posted or was referred by another friend and I might have something to offer. I only delete if the friend is just a friend collector or isnt supportive or motivating in any way, or just simply never logs on. I want to be a good friend to all whether it be with humor, sarcasm, advice, a listeneing ear, motivating, or a good sports quote. I appreciate this post because I am on MFP daily and a lot of times hourly for the motivation and support. I have been able to accomplish remarkable things because of MFP. I have met some wonderful friends on the site. I am always looking for friends who are motivating, honest, supportive, active, and looking for friendships and not friend collectors. Anyone who reads this, feel free to send me a friend request. I would love to be your friend.
  • 72Christie
    72Christie Posts: 11 Member
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    personally I can't see myself lecturing someone on their food choices, if they are making an effort to log accurately and it's fitting into their macros who am I to judge? My eating habits aren't perfect so I have no place to lecture others. The only time I have expressed some "tough love" is if someone is eating too little on a regular basis. Healthy weight loss is a well balanced diet and allowing yourself to have some of the foods you like within reason. It needs to be sustainable.


    Me too.
  • OhioTallGuy
    OhioTallGuy Posts: 82
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    I am looking for just that! I don’t want thousands of friends I want as many who will help me along the way. Friends who will give me guidance and support! Friends who will kick me in the butt who will also help pick me up and I will be the same with them. I have just started down this path and I am no expert by any means and would love for people to tell me where I might be going wrong with things and to tell me what I am doing right. I don’t want to be lectured but there is a way to help without demeaning someone. Friends should be honest with each other right? That being said anyone please feel free to add me as friend!
  • keobooks
    keobooks Posts: 92 Member
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    It's hard to be honest sometimes. I have a friend here who grossly overestimates how many calories she burns in exercise. Like 3000 calories for a one hour walk. I don't feel that I know her well enough to say..err I don't think that's humanly possible. If she asked why she wasn't losing weight, I'd probably tell her my guess was that she was exaggerating her exercise and eating back calories she never lost. But I wouldn't just volunteer that out of the blue.

    Does that make me dishonest?
  • HornedFrogPride
    HornedFrogPride Posts: 283 Member
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    Honesty is the best policy, obeying the golden rule.
  • Traciaq
    Traciaq Posts: 29
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    Honest is good in real life with real friends here I avoid saying anything because we are here in the same place for the same reason and I am certainly no expert, however many times i would like to say things like housework, sweeping vacuuming, and grocery shopping aren't exercise equivalent to taking a shower and just part of everyday life just my opinion...
  • Jazzmene
    Jazzmene Posts: 9 Member
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    I think that is one of the best things about being 40~! I don't care how many friends I have, I say what I am thinking and people appreciate it... come to think of it that is why I got a raise at work! If I care about someone I give them the gift of my time and If I don't then I let them be. Honest, genuine and worry free... Its good to be 40!
  • dcresider
    dcresider Posts: 1,272 Member
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    I only give my honest opinion if asked, otherwise i keep mum. If there's something I don't like, I don't bother hitting the "like" button.

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