Aha moment
MadeOfMagic
Posts: 525 Member
About a month ago my best friend/soul mate passed away, he was battling depression and alcoholism for a long time and accidently combined alcohol with something else that cost him his life. I am myself a high functioning alcoholic, I don’t drink to get drunk/tipsy but do it mostly out of boredom; because of my high tolerance I drink 12-15 beers on each weekday and 15-20 each weekend day. After his death I contemplated quitting alcohol but couldn’t find the push I needed. His father and brother recommended for me to read a book “Awakening the Buddha Within” to help me deal with his passing, the entire book teaches you to deal with life and gives you a new perspective on how to look at all things/events/people around you. I have slowly noticed change in my attitude, feeling and how I felt, all positive. On Friday when I was reading the book and it covered how to liberate yourself from your “wants” or uncontrollable desires (addictions/anything you are obsessed over+with/anything that controls your life/etc). It opened up my mind and how deeply I wanted to free myself from the constant desire for alcohol.
I successfully didn’t drink all weekend and the funny thing is I didn’t crave the alcohol. Weekends are the hardest time to quit because I get bored easily, but I thought it was the best option so that way I can get used to falling asleep without booze, and it was hard, it took me 2-3hours to fall asleep on Saturday and around 1 hr last night but I didn’t let that get me down. After going the entire day on Saturday without even desiring alcohol, when I was getting ready for bed and listening to music, it hit me…I felt free from alcohol, it lost control over me, it was a perfect moment of clarity… I broke down crying but from happiness, it was a different kind of freedom than before. I quit in the past but it still controlled me and I still desired/thought of it but I battled against the desire. This time was different I didn’t have to control it because it didn’t have control over me…I felt like a weight has lifted from me, a moment of enlightenment. I don’t think I have ever felt better.
My main focus during this weekend was just quitting alcohol and now this week I am going to incorporate healthy eating back in and then this following weekend and following week add in exercise. Reading this book I realized how important meditation and being self-aware is so I am going to add yoga and meditation into my regimen. I am excited
I successfully didn’t drink all weekend and the funny thing is I didn’t crave the alcohol. Weekends are the hardest time to quit because I get bored easily, but I thought it was the best option so that way I can get used to falling asleep without booze, and it was hard, it took me 2-3hours to fall asleep on Saturday and around 1 hr last night but I didn’t let that get me down. After going the entire day on Saturday without even desiring alcohol, when I was getting ready for bed and listening to music, it hit me…I felt free from alcohol, it lost control over me, it was a perfect moment of clarity… I broke down crying but from happiness, it was a different kind of freedom than before. I quit in the past but it still controlled me and I still desired/thought of it but I battled against the desire. This time was different I didn’t have to control it because it didn’t have control over me…I felt like a weight has lifted from me, a moment of enlightenment. I don’t think I have ever felt better.
My main focus during this weekend was just quitting alcohol and now this week I am going to incorporate healthy eating back in and then this following weekend and following week add in exercise. Reading this book I realized how important meditation and being self-aware is so I am going to add yoga and meditation into my regimen. I am excited
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Replies
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Congratulations! That is an awesome revelation! So glad you are starting on a healthier you and freeing yourself from the destructive grip of alcohol. It is tough but you can do it!0
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Bravo for you and THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for sharing your story. I see myself in your story. I drink 6 beers each nite and if I have a really good or bad day 8. It is hard when you are in a life that revolves around daily happy hours and such. My husband and I are really trying to wean off the alcohol because we need to lose weight and get our life back. I am going to pick up the book at the library today. Thank you again.
Tricia0
