People who say they'll never get married

JanieJack

Nevermind.

TheKitsune6

I was just summoned but then nothing was here. Confusing!

AnnaPixie

lol....why did you change your mind?......I've never married, been asked several times, but I dont believe in it, for numerous reasons, not least because of the poor role models I had as parents. So I guess if your question was "Did you mean it when you said you'd never get married?" The defining answer is YES!! :bigsmile:

JanieJack

I wasn't really wanting to get married again, but I also was fairly clear once I got into a relationship that we wouldn't be dating for years and no marriage (mainly b/c of my view on reserving sex for marriage) so anyone I dated long term needed to be someone I could see changing my mind about marriage. Most guys I dated did not change my mind about marriage.

The original post was spurred by finding out the last of the guys I dated who told me "I'll never get married" got hitched. So that makes all of them. And they all got married before me (date is set for summer 2015), which tells me that deep down inside few of us really, truly, hate the institution of marriage. Deep down inside I think we're all searching for someone who helps us feel awesome about ourselves and carries with them the promise of feeling that way forever.

flimflamfloz

I don't think I will ever get married personally. I'm not religious, and I don't have this "dream" of getting married some day either.

I think the forever thing is nice, but I don't think that getting married would bring much more things into the relationship. I am not opposed to it, and don't hate it, though.

Just not my thing.

AnnaPixie

I wasn't really wanting to get married again, but I also was fairly clear once I got into a relationship that we wouldn't be dating for years and no marriage (mainly b/c of my view on reserving sex for marriage) so anyone I dated long term needed to be someone I could see changing my mind about marriage. Most guys I dated did not change my mind about marriage.

The original post was spurred by finding out the last of the guys I dated who told me "I'll never get married" got hitched. So that makes all of them. And they all got married before me (date is set for summer 2015), which tells me that deep down inside few of us really, truly, hate the institution of marriage. Deep down inside I think we're all searching for someone who helps us feel awesome about ourselves and carries with them the promise of feeling that way forever.

My best friend - male - always said he'd never get married. But he got married!! :laugh: However, the reason he got married is that his g/f wanted to and pretty much said she's leave him if the didn't marry her. Fast forward 6 years and they are divorced.

I'm of the opinion that women more want to get married than men, and that if given an ultimatum the man will go along with it. Not ever heard a story of the reverse but I guess some men want the marriage thing too.

I dont believe you need to be married for your partner to make you feel awesome. I tend to think that there are men out there that offer this kind of reassurance and there are men that don't, married or not. In fact, I'm pretty sure as the years pass by the compliments run dry too. But then again, I'm just talking LONG term relationships now which invariably lose their sparkle along the way........:noway:

Not ALL of them!! I know some long term couples that still have that sparkle, but far and few......sadly :brokenheart:

farmers_daughter

My best friend - male - always said he'd never get married. But he got married!! :laugh: However, the reason he got married is that his g/f wanted to and pretty much said she's leave him if the didn't marry her. Fast forward 6 years and they are divorced.

I was that man ^!!!
I was given an ultimatum, I was young, had been drug far away from home, naieve, had not dated anyone else-ever, scared and depended on this guy. So I said yes.
6 years later I left the douche. He gave me two beautiful children that he does not care to have anything to do with, I am happy to have what I have.

I believe all too much it is women now days that are competing with other women to get married first, to have a man first...Have a bigger wedding, have the most babies, get to stay at home....OMg you name it.

Honestly, unless there are huge tax breaks or a financial incentive to being "married" screw it. No. You keep your *kitten*, I'll keep mine..... God I'm glad I know this now.

I guess I feel like it's easier to "leave" if you aren't married, so that makes it much more satisfying to know that they are staying even though it's "easier" to leave.
And if you need to take a vacation aka "have space" go, get the hell outta here....and when you're done with your funk. I'll be here. Just don't bring back any cooties. Please.

AnnaPixie

I guess I feel like it's easier to "leave" if you aren't married, so that makes it much more satisfying to know that they are staying even though it's "easier" to leave.
And if you need to take a vacation aka "have space" go, get the hell outta here....and when you're done with your funk. I'll be here. Just don't bring back any cooties. Please.

I love you Crystal!! :laugh:

I figure that it's more 'real' without the paper too. Nothing and nobody says you have to be there, you're there because you WANT to be :flowerforyou:

sewerchick93

although I'm 46 and have never been married, I don't say I'll never get married. However, I'm not going to settle for less than what I deserve just because I want to be married. I will marry when I know in my heart that it is right.

Tube_socks

Marriage.. Such a heavy word! I'm divorced... Been there done that. Not sure if I want to get married again. Some days I want the wedding, the last name, the romantic and legal side of it but other days I'm like hell noooo. Never again.

Who knows. And I love my bf (live together now). But yikes! I like knowing that I'm here because I want to be and he's here because he wants to as well.

thecarbmonster

which tells me that deep down inside few of us really, truly, hate the institution of marriage. Deep down inside I think we're all searching for someone who helps us feel awesome about ourselves and carries with them the promise of feeling that way forever.

This is how I feel about most "normal" institutions I should be partaking. I am single and not looking to mingle. I am not ready to pop out kids. I try to be careful and not declare my current "never having kids" intentions too harshly, because it can be taken as an insult to my friends that do have kids, so I put a disclaimer that "I might feel different if I meet the right one". I am not currently looking or have marriage or kids as part of my intentions/desires, but I'm not putting up the barriers either. I'm not going to stop fate :P

maria1113

I really don't see myself as married. I actually haven't really ever dreamed of a wedding or getting married (does that mean that I'm not a girl?? :laugh: ).
I'm not really motherly type and I really don't see the point of continuing my faulty genes So no point to get married. I haven't been in long term relationship ever, and I highly doubt that I ever will. But who knows

Begood03

Marriage is the best way to ruin a perfectly good relationship.

BringingSherriBack

Marriage.. Such a heavy word! I'm divorced... Been there done that. Not sure if I want to get married again. Some days I want the wedding, the last name, the romantic and legal side of it but other days I'm like hell noooo. Never again.

Who knows. And I love my bf (live together now). But yikes! I like knowing that I'm here because I want to be and he's here because he wants to as well.

Right now this is where my bf and I both are. We are both divorced with kids. We live together and are more committed to each other than most married couples, but idk that we will ever get married. Not anytime in the near future anyway. We totally see a future together and love each other and our family, but marriage isn't going to make us anymore committed than we already are. We are together because we want to be together not because it's a pain in the *kitten* to bail if things go bad.

Temporalia

Been married, been divorced, been there, done that too...so I don't think i'll ever marry again.

I live in a province where after a year living together you are considered common-law partners and it gives you some protection in case of a separation. According to the 2011 Canadian census, about 38% of the population of my province live in common-law relationships.

Plus religion got kicked out partially in the 60s, so I can't say we are really religious too. Weddings are more a matter of a union between two people than religion these days.

So, nope, not getting married again.

sweetcurlz67

I don't know... even after the HE11 I've been through: 22 years - I won't go into all the details but he was an alcoholic & abusive (physically but mostly mentally & emotionally), I still hold out hope for a future marriage! at first I was like ohhhh HE11 NOOOOO.... but after over two years being away from that relationship, I do see myself down the road with someone and committing my life to a 'best friend'. I know it won't happen overnight. may not have even met him yet. but some day it might happen - and yet again, it might not. either way, I'm good. I won't prevent it, that's for sure. I'm open.

gym_king_carlie

Ive always been against myself marrying in the era i'm in, but, I would marry the girl i am seeing in an instant lol (dont take it literally) but shes is my june carter to my johnny cash. . . . . 3 months ago I would have laughed, but its rare to meet someone with the same values and have a really good friendship.

but I would never ever consider it or think of it before, maybe I'm turning into such a girl lol

Jennifer10723

Ive always been against myself marrying in the era i'm in, but, I would marry the girl i am seeing in an instant lol (dont take it literally) but shes is my june carter to my johnny cash. . . . . 3 months ago I would have laughed, but its rare to meet someone with the same values and have a really good friendship.

but I would never ever consider it or think of it before, maybe I'm turning into such a girl lol

I would get married again if I had this. It would have to be a perfect storm. I haven't come close to that yet.

Follow_me

Not me. I want to get married. :-)

sofaking6

although I'm 46 and have never been married, I don't say I'll never get married. However, I'm not going to settle for less than what I deserve just because I want to be married. I will marry when I know in my heart that it is right.

Same here, although I will definitely never have a wedding or bachelorette or shower. I find them pretty distasteful for the most part. I also keep remembering that 'marriage' is traditionally a transfer of ownership of a woman from her father to her husband.

dbrightwell1270

although I'm 46 and have never been married, I don't say I'll never get married. However, I'm not going to settle for less than what I deserve just because I want to be married. I will marry when I know in my heart that it is right.

Same here, although I will definitely never have a wedding or bachelorette or shower. I find them pretty distasteful for the most part. I also keep remembering that 'marriage' is traditionally a transfer of ownership of a woman from her father to her husband.

You must be awesome if your father hasn't been willing to sell you yet.

sofaking6

although I'm 46 and have never been married, I don't say I'll never get married. However, I'm not going to settle for less than what I deserve just because I want to be married. I will marry when I know in my heart that it is right.

Same here, although I will definitely never have a wedding or bachelorette or shower. I find them pretty distasteful for the most part. I also keep remembering that 'marriage' is traditionally a transfer of ownership of a woman from her father to her husband.

You must be awesome if your father hasn't been willing to sell you yet.

Sadly, it's quite the opposite Best offer he's gotten is 1/2 goat (probably the back half) and a sack of dirty rags.

OneGoodBean

I'm almost 30. I've only had two relationships and they lasted roughly 4 months before they both said, "Let's just be friends." Honestly, I really really want to get married some day. I do. However, at this point, I honestly don't think it's in the cards for me. I just have never found anyone that's interested in me and honestly it sucks. So, I guess I'm in a weird group that says "I'll never get married" but not for lack of wanting, just lack of hope.

pa_jorg

Same here, although I will definitely never have a wedding or bachelorette or shower. I find them pretty distasteful for the most part.

I thought I was the only one! Have a family wedding coming up soon and I am already sooooo over it.

lsgibbs83

I don't see myself getting married again for a number of reasons. That's not saying I don't want a committed relationship. I just don't need a piece of paper to prove it.