Things you shouldnt hear at the OBGYN
wheird
Posts: 7,963 Member
Better get the Mag Lite.
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Replies
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Well, how about that.0
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Sorry, thought this was a prostate exam.0
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Can I get the extra large speculum?0
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Hello! (hello...hello...)0
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That's a nice shade of green.0
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Can you hold this back for me?0
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Can you hold this back for me?
No lie, we heard this ALL THE TIME0 -
Can you hold this back for me?
No lie, we heard this ALL THE TIME
No!!0 -
Can you hold this back for me?
No lie, we heard this ALL THE TIME
No!!
On obese patients? Absolutely.0 -
Can you hold this back for me?
No lie, we heard this ALL THE TIME
No!!
On obese patients? Absolutely.
Omg *cringe*0 -
Are you sure you have never had kids?0
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*kitten* noises0
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*kitten* noises
Winner!0 -
Can you hold this back for me?
No lie, we heard this ALL THE TIME
Yep!0 -
No never mind the magnifier … get me my harness, some rope and a light.. I’m going in.0
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I should get a toothbrush.0
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Mam.....just how people have you ****ed today?0
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OK, Mom, get in the stirrups.0
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Well, I haven't seen that before.0
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Well, this doesn't taste right...
bahahahahahaha0 -
Well, I see besides the 4 condoms I've already pulled out, a watch, ball-gag and....
Oh, wait, is that a tootsie roll?0 -
Hello! Hello hello hello hello (hello....)0
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I found this story on the internet, enjoyI went to see dear ol' Dad earlier today, and somehow our conversation ended up drifting to obese individuals. He told me that he remembered once when my mother came home from work at a clinic with a harrowing tale of a whale in need.
She waddled into the office, complaining of pain and discomfort in her nether-regions. So they rolled her on into a room to get her vitals taken while my mother prepared to examine her. My mom walks in and asks what seems to be the problem. The woman explains that she has been experiencing pain in her vagina. So of course my mom gets the gloves, puts a mouth mask thing on, and heaves her legs up into stirrups and moves the folds around to find her vagina.
My dad got gravely serious at this point, telling me "camel, your mother told me she knew that this woman hadn't cleaned herself in years. The stench was unbelievable, and there was a dark, thick, forest in between her legs." At this point my mouth is hanging open in disgust, but he continues on.
"Your mom told me she was literally mouthing "what the ****, what the ****" behind her mask as she continued to search through the forest. Finally, she told the patient that she would be right back, and she went to find the doctor. She told him You have got to see this. I'm not going back in there alone."
This woman had ticks in her vagina. Her vagina. They were swollen the size of a nickel. He said my mom lost count at 7, and that's when she got the doctor. You know what the doctor said? "Ma'am, you need to clean yourself and lose some weight. That is your problem. Otherwise you wouldn't have ticks in your vagina. Go home and clean yourself."
Apparently my mom said the woman got pretty upset and cried, and I'm not sure what happened after that.. but damn. The dude ain't wrong. ****in' ticks? I never thought I'd get to hear a story like this from the family.0 -
Oh *kitten*, I lost my watch.0
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Nurse, strap a board to my *kitten*. I'm going in!0
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Did you know you're pregnant?0
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Can you hold this back for me?
No lie, we heard this ALL THE TIME
No!!
On obese patients? Absolutely.
Omg *cringe*
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