New looking for some anti binge help

Fat2_Fit

Hello, I have had many MFP accounts before so I know how this all works but i never used the groups before. I hoesntly didn't even know this was here. LOL Anyway, the reason I keep deleting my accounts and making news ones is because I binge all the freaking time and I HAVE to log everything. Eventually i get tired of looking at all the food and bad days, so I delete and "this time it will be different.....".

I'm really tired of "tomorrow is a new day" "next month will be binge free." "going to be a binge free year (new years)." "it's march gotta get this in control before summer there is still time!" "****, it' summer and i'm still bloated and bingeing. Well If I start now maybe by new years I'll be in shape".

Done with all that. I need binger friends who understand and can offer actual advice.

Dennis4766

Two books that really shed light upon this for me were "Brain over Binge" by Kathryn Hansen and "Ditching Diets" by Gillian Riley.

For me, the binging began as a matter of survival from extremely restrictive eating and then became habitual / addictive. These two books have taught me that I need to recognize the "Binge-Beast's" voice & urging, and to use my "higher brain" aka "Prefrontal cortex" to weaken the "Binge-Beast", leaving its urgings unfulfilled and unsatisfied.

I would strongly recommend reading these 2 books.

Fat2_Fit

I've read brain over binge. I guess I need to read it again. That's how it started for me as well, my diet wasn't super restrictive but I was exercising a LOT! Doesn't help that I purge and I know that.

Thank you for your reply, I'll check out that other book.

beccabmoran

I could have written this! I feel exactly the same way, which is why I joined this group. I am SO TIRED of saying, "This time it's going to be different!" I am committed to being binge free for the rest of the year (my last binge was on Wednesday; I was too ashamed to log it). I'm writing those words down here to remind myself and hold myself accountable.

I am here for you and I will help in any way that I can! This is a beast of a journey, trust me; we all need friends and help.

JenBrown0210

I feel like you took the words out of my mouth. I feel the same way. I also "start over" quite often, little good it does me. I do not even feel like myself when I binge. It is such a weird experience. I will do great for a few weeks and then binge non stop for weeks at a time.

sumjoy

I had been staying below daily calories for a week, then added walking every day the next week. Tuesdays are my weigh-in day at TOPS and I was doing great with an early morning weight check showing a two pound loss. Then I ate or drank something in the morning that caused me to swell up 4 pounds. I knew I had to weigh in at TOPS and I started taking allergy pills to stop whatever it was and managed to get down to the previous weeks official weight. I was so disappointed that I ate an entire 14" pizza that night. Late night is normally when I do my binging. It's as if I can't watch TV without putting something in my mouth.

This time on the yo-yo I'm trying to retrain my mind to think like "Skinny Girl" and know that its okay to not clean my plate, and that "tasting" food instead of eating it all is usually all I need.

floralfriday

Today I binged despite having been so determined that September was going to be a new start for me. I don't know what triggers a binge, but I know that while having one, I feel out of control. The feeling after the binge is terrible, a mixture of anger and disgust at myself, and just feeling completely low. It's almost like I'm on self destruct at this point, thinking that things can't get much worse and 'well today is ruined now so I may as well continue eating' even though I'm so full already and don't actually want anything else.

Then somehow I muster up some positivity and look to tomorrow when I WILL stick to my diary plan and reiterating that today was definitely my LAST binge. Until the next time, of course. And then repeat the whole thing.

I'm not restricting calories or anything so it's not that. I've checked a book called Mindful Eating out of the library, think I really need to give that another try.

Knowing that you're not alone and that other people are having the same experiences definitely helps. As does talking about it. My boyfriend is really supportive but I don't think he can really understand or quite get his head around it and I can't really expect him to.

crepes_

Take a look at the Me vs The Binge challenge for September. It really helps with motivation because you always want to make sure your number is higher than the binge. And honestly, it helps put things into perspective. I often think that I binge every single day, when I'm at my worst. Those numbers tell me that my perception is a little off, and I can rejoice in the fact that I at least have some days when things work out in my favor.

There's nothing worth doing that isn't going to be hard at least once. And most of us are on our millionth try as far as we're concerned. But honestly, as frustrating as that can be, it's at least good to know that you're not alone in it. It's hard and it sometimes seems impossible, but it's certainly something we can overcome. It won't be easy, of course, and yes we may continue to fail for a while until we finally figure it out, but the end game is the reason we're doing this. So that we can have a normal relationship with food and really appreciate ourselves.

Just keep at it. If you slip up, keep your chin up and carry on, because being down on yourself never solves anything. Try adding a bunch of a us, because the newsfeed updates help keep you in the loop with how everyone's doing, and everyone loves to be cheered on when they do an awesome job!

http://www.amazon.com/The-Food-Feelings-Workbook-Emotional/dp/0936077204 -- And because Dennis mentioned a couple of books, I think this one is important as well. It provides reading but coaches you through exercises meant to get to the bottom of why you binge the way you do and help you embrace the emotions that you have rather than suppressing them with food. It's a fresh approach and honestly quite empowering.

floralfriday

Thanks for your post, crepes. I had a look at the Me vs the Binge thread yesterday but couldn't bring myself to have to post Me 0 Binge 1!

I'm feeling more positive today. I did start looking round for something else to eat after my (already adequate) lunch but had a cup of tea instead and now the urge has passed and that's a hurdle jumped.

I will add you if that's ok, and anyone else feel free to add me. Shared experiences, encouragement and support are definitely a huge help. Will also look up that book, thank you.

crepes_

Don't feel ashamed to admit that The Binge got a point yesterday! We're all in the same struggle. Today is your opportunity to get a tie going and then the next day, you can surpass that number. It's one day at a time, and this just helps keep the perspective.

I'm glad that you got a cup of tea instead! That's great. Coping skills are useful. I like to do distraction with either a game or an activity that takes brain power. I also do a lot of self-nurture, as I found that while I was binging, everything else I did was anhedonic because I felt that I didn't deserve positivity. So now, when I want to binge, I instead pamper myself like crazy. Manicures, pedicures, new hair styles, make up, long bubble baths, relaxing days laying in the park while reading a good book, etc. There are so many things that make you feel amazing, so it doesn't just have to be about food.

I think you should just bite the bullet and add a bunch of people who are active, or just look through my friends list and see any names that match up with the people here. Everyone is incredibly nice and supportive, and while they may not see your post for friend requests, they'll still have the opportunity to make a new buddy. It's so much easier to do this when you don't feel alone.

floralfriday

I've added a few people and now have a more active news feed which is nice and helps with the motivation!

Yeah distraction is definitely important. Saying to myself 'give it fifteen minutes and see if I still want something to eat', then going off and reading a book or something, finding I completely forget about the urge to binge. And you're definitely right that food isn't the bee all and end all, I know that but just forget it sometimes.

Today has been a good day and and I eagerly await being able to write Me 1 Binge 1 in the September thread