Do you share with your partner?

RachelRuns9

I've only very recently started to talk to my significant other about my BED. I don't LIKE talking about it, at ALL I hate it. I'm a very private person especially when it comes to my weaknesses.

So, I want to tell him today that I've fallen off the bandwagon for the past week and that I could use some help. I know he's here for me and that he will be supportive, but I hate hearing that faint sound of disappointment in his voice when he hears that I've done it again. I understand that it can be hard for people to understand BED when they have never had any issues like this themselves, but I hate feeling like I've let him down. He really believes in my ability to beat this.

So, do any of you push through the fear of sharing and do it anyway?

sherambler

I had a revelation one night. I thought I'd been really honest with my longterm boyfriend.It had taken me years to start talking about my weight and my insecurities. I guess I kind of was hoping that he hadn't noticed I was fat and thought that talking about it would only bring attention to my eating and weight gain. Once I started talking to him, i thought I'd done a good job explaining what it was like. I figured that he'd heard me complain about me weight, heard me repeat what my therapist and I talk about, and he'd held me during my crying fits (caused from depression, not necessarily bingeing). And I, too, could hear that bit of disappointment, almost exasperation, in his voice. As if he were thinking, "Really? This again?" He's overweight too. But then one night, we'd decided to go get ice cream, and once we made the agreement to go, I was just wired. I put my shoes on. I paced waiting for the show to end so we could go. And then my boyfriend was taking forever and I was getting irritable and feeling guilty, knowing that I shouldn't eat it. You know, just showing extreme signs of food addiction. And he got made at me for being grumpy and he couldn't understand why and it all just came out. I blurted out how all I could focus on was the promise of ice cream, that I'd space out when he was talking because I was so excited to get it, that my hands were getting shaky, and that I knew once I'd taste the ice cream that all that stress would melt away and be gone for those few short minutes while I savored it. Anyway, he said to me "I'd never realized it was like that." I think for the first time re recognized binge eating as an addiction, not just some bad habit or mere carelessness. I didn't intend for it to happen, but it made me feel better, made me feel like I had a real ally, and he actually thanked me for helping him understand better. It feels nice not having to hold all that in, but I definitely understand the fear of judgment. I was so relieved by his response.

RachelRuns9

Thanks for sharing