General Chit-Chat --part 4
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Holly, I'm having the same argument with the scale this week. I did really well on 9 days of travel and vacation. But hurting myself after getting home, being unable to exercise without tearing the leg wound open again has forced me into the really horrible reality of what my life used to be. Sitting in the chair watching hours of boring TV and mindless munching, generally of carb laden crap.
But, I'm going on my 5.1 mile hike tomorrow (I'll just bandage well.) Getting back to work on Monday should help as well. It is interesting, in a behavioral science way, of how the lack of exercise and eating poorly, and watching the scale climb has turned me ill tempered this week. Things I would have not been happy about before, but would have shaken off, have me at a boiling point this week. That I really have to shake before going back to work on Monday!
Add to this my wife is out of town; I've been averaging 5 hours of sleep a night this week; and I still haven't gotten the house back in shape from our return with boxes of stuff I picked up from my sister that Mom had left for me. (Hmmm. I wonder if going through all those memories isn't also working on my psyche...)
Ah well, things will be better soon. (and if they aren't, well, they certainly SHOULD be! :bigsmile: )0 -
Holly, I had that same problem last week with the extra treats. I made a deal with myself that it's "normal" to have a treat every now and then, but to make a note of it so I don't do it every day. It seems like a healthy goal, but I can't seem to accept that about some foods...or beverages. I'm just a skinny margarita junkie! Anyway, I haven't had a skinny margarita in a couple of days just because I want one enough to think of it. But dang it!
Dan, I must have been in a fog...what happened to your leg? A 5 mile hike seems ambitious if you have stitches (did that rhyme?) Anyway, take it easy, but not too easy! And I'm sure that the memory lane strolling could cause you some emotional eating. Face that and then enjoy your memories...maybe fix yourself some healthy snack alternatives and keep them nearby when you look though those boxes.0 -
It's not easy
thanks for weighing in on it Dan and LeAnna I appreciate being reminded that it's not just my battle! I have forgiven my past two weeks thankfully I didn't do too much damage and next Thursday I will weigh in! I don't want to get into the habit of choosing to be unaccountable!
2 weeks till my company moves out... And I know excuses don't help anyone but my house is currently burning through a dozen eggs and a loaf of bread every two days I can't afford to buy healthy food for those types of appetites! Since they don't pay to stay with me cheap food it is lol!
I am having a BBQ tomorrow for the little guys birthday and I did buy chicken breast burgers instead of having beef or hotdogs 0 -
@Holly - Good choice on burgers, and I understand on the budget aspects. You just have to hang in there for 2 more weeks, but then it'll be double down time. :bigsmile: Kidding, sort of. In 2 weeks you'll need to go through another period of adjustment to get the right foods in you again.
You have done pretty good though given the challenges you have had over the last few weeks. I hope the b-day stuff goes smooth as can be.0 -
I am so excited for everyone to move
So the other day I posted about my scale, and I took it Back out and was being nice to it and in the matter of two days it said first that I gained 9 lbs (I was like okay I was being horrible my bad) than the next day it dropped to 15 lbs and I was like okay no way did I didn't loose an arm or anything than the next day it was kinda close to what I expected up 2 lbs from my last weigh in, but I don't trust it... I believe it may actually be broken! So I will be without a scale till next pay day! ( and yes I weigh myself a few times a week though usually not daily)
Dan how was your hike???
LeAnna: it's hard to figure out the treat balance you have been doing great
Maelyn: I am looking so forward to my new budget and plans, it's going to be so different and your right it will take me a few weeks to get used to not eating the cheap filler foods!0 -
@Holly - I have gotten off of my scale, stepped back on and had over a three pound difference within seconds. Scales are finicky. Good luck on finding the one you want within your price range.0
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@Holly - On the scale. Is it a digital scale. May just need new batteries. Mine does that about every 4 months.
As for how was the hike - Well, now that DOMS has subsided, it was great! Although it was my first hot weather hike of the season and I did NOT take enough water. I did have rocks shift under me and I fell on the first, shorter, hike so I am sporting a sizable bruise on the knee of my poor left leg (same one with the corn on the foot AND the gash.)
Here is a shot that was shared with me. So far I've come, but so far yet to go. (Don't think about the big picture, Dan!) Ooooh, pun not intended...
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@Dan - That poor leg! It's going to rebel and run away if you're not careful! I am proud of how far you've come. You've really worked hard to get to where you are. You are hiking and doing all kinds of things to improve your health. What you have done for yourself is nothing short of amazing, Dan.
I am so nervous about tomorrow's weigh-in. I so want to see Twoterville. I am so very, very close. I peaked this morning and well, it is so damn close. I can't believe that I'm actually losing weight. That just seems unbelievable to me. My clothes are so baggy on me now. I have to tug up my underwear really high because I've lost some junk in the trunk and they sag down (and they are new!). It just seems surreal and that tomorrow, tomorrow I might be under 300. I have not been under 300 since December of 2011 and /that/ was from an episode with my eating disorder. The number I will cry when I see is 287. That is the weight I got down to in 2010 from months upon months of hard work before I was put on lithium after a serious suicide attempt resulting in lots of quick, dramatic weight gain. The notion, the mere idea I could see that number again makes me want to cry right now. I have no idea how I will react when I get below 172, the lowest weight when I was 15 before I was put on lithium for the first time. Or, fit into a size 20 pants..hasn't happened since I was 17....even when I lost 101 pounds in 2004...Everything seems so possible and so far away at the same time. It's like I'm walking in a dream.0 -
Dan, you look awesome...and happy. And not at all as beat up as you truly are!
Maelyn, that's you isn't it, Etherlilly? I am so sorry you have such struggles, but I'm glad to see you persevere and reach for your goals. I hope the weigh in goes well, but please don't let it get you down if it isn't as much as you'd like. You are doing the work, and you are getting there.0 -
Wow Dan great job!!!! I hope your new battle wounds heal quickly!
Maelyn: I am so excited for your weigh in as well, the 200 are a great feeling!
I have not gotten a new battery for my scale to see if that's the issue but I will get some this weekend and I will be around for the month end weigh in either way, if it's not the battery I will get a new scale next week!
My family is taking a 3 day trip to the states for some relaxing - or stress 4 kids one hotel room - so I know I am going to be having a few treats but I do plan to do some running around with the kids at the indoor water park and of course walking in the mall with my teenager! I also plan to eat lots of chicken and salads when we eat out, they may have some surprises but hopefully it won't be that bad
So the bad news, my mom can't find a place for June 1st sounds like she is stuck till July 1st
hopefully sooner but likely not! I am going to ask my friend to bring in the treadmill anyways for June 1 I will just put it in the middle of my living room till she moves! I don't want to wait any longer for it! Today we actually had nice weather and I did walk outside for a bit, but I was wearing flip flop sandals so it wasn't a long walk!
Well happy Friday everyone I will stop by at least once this weekend 0 -
Wow it must be summer where is everyone hiding at??
Well my trip was good, I walked a lot swam a fair bit, showed off my pretty expensive bathing suit that was designed solely to flatter the big gals, and ate way to much junk, missed half my logging, screwed up taking my meds and realized that I don't like 830 bed times for myself!
For the first trip with all 4 kids it was a success! Next time I will know to plan a little differently! I am working at getting back on track this week and purging all the crap out... I have been so hungry, carb craving since I got home because I over did it on the trip!
I know I gained a few lbs because all my pants are tight but I am not upset at all because it was a learning experience and I know how to get back on track.
Hope everyone is enjoying their May end 0 -
My mood has destabilized the last month and getting more and more dramatic on the mood swings. I saw my psychiatrist today. We're increasing my mood stabilizer to see if we can make a short term impact and keep it from really getting out of control (which with my history can happen pretty fast). Given that yet again my stability is faultering after just a few months it means meds may be part of the solution, but we are going to go to more extreme measures. On the 11th of June I have an ECT work up. In July we are going to start ECTs. If I disappear in July for bits and pieces it will likely be because my memory has been messed up. I'm likely to forget things within the recent past as well. If I seem ditzy I apologize in advance, but having electricity shot through your brain to induce a seizure does a lot of things, good things as well. I have already been checked for seizures, don't have them. It's still a month away, but I'm thinking about it now to start prepping for it. I have to get a datebook and start writing appointments down on my white board again. I may have to go a day or two without exercising after a treatment as well to give my muscles a chance to recover. Diet will have to be spot on with potassium, sodium, and chlorine to keep up my electrolytes.
Another interesting thing happened at the appointment as well. The nurse that took me in back looked at the chart for my last weight and kept sliding the weight further and further and further back. I started to look very confused as he continued to read the chart from my last visit. My CSS and I got a kick out of that. I weighed in at the doctor at 297 (fully clothed with shoes!).
@Holly - Yep, as you said it was a learning experience. Everything we do enables us to learn to do better in the next moment. You have a great attitude about it. I am glad things went good on the vacation and hope next year's will be even better.0 -
I hope these treatments go well for you! I'm not sure if I ever mentioned that my sister has bipolar and some other mental health issues, I have a second hand good understanding of the mood cycles so I think it is amazing that you are still so in control! You can do this!
I did weigh in today and I was up 2.5 lbs (got the scale working) but I don't expect it to stick around for long! I am hopeful for the next few weeks and I even brought my water bottle to work today and had a little more breakfast in hopes of curbing my lunch time appetite!
I am interviewing for another new position at work next week, and although many people don't know about it and it is a lateral move not a promotion I think it will benefit me in the long run, it will give me some additional experience that will help promote me later on! The advice I got from my last attempt at promotion was to get more program experience, step away from the paperwork! Hopefully this works, and if not it's just for 9 months
Anyways back to work, I think my work load keeps doubling0 -
Wow, almost everybody has disappeared.
Hey Holly! I hope you get the position that you've applied for.
Hi Maelyn! I hope the increase of meds help to stabilize everything ouy.
Life has been busy and I've been fighting myself foodwise this month. Not sure where my head is at. I walked a 5km with the kids last Saturday. The kids made it but I think it was a bit much for them. I thought it was a lot of fun though. I'm thinking of taking up running.
We're on a countdown till school ends... soccer is running 5 nights a week and there is little to no free time at our house right now. It'll be really nice to have a break from the kids routines. :yawn:
talk to y'all later!0 -
I am interviewing on Tuesday morning for it, I am not sure if it will work out but I am working towards making something different in my life!
A few weeks ago my cousin was in a really bad quad wreck and I finally got to see her on Friday! I felt so sad for her because she was so hurt and than she still cooked me dinner! It was crazy! They also bought a house and are moving in 2 weeks so I was helping her pack! I am going to go back I think later this week and see if I can't help her pack some more! It is crazy how things happen so close together!
Anyways I am off to a Cook out, time for some of my new lines to use since I am sure it will be a lot of fattening dishes, and I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings I think I will develop some food allergies!0 -
Holly, sorry about your cousin. I'm glad she's ok though! Brutal that it happened right before a house move... I'm glad you could help her out for a bit. How did your "allergies" do? :laugh:
I got a compliment yesterday. A female coworker comes into the kitchen and looks at me twice and says "Are you on a diet or something? Every time I come into the kitchen you look smaller." (add a Newfoundland accent to it.) I don't really like talking about it though... makes me uncomfortable. Sometimes I feel an overwhelming urge to say I have a wasting sickness. Not sure if that's funny or sad.
My eating has been all over the place... I think that I'm starting to self-sabotage. Sometimes willpower is all that keeps you going.
ttyl!0 -
Okay so I got the new position, I will switch positions in July!
The allergies worked well and I had one hot dog and the salad I made! (Brocolli, bacon, craisins and coleslaw - amazing)
I have been up and down though with eating, it's getting harder to keep making healthy meals for so many people! But my weight is staying stable - I am not loosing but I am feeling okay still I know it's just a matter of weeks till I get my House my kitchen and my
Menu back! Yesterday my mom made French fries and breakfasts sausage for dinner and I ate it... No more than 27 days to go lol!
Pixy: it's hard to take compliments and I hate the word diet so I understand how that could make you uncomfortable just know it's about a healthy lifestyle not some fast diet!0 -
Holly, Congrats on the new position!!! It must be really hard with your mom. It was bad for me too, she'd bring home pizza or decide to have wings or rib bits... it would kill my day. The help was nice but it's hard to focus around that type of temptation! How's the treadmill working out?
Well my eating has been off this week. :ohwell: I'm going up instead of down this week when I post to the forum. OOPS, not thrilled. I need to get my head back on right. I started snacking to reduce my meals and I think my snacking has got away from me. :frown: I'll do better next week.0 -
Treadmill can't come till the mother leaves! I have no more room for it!!! I am doing some walking outside with our nice weather!
I have a lot in my head but no words to express this mess! Sigh!0 -
@P1xy - Interesting. Are you doing set times snacking? In reality eating 5 or six small meals per day? or are you snacking whenever to reduce the amount you will eat at a real meal? What are you snacking on? Healthy, good food or are you getting a lot of extra carbs in on these snacks? While I know you aren't in the same category as I, the nurse I last spoke with made a lot of sense for anyone: Limit carbs to meal time only try to have only protein at snack times. It will keep you satisfied longer and help you in the losing process. Now if I hadn't been surgically altered, I would probably be urging you to eat fruit or oatmeal or something with a lot of fiber in it. That would be an option too.
Hang in there. You have really done an amazing job, as you pictures show!
@ Holly - Hang tight, and enjoy the outside walking now. I'd gladly trade some of our ridiculous record breaking heat for some of your pleasant! lol Whatever mess is in your head, the walking will help.0
