Please someone Help me I don't know what to do..

LoveHealth7

Hi.

I have binge eating disorder, and although I like to think I developed it a few years ago after I tried a new medication that made me really hungry ALL the time, I remember as a child sneaking a handful of sweets every now and again, and gloriously devouring them, while hiding.

it didn't really matter as I stayed mostly in shape. I ate what I wanted. Then, in my teen years I started being mindful of fattening foods, and ate less of them to stay in shape. But a few years ago I lost all control and just ballooned.

I have had it "seriously" for around 5 years, although recently could admit it with no shame (..well, less shame) and it is so difficult as I am trying to lose weight and the thoughts are so powerful, overpowering I end up just saying f it I'm eating it all!

I figured out earlier today that bingeing DOES NOT make me happy. Staying fat does not make me happy. I am MISERABLE when I binge, The big reason why I binge I think is because I am not happy with my life situations currently, going through a crappy phase, I have been trying to lose weight, instead I keep getting bigger, my work situation is non existant and although I am grateful for everything I have I am not happy. There. I said it. I am not happy so I use food as an escape, as a release, as an outlet, to escape from reality. THAT is the big reason I binge.

It's kind of a catch 22 isn't it. I have horrid circumstances and I want them to change, and then I self sabotage! When I eat I can forget about my problems for a moment and imagine everything is ok. I have tried reaching out for help and nothing is available until JANUARY!!! I keep thinking I can do this on my own, and keep failing so I thought I'd reach out on here and find some support?

If anyone knows what I should do. I want to forget about this disorder and just live. Live simpler. When I remember that bingeing makes me miserable, I avoid it so I think I should print off a pic of that and tape it somewhere. Idk.

Please add me, as well , if you like.

I am so sad and mad at myself and life circumstances

God bless you all!

sunseeker100

first of all I know how you feel! you're not alone and it's a hard hard struggle. I don't have any magic words, if I did I wouldn't be still trying to get to my goal weight 4 years after first starting this, but I have tried to change my mind set recently and this might help you.

I have been waiting to get back 'in the zone' or 'get my mojo back' or 'get my head in the right place' to diet/exercise/stop bingeing etc but it hasn't come and I've just got bigger and bigger...but...yesterday I made myself go out and do week 1 run 1 of the c25k (I keep trying and giving up) and I kept to my calories for the full day! it's only one day but it's one day on the road to many days staying on track with a better mindset. I've decided that I keep waiting for magic moment when I know I feel 'in the zone' but it's not coming so maybe I need to put myself in the zone instead of waiting for it? revelation time!!

In the past I have been able to be really strict with myself and have been sucessful at weight loss (but I've put it all back on and more) so I thought that I'd just wait for the feeling to come back...but maybe it won't come back on it's own so it's up to me to go and get that feeling back.

I didn't like my run much, I was hot and red and sweaty, I was going slower than someone with a zimmerframe would go...but I did it and I'm going to go again tomorrow and keep trying until I get to my goal weight. It might take a long time, it will be hard, I will eat chocolate and it will be within my calorie allowance...but I'm determined to get there because as much as I love a good binge I do love clothes and my slimmer body better and like you, I really don't like how I feel after the binge.

I've sent you a friend request, but just want you to know that there are others out there battling every day, so I'm with you :flowerforyou:

Aswennu

Wow.
Your story really hit home for me. I'm also a binge eater and I've found that I will stuff myself without even really wanting what I'm eating. It's a habit and I do it because I'm stressed or really unhappy with myself- which used to be pretty much all the time, I'm trying to work on how I see myself... It may sound stupid, but I would suggest to starting a regular exercise routine or upping one you already have and to make sure you track all of your food, especially the binges.

Exercise creates endorphins- they'll make you happy and help you feel less depressed. It'll be really hard at first, but if you stick with it, you'll begin to notice a general change in mood/thinking in about two weeks. I am fat and lazy and exercising was really really hard for me, but it's really helped me feel better-happier, stronger, less stressed out, clearer thinking, etc. If you stick with it and get past the hurt, I promise you it will help. I really enjoy walking/using the elliptical because it also gives me a chance to clear my head. Remember to take baby steps and do what you can, anything is better than nothing and everyone starts somewhere.

Tracking the binges is important because it'll help you see patterns in your behavior. Make notes on what you eat everyday and what is on your mind/going on in your life. Everyone has bad days, so try not to hung up on them when they happen. Just try and take it slow, be accountable to yourself, and look at this as trying not only to control your eating, but trying to understand yourself better and get healthier -mentally and physically.
Something I've found that helps me is if I make a conscious effort to stop myself and ask, "why am I doing this? Am I hungry? -No? Ok, but I feel I NEED this food-why?". Then I usually end up crying and talking to myself for an hour, but I stop the binge and actually feel better about exploring myself afterwards.

My last suggestion would be to talk about stuff! Seriously, it helps! If you find you need a friend or someone to vent to, feel free to message me. Sometimes we all just need someone to be there for us. You're not alone.

shia23

Wow, this is exactly how I feel like word for word. I just put up my first post yesterday about my binge eating because i have gotten to a point where I just don't knownwhat to do!