Starting Over Again

kaihunter45

Hello everyone. Thank you for taking the time to read this. I started on MFP over a year ago and I did very well, losing over 60 lbs. Then I started to backslide a little but basically maintain. Near the end of last year my father passed away rather suddenly and I had trouble expressing my grief in anyway but eating. This year Tigger, my 13 year old tabby cat, got sick and ended up passing away at the end of July. I ate my way through Tigger's illness too. There's also always the regular stresses of life, work, family and financial. Yes, I've eaten my way through all of it and when I finally weighed myself last week I had gained all the weight back plus a little over 5 lbs for good measure. So here I am, starting over again and I need help. To get to the point, what I am really looking for now is friends to help me deal with the emotional eating and provide support and motivation. In return I will do the same for you. Thanks again! Kai

HisStrengthCounselor

Welcome back, we have all been where you are but it does not mean you have to stay this way. Changing the way you think and how you deal with emotions is the key to beating the yo-yo cycle. It's not easy dealing with loss of loved ones so don't beat your self up too badly. It sounds like you turned off your thought process to stay on the healthy path, it's easy to shift the focus and go back to unhealthy habits. What has helped me this go round is to really start using the tools I have accumulated over the years from yo-yo dieting. I make a conserted effort to keep my short term and long goals on the forefront of my mind, no matter what is going on in my life. I recognize triggers to bad eating and make a conscious choice to do something else rather than eat, I pray to my Lord Jesus Christ to give me strenght to get thru what ever is bothering me. Also being thankful for all the blessings I have. Emotional eaters are conditioned to use food for comfort, it can unconditioned. Instead of having long term goals, I have 'life' goals, I want to cotinue this behavior for the rest of my life on this earth. We can all succeed with the help and tools available to use. You can do it.:flowerforyou:

Patttience

Nice post by tagskee.

Hi and welcome back to the weightloss journey. Well this year i have been determined to manage my stress better for the particular purpose of my weightloss project. And so far its been very good - nearly 8 full months down the track. I have had some stresses to deal with along the way but addressed the situations. That said, if i had the death of a loved one, i don't know if i would succumb too. You can't really know until the situation arises i guess. I think grief or depression is bound to bring you unstuck. It was probably unavoidable.


But looking ahead now, As tag said, you have to be thinking ahead and trying to learn from past experiences. What were you thinking when you started backsliding - did you start to think you didn't need to say no so much or just stopped watching what you were doing? Now you might have to learn that you can't be quite so relaxed about it all so soon. I think it takes quite a while to create new habits and let the old ones die and i am sure they are always ready to switch sides again when opportunity presents.

So for stress now, i find a councillor to talk to. You have to be able to process the issue that's going on to get to the point that the problem is not weighing on your mind anymore. This may require just thinking things through successfully on your own, or it may requires talking it through with someone and they can show you are better perspective, or it may require talking through and some strategic thinking and planning to start addressing the problems you are facing. Anyway either a change of perspective or taking action will ultimately solve all your stress problems. you might be able to do it every time without the need of a supportive ear but i like having someone to go talk things through with. It helps my thinking process. They are like a sounding board and it really moves things a long fast.

Anyway if you find you can't solve it on your own and you get to the point of wanting to eat and quit your diet, you've probably left it too long. Go and see someone sooner. Find a councillor or visit your doctor or a priest if religious. Try different people and use more than one if it helps. I have up to five options i can turn to for support: my gp, a helpline, my psychologist, the women who work at the neighbourhood centre where i volunteer, the social worker at another community centre in a nearby town. I use them all but mostly i've solved my problem and stress within one or two sessions and i'm usually feeling immediately tons better after the one session. Mind you've i had a lot of therapy and done a lot of psychological skills development. For all that i still can't do it all on my own.

This year i've had financial struggles - the first time i've been in debt - , threats to my new business and subsequent business failure, some interpersonal issues with a group i'm involved with and a variety of other less upsetting worries to deal with but the former problems were the ones that sent me seeking outside help. I haven't succumbed to a binge once, or broken any of my diet rules, or have any regrets and my resolve and commitment to my weightloss is stronger than ever. And i feel good and happy. And loving my food.