A "Treat" is no treat at all...
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ThriftyChica12
Posts: 373 Member
Hello there!
Just a post to share my experience, and connect with others who may relate:
When I am eating clean and following my food plan (I created a plan where I abstain from sugar, fried foods, processed/junk foods...and eat REAL food instead), I am happy and blissful.
However, I soon become so happy and energetic that I forget the painful bloating, nausea, etc of my last binge.
Then, I start thinking I can have a "treat". But that is no treat at all. It is more like a punishment...I punish myself by eating a food I KNOW I cannot handle or digest well, and that days or WEEKS of crazed compulsive eating follow.
Five days ago, I "innocently" ate some french fries that some friends had ordered for our table. Those are a trigger food for me, but since i had been feeling so good about my food for a few weeks, i thought i could "handle" it.
It has taken five days of binging to realize what happened. I just came up for air this morning. Five days of cravings, compulsive eating, nausea, gas, mental fog....why???
My biggest challenge is the magical "amnesia" that seems to happen: how did I "forget" that I am a compulsive overeater, that junk food makes me feel sick in body and mind, and that clean eating makes me feel well.
The best period in my life, foodwise, was the 3 years I was first in Overeaters Anonymous...during that time, in addition to extensive journal writing, group support, and introspection, i abstained from SUGAR and REFINED FLOUR hard and fast: i treated them like alcohol to the alcoholic...a dangerous substance that i could not trifle with.
I lost 70 lbs and kept it off doing that.
Then, i thought: "I have been thin for years, i can *handle* the sugar"
the ridiculous magical thinking!
HOW DO I EAT CLEAN LONG TERM? HOW DO I STOP THE FORGETTING? HOW I DO FOLLOW MY PERSONAL GUIDELINES WITH FRIENDS, AT RESTAURANTS AND ON A DAY TO DAY BASIS?
I am so ready to get off the compulsive eating merry go round!
Just a post to share my experience, and connect with others who may relate:
When I am eating clean and following my food plan (I created a plan where I abstain from sugar, fried foods, processed/junk foods...and eat REAL food instead), I am happy and blissful.
However, I soon become so happy and energetic that I forget the painful bloating, nausea, etc of my last binge.
Then, I start thinking I can have a "treat". But that is no treat at all. It is more like a punishment...I punish myself by eating a food I KNOW I cannot handle or digest well, and that days or WEEKS of crazed compulsive eating follow.
Five days ago, I "innocently" ate some french fries that some friends had ordered for our table. Those are a trigger food for me, but since i had been feeling so good about my food for a few weeks, i thought i could "handle" it.
It has taken five days of binging to realize what happened. I just came up for air this morning. Five days of cravings, compulsive eating, nausea, gas, mental fog....why???
My biggest challenge is the magical "amnesia" that seems to happen: how did I "forget" that I am a compulsive overeater, that junk food makes me feel sick in body and mind, and that clean eating makes me feel well.
The best period in my life, foodwise, was the 3 years I was first in Overeaters Anonymous...during that time, in addition to extensive journal writing, group support, and introspection, i abstained from SUGAR and REFINED FLOUR hard and fast: i treated them like alcohol to the alcoholic...a dangerous substance that i could not trifle with.
I lost 70 lbs and kept it off doing that.
Then, i thought: "I have been thin for years, i can *handle* the sugar"
the ridiculous magical thinking!
HOW DO I EAT CLEAN LONG TERM? HOW DO I STOP THE FORGETTING? HOW I DO FOLLOW MY PERSONAL GUIDELINES WITH FRIENDS, AT RESTAURANTS AND ON A DAY TO DAY BASIS?
I am so ready to get off the compulsive eating merry go round!
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Let me preface this by saying this is in no way an even comparison. I dated this guy in high school, it was great for a few weeks and then he would be a real jerk and hurt my feelings and I'd boo hoo in my pillow all night and feel really awful about myself when we broke up, and then after a few weeks we'd get back together, because it was going to be *different* this time! I too was flabbergasted every time I came crashing down as to *how* I had fallen into it again. It was that magical amnesia. So I started saving AIM (remember AOL Instant Messenger?!?) conversations that were especially hurtful, or writing down mean things he had said or done. I had to refer to them every time he started talking to me again, to remind myself why I wasn't going to go there.
I see you mentioned that you found journaling productive in the past, so maybe if you continue to journal, noting the way you feel physically and mentally when you're eating clean and when you binge. It might be hard to refer to your journal when you're out to eat with friends, but hopefully the mindfulness of journaling could help you through that. Or maybe a little note on your phone, or something you can read that is a motivation from yourself not to give in. Hope I helped, or someone with more relevant ideas comes along!0 -
i love that idea, and it IS a great comparison...junk food IS like an abusive partner, and i am ready to break up...for good! been journaling again, and it has been helpful---so thank u so much
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journalling is a great idea. You could also save a pic to your phone that would remind you of how you feel post eating the trigger foods so when your out with friends you can look at the picture before making the impulsive decision to eat the foods. or even save a list of how you feel to refer to. Hope this helps0
