I hope I can begin to like myself more.

kasterrett

Hi, I'm Kat. I'm a first time mom and I have a terrible relationship with food (I think you can all understand). My daughter is four months old and since she was born (she was unplanned and unexpected, but of course welcome!), she's been a real pistol. She is cute when she's cute but when she decides she no longer wants to be cute, she's incredibly hard to please.

You know how some moms say that their kids drive them to drinking? Well, mine drives me to eating. When she's crying and I can't control her or make it better, I start to munch. One day, I ate an entire jar of cookie butter on top of graham crackers (made me sick). Another, I ate an entire pack of "cookies and cream" wafers (they usually come in vanilla, strawberry, chocolate). My binge eating has always gotten the better of me but it's so much worse...and I don't even blame her. I blame myself. I feel like an awful human being for not being able to care for my daughter correctly.

Anyway, I'm a mess inside, and I'm hoping offering support and getting support from you wonderful folks will help. I know I deserve better. I know my daughter deserves better. I have tried to face this demon so many times. I hope I can get somewhere this time.

PS - would love some new friends.

beccasaur387

When my oldest son was born, he had to go onto formula because he had jaundice really bad and they needed him to poop it all out. He stuck to formula and he eventually became SUPER constipated. There were times where he would cry and cry and because he was so constipated he would cry if I held him. We tried everything and for the first 4-6 months it was super stressful. I think we only ate fast food during that time. I also had terrible post partum depression.

My husband sometimes works long hours and sometimes is sent out of town. Whenever he went out of town, I'd get excited knowing I can go to the grocery store, buy all of my favorite junk foods, order a pizza, eat it all in a few days, and the evidence would be all gone by the time my husband got home. Now, my oldest tries to eat whatever I eat. We don't give our oldest junk food so I feel bad when I'm eating it and telling him no. I want to be able to prepare healthy snacks for myself and be comfortable with my son sharing with me. I want to set that good example for both my boys.

Even though your baby is probably only starting baby food, it'll be in no time before she's eating solid food. Next time you reach for the bad foods ask yourself if you'd be comfortable giving it to your girl. If not, then out of sight out of mind and grab something that you both could potentially share.

kasterrett

Gosh Becca, I'm sorry for your bad experience too. Poor little guy, so constipated Winter is breastfed and just barely beginning to show interest in food, so I haven't even started introducing her to anything, but you're right, it'll be happening soon. I just need to get myself into the habit of asking myself that each and every time I reach for something. "Is it good enough for my daughter?"

heathy84

My daughter had sleep apnea because of enlarged adenoids and she cried ALL the time. She didn't sleep through the night for 26 months and for the first 17 months of it I binge ate because I felt so out of control. I would lay her down and she would cry and I would go to the pantry first thing. It got better and I finally decided it wasn't making me happy either way so I started to try to take care of myself and it worked. I lost weight and I eventually found a doctor who believed what was happening wasn't normal. It is really hard to be a mom but when you have a baby that won't stop crying or that is difficult it adds more stress. You are definitely not alone in that