That one time when Sara came to visit.

SideSteel Posts: 11,068 Member
So let me first start off by saying that my wife has been incredibly patient and giving in that, for basically the entire time Sara was here, Jennifer allowed me to run around town with Sara, and Jennifer was the photographer and director in several of our photos.

So anyways, the first thing I noticed when she came down the escalator to meet me in baggage was that she's much younger looking in person. When we Skype, she usually has just rolled out of bed and sometimes she even looks like she just rolled across the pavement. But that's probably the internet connection adding a few wrinkles. In person she's very pretty and people stare at her without her knowing, as you will read later in this thread. LOL.

The other thing is that her thighs and her butt are like twice their normal size when you compare them in photos vs real life. I explained this to her. In fact, we used her as a human sundial in this photo:


You can see above that it's precisely booty-o-clock.

After she arrived, we went back to my place so she could drop off her bags and meet my wife. We brewed some coffee. She drank some coffee and we took a few pics.

Like this one:

You'll note that her bicep looks bigger than mine, but you'll also note that the sun was in my eyes, I wasn't feeling well, I wasn't really flexing, the coffee cup had my creatine in it and I forgot to drink it, and I had just done a bunch of cardio with that arm and it must have gone catabolic.

*Ahem* moving on --

Then we decided to eat, so I made some protein pancakes for Sara and my wife, Jennifer. I opted for peach pancakes with fresh peaches and vanilla trutein. They turned out great:


Then, it was off to the gym for some fun.

We met my cousin Kate (CallMeBacon) at the gym. I don't quite recall what we did as far as a workout that night, but I know I squatted and benched, and Sara deadlifted.

And at one point, with 275lbs on the bar, deadlifting opposite the squat rack (rack behind her). She somehow managed to deadlift to full lockout, followed by falling over backwards while never letting go of the barbell. The end result was her landing on her butt, the barbell going straight downwards with a very, very loud crash, followed by a long silence (EVERYONE looked) followed by what I can only describe as a high pitched CACKLE (Sara laughing hysterically).

We pretty much left shortly after that. LOL.

Oh, and this is what it's like to spot her on the bench, in case you're wondering:


So then we went back to my house. We brewed some coffee. Sara drank some coffee and we took a few pics.


You'll notice that she's laughing at my bicep, but let me remind you that I wasn't really flexing that hard, I was sorta tired, I must have only gotten .92g/lb lbm protein that day instead of 1g/lb, and the camera didn't add 10lbs to my bicep like it does for everyone else because I'm different.

She also brought gifts because she's generous and thoughtful. You'll see some of them throughout this post but the one that made me LOL was a onesie for my 2 month old daughter that reads "I'd flex but I like this onesie". Seriously LMAO.

She also packed a variety of English candy (and some stuff from Trader Joe's) which explains why her travel bag was heavy as fook. This picture isn't accurate as we ate some of it on night 1 and the pic wasn't taken until the next afternoon, but here is a good portion of it:


Now most of that stuff is really tasty but at one point she came at me with this beef jerky looking thing and she was looking at me with shifty and guilty eyes and a big smirk. She took a really tiny nibble of it as though it wasn't really tasty and said "You need to try this". So I was immediately skeptical. I thought it was kangaroo meat or horse nuts or something like that, forgetting that she was a vegetarian. Turns out (yeah I manned up and I tried that *kitten*) it was vegetarian soy fake-o meat-jerky. BBQ flavor. It was sort of know I can't even put words together in a manner that describes it but point being I took a few bites of it, then I made fun of her later.

The next day was great. We woke up, she brewed some coffee and we drank some coffee and we went to the gym. We mostly worked on squats and bench. Sara matched a paused PR at 155lbs if I recall correctly, then we went back to my place and I had several calls with my online clients, and Sara got a chance to sit in on the calls and learn about how awesome my services are. More realistically she got a chance to correct all the bad information I gave out when I left the room. But kidding aside she sat in on the calls and got a chance to meet my peeps.

Oh I should add -- before we went to the gym Sara says "Ok let me go change my shirt". So she goes downstairs into her guest room and shuts the door.

About 15 minutes goes by and no Sara. So I turn to my wife and I'm like "How #$%@ing long does it take someone to change a shirt?"

SO I go downstairs and knock on her door.

Me: "How long does it take you to change a shirt?"
Her: "I think I've got an issue"
Me: "What's up?"
Her: "Well either the security guard stole my underwear or I forgot to pack it"
Me: (laughing hysterically) "Which one of those two scenarios is more likely?!"

So I made fun of her for basically the rest of the week. 30,000 calories of English Candy, 14 pairs of yoga pants, no underwear.


I get a text from my wife that afternoon that said "On my way home, very hungry" which is her way of saying "you need to cook for me". Long story short, I had no time due to my client meetings so what do I end up with? A double cheeseburger from Culver's, with everything on it. Got Sara a salad which she *****ed about several times throughout the trip.

After my client calls, we went to a local pizza place that does a wonderful thin crust pizza. Sara got some hippie vegetarian garbage and I got pepperoni. I ordered a 16" and destroyed it.


We went back home. We brewed some coffee. Sara drank some coffee and we took a few pics. Like this one, where I'm clearly trying to shove my chest out and suck in my gut to fill out the shirt.

We ate some of the candy Sara brought. We also ate ice cream and I don't even recall what we had at night. But, I recall rambling off my food for the day and Sara logged it, I clocked in around 4800 calories or so.

We woke up the next morning and we brewed some coffee. We drank some coffee, brought my son to school and then we went to the YMCA. I trained a few clients while Sara basically mucked around with various lifts. She squatted and benched while I stuck people on bosu balls in the smith machine so that I could make sure they could train in an unstable environment yet somehow benefit from also using the added stability of the smith machine. I'm entirely kidding of course.

We went back home and brewed some coffee. Sara drank some coffee and we met with some of my online clients. Then we went to pick up my son from school. Two more afternoon clients online and then I had to get ready for work.

I am a close-up magician and I perform for corporate events as well as a few venues at the Mall of America. So we went to the mall and it's at this point that I should mention that I forgot to trim my eyebrows. This will become relevant later, but let it be known that I was frustrated with my eyebrows and I made mention of this.

While I did my gig, Sara met my cousin (CallMeBacon) to do some shopping. For underwear, of course. The gig went well and we drove back home that evening. When we got home, we brewed some coffee, Sara drank some coffee and we called it a night.

The next morning we woke up and brewed some coffee. We drank some coffee and brought my son to school and then went straight to the gym. It was a fun session with lots of deadlifting. My deads have been going really, really poorly as of the past year, partially due to technique and partially due to a few back injuries. My 1RM conventional was 415 set in November of last year, in which I tweaked my back slightly. My 1rm sumo (I've dabbled in sumo but not trained it) was 365 last year at some point. I made some changes the previous month to my methods and managed to pull 405 sumo during our session so I was pretty happy. It also went up with decent speed and there were some technical improvements still to be made (knees not staying out far enough, knocking the bar forward before the pull). So I was pretty pleased with this.

Sara pulled 275 for multiple singles.

We went from there to pick up my son from school. We stopped at Dairy Queen and got some blizzards. Then we went back to my place and we brewed some coffee. Sara drank some coffee and we worked on some threads in the ETP group. I think we got like 4 of them done which is probably a record as of late (sorry!).

Then I tried to take a nap but as I was laying on my couch I noticed a wasp hive in the tree right next to the house. With wasps all over it. I got stung last year, my son got stung about 4 weeks ago, so basically I'm a bish when it comes to stinging insects. So instead of napping I sat there crapping myself. Actually I called a pest control place to schedule them to come out and take care of it, which they did.

Then we went to Chipotle. Sara had a big 'ol cheese quesadilla and chips dipped in sour cream. I had a massive burrito.

We went straight to Noodles and Company so I could pick up food for my wife, and so I could further sabotage Sara by Mac N Cheese. Although she didn't finish it all.

Then we drove to the Mall of America. On the way there, I pointed out to Sara that I had neatly trimmed my eyebrows and that they were no longer bothering me. The conversation went something like this:

Me: "So did you notice my neatly trimmed eyebrows?"
Her: "Nice. You missed one"
Me: "Did I?"
Her: "Yeah, there's one huge one sticking out. Here"

Now let me pause and add that when you're going to pluck an eyebrow or another rogue hair, the general strategy is to try to get a firm grip on it and then pull FAST to minimize the pain.

Perhaps when you have abnormal grip strength this isn't the strategy, because Sara basically (with little warning) gripped my eyebrow and proceeded to do a slow-motion (sort of like the Matrix when they dodge bullets and stuff) wrenching of my eyebrow and the flesh it attaches to. I actually heard a noise echo in my head when the eyebrow (and root, and some skin) removed from my head. It hurt.

We lol'd. Well, I lol'd once the tears stopped.

After my gig we all met up for dinner (Kate, Sara, Kate's husband CJ). Holy crap does this get good.

So remember what Sara had so far today? A big cheese quesadilla, mac and cheese (and a quest bar)... Well our food arrives and I have a lovely plate of salmon with vegetables, Kate had some pasta and CJ got a salad with steak on it (dude has dropped like 30-40lbs and is really doing great, random comment), and then two appetizers arrive. Cheese fries and Cheese curds. That was Sara's dinner. LMFAO.

5y9pwl.jpg Also random face pic: 33yt2zc.jpg

We had tons of LOL's during dinner, just chatting about random stuff. About 30-40 minutes into it, I notice all the plates are cleared (we were done and server took the plates) except for Sara. Her plates were half full and she was still eating.

But here's why:

She takes her knife and fork, and she forks 1 to 2 french fries (no more) and then she cuts them into roughly 1.5" bites. Then, she takes her knife, dips it into whatever sauce is there, and then spreads the sauce onto the 1.5" fry-bite, then eats it. Rinse, repeat. So it took about 90 minutes for her to eat the fries, with me making fun of her eating method for the latter half of it.

Also what did Sara order for a beverage with dinner? Coffee.

Then we had dessert. They make these fresh brownies with ice cream on top, and they're fantastic.


So after a fun filled night, and tons of LOL's on the way home, we called it a night. We got home and brewed some coffee. Sara drank some coffee and I went to bed.

The next morning we got up to go to the PL meet. While I never announced this on my wall, I registered to compete in my first PL meet (this was why Sara was originally coming to visit) at the TC open. This was also my birthday. But unfortunately I tweaked my back (AGAIN) about 3 weeks prior and this basically knocked my lifts down and took me out of it. So I withdrew about a week prior to the event date. I was really disappointed at the time.

Watching the meet was fun but also a bit challenging because I really wanted to get on the platform. But I had a great time, and when I originally registered I told two of my lifting buddies who then also registered, so I got to watch them compete. Ron Pettersen had an amazing meet, getting 8/9 legit lifts and setting PR's in all 3 lifts -- Deadlifts he PR'd back to back (attempt 2 and 3) and the 3rd one FLEW off the floor. Sara was also able to explain some things to me during the meet.

Oh, and after Ron mopped up in the deadlifts, we decided to head back to the warmup area so he could add another 20lbs and PR again, based on how fast his final attempt went. He missed the lift (he actually bailed early -- it was 455 and it too flew off the floor but once he cleared the knees he went straight down with it, not wanting to take the chance on hurting himself).....

So before he attempted this Sara was helping him load the plates. She was wearing very tight yoga pants and a black T-shirt -- on the back of the shirt it had a logo of a person squatting with a barbell on their back, and the text of the shirt said "My *kitten* Makes My *kitten* Look Big".

And while she was loading the plates (adding a 4th plate to 315) she was struggling to get the bar off the floor. So she was trying to wiggle the plate on and while doing so, she was sort of twerking a bit. Behind her was this 300lb dude and he was just STARING at her *kitten* like he had been hypnotized. And she was down there bouncing that thang for about 30 seconds, and this dude was open-mouthed and bug eyed just slobbering over it. I was LOLing really hard, then I see his lips move as he's reading her shirt (after the staring). Then he looks up and me and I'm just cracking up. And he was like 5 feet from her too, so it's not like he was across the room. He was just head down, right ON HER *kitten*, mouth open, bug eyes, drool.

Also I'll add that my lower back was stiff as hell during the meet, but it was just DOMS from the DL session the day before. It was really bad though, and I was complaining about it to Sara most of the meet. So of course the logical thing to do after the meet was to go deadlift again, so we did.

Sara once again pulled 275 a few times, and her and I were both working on a similar set-up, more of a grab-and-go method that also incorporates a stretch reflex. I started out slow and clunky and sore, but I ended up working up to a 345lb single which went up fast, and considering I just PR'd the day before I was really happy with it.

We went home and got cleaned up to go out for my B-Day dinner at an all you can eat Sushi place. My wife, our daughter, and Sara and I. Jennifer and I ate all kinds of various sushi, and Sara got a few hippie vegetarian items. Mostly tempura.

I casually mentioned to Sara that my PR on ice cream at this particular place was 9 scoops. They have 3 different flavors (green tea, red bean, and vanilla) and consequently since it's all you can eat, I always order a bowl with 3 scoops (one of each).

So Sara was like "Challenge Accepted" and when the bill arrived (again, this is all you can eat) she was still like "Can I get another bowl of ice cream?" and the server actually got a pissed off look on her face. So when she walked away Sara got all fiesty about it.

Sara muttering: "...bitch I don't care if you're upset bitch give me my ice cream....b[url]itch"

So she finally stopped at 11 scoops. Yes, 11 scoops of ice cream.


After Sushi we went home and Sara brewed some coffee. Sara drank some coffee and I went to bed.

I don't recall many details about Sunday in the AM, but I think we made pancakes and eggs for breakfast before our long gym session. We knew this would be our last lifting session together for a while so we planned on it being a lengthy one. The eggs and pancakes were a success as you can see here:


Then we went to the gym for a long session. Some fun stuff happened today.

For example there's a pair of brothers who lift occasionally at my gym and they're very big and very strong. In the neighborhood of 6'5 240-280, with squats and deads in the 500 range.

So one of the two brothers was in the gym ripping 385 off the floor for several reps without any effort. We chatted with him for a bit and at one point Sara says this to him, while swiveling her hips and twirling her hair:

"Wow, they sure grow them big here in Minnesota"

then she looks right at me and says

"What happened to YOU?"

So after picking my crushed spirit up off the floor, I did LOL =)

Then I made this. You're welcome: jk839l.gif

On the way home from the gym we had to decide what to get to eat. I was thinking about vegetarian options and coming up blank, and my wife was also texting me asking about food.

Now for the record my wife is very indecisive. When she was texting me and I was busy thinking about things, I had this lovely conversation with Sara:

"Man my wife really is indecisive about restaurants. It's frustrating".

Sara: "YOU'RE BEING JUST AS INDECISIVE. HAVE YOU MADE A DAMN DECISION YET?!" my head I was like "damn, bish must be hungry"

So we decided on Solo's pizza. I got 1 for my wife, Sara bought 1, and I bought two. Mine werepepperoni and sausage and spinach, and Sara got some hippie-*kitten* veggie thing.

We went for a long walk afterwards, mostly talking about how hilarious the visit was, and of course nerding out about stuff that we typically nerd out about.

When we got home, we brewed some coffee. Sara drank some coffee. And then we did some photos and hung out in the living room. Mostly the avi that you currently see here (if we've changed avis it's the one where we are picking each other off the ground).

Hilariously you'll note that Sara looks like she isn't breaking a sweat and I look like I'm trying not to crap my pants. At one point while my wife was taking the photographs she took a big step to the right. She told us afterwards it's because Sara's *kitten* looked gigantic and she thought it was just the angle of the photo and not the fact that her *kitten* IS gigantic. LMAO

That night we went out on to the front deck and watched some of the videos we took. There's some stuff that had us in tears laughing, like the dude who grunts really loud with 155 on the bench press. You might get a chance to see some of the clips if we decide to upload them, but suffice it to say that we were both doubled over laughing at the antics.

The next morning we got up and we brewed some coffee. We drank coffee and took my son to school.

It's at this point that I should mention that Sara is not a "kid person". What I mean by that is that she's not terribly used to small children or necessarily comfortable around them. So I don't mean "she hates kids", she's just not a kid person. I was exactly the same way before I had children and right up until I had children.

So it was very enjoyable to me to see that she appeared to warm up to my children (Isaiah especially). I took a few pics that she hasn't seen yet, and these are my favorites:


We went from my son's school straight to the airport, stopping at a gas station so Sara could get some coffee. LOL.

At the airport we made a few videos that we may eventually post if we ever get around to it. We hung out for our last hour together spending most of that time sitting in chairs in baggage claim and joking about the weekend.

The original intent for this meet-up was to have Sara assist (handle) me at my first powerlifting meet. I was so discouraged when I tweaked my back and realized that I wouldn't be competing, and I'm still eager to get on the platform to experience PL competition. But having said that, when I look back on this week and all the fun we had, I don't have any regrets. As much as I am eager to compete, I can't imagine having more fun than I did this week, just going to the gym every day (we lifted 6 days in a row) and goofing off. Sara is a complete goofball and without getting to know her you would never know it.

Fortunately, she's coming back, and I can't wait![/url]


  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
    This is over the charts awesome!
    Looks like you guys had a great time.

    Is she single?? lol
  • pepperpat64
    pepperpat64 Posts: 423 Member
    I'd hate to see your coffee bill for this visit. :drinker: :noway:
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    This is just beyond awesome! :)
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,220 Member
    Glad I got to chat with you both during the visit! Sounds like a blast!
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
  • TriLifter
    TriLifter Posts: 1,283 Member
    This was great, thank you!
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
    So full of win!
  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
    I had just done a bunch of cardio with that arm
    Oh rly?? Tell us more!
  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
    She also packed a variety of English candy (and some stuff from Trader Joe's) which explains why her travel bag was heavy as fook

    How would you put the little bag in the trunk of your car and left me with the big one!!
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    She also packed a variety of English candy (and some stuff from Trader Joe's) which explains why her travel bag was heavy as fook

    How would you put the little bag in the trunk of your car and left me with the big one!!

    I am surprised he can only fit the little bag in his trunk. I have heard rumors.
  • SideSteel
    SideSteel Posts: 11,068 Member
    She also packed a variety of English candy (and some stuff from Trader Joe's) which explains why her travel bag was heavy as fook

    How would you put the little bag in the trunk of your car and left me with the big one!!

  • in4nomz
    in4nomz Posts: 230
    So much coffee and so much cheese. I approve. :drinker:
  • redheaddee
    redheaddee Posts: 2,005 Member
    LOVE this. Love the fact that you underlined every time Sara drank the coffee. Love the Blues Clues bed stuffs. Sounds like you guys had a great time! :flowerforyou:
  • kguerriere
    kguerriere Posts: 34 Member
    Awesome! Sounds like tons of fun!
  • BarbellApprentice
    BarbellApprentice Posts: 486 Member
    Absolute greatness. Laughed throughout that read.
  • spade117
    spade117 Posts: 2,466 Member

    After she arrived, we went back to my place so she could drop off her bags and meet my wife. We brewed some coffee. She drank some coffee and we took a few pics.

    Like this one:

    Awesome report.

    That coffee cup looks huge!
  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member

    After she arrived, we went back to my place so she could drop off her bags and meet my wife. We brewed some coffee. She drank some coffee and we took a few pics.

    Like this one:

    Awesome report.

    That coffee cup looks huge!

    It only looks big because it is next to SideSteel's bicep! Optical illusion!
  • Cryptonomnomicon
    Cryptonomnomicon Posts: 848 Member

    Seriously jealous!
  • adjoa84
    adjoa84 Posts: 261 Member
    Such an awesome post! So glad to have talked with you briefly Sara, really great advice!