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_SusieQ_
_SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
edited October 12 in Social Groups
Have you been involved in any kind of search, be it for a birth parent, or child you gave up for adoption? What was the outcome?

Replies

  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
    My adoption was very much a closed adoption. That is how they did things in the 70s, lock it up and throw away the key. No info, medical or otherwise. The only info I had up until a few years ago was tidbits handed to me by my aparents that they had heard during the adoption process.

    I can honestly say I never really cared much about finding my birth parents. I was quite blessed to have had the most amazing people raise me, and I never felt lacking or wanting in that area. But at some point human curiosity gets the best of all of us so in my 20s I did a half hearted search. I signed up on adoption reunion sites, I dug through Mom's old paperwork and found my bmom's last name. Contacted the hospital where I was born and someone screwed up and sent me confidential papers. All it really gave me was her full name, but that was more than I did have previously.

    The extend of my searching then and now is to occasionally google her name. i have looked on FB and other social networking sites, but that's about it. I guess I just don't feel a huge need to know that much, though medical information would be nice.

    and just once in a while I do wish there was someone that I could say looked like me, or I looked like them.
  • Crystal817
    Crystal817 Posts: 2,021 Member
    I started seriously thinking about searching for my birth mother this summer. So far I have contacted Holt in Korea, asking if there is any info about my mother in my file. I am in the process of requesting a copy of my file. From there, I'm going to contact a couple different Korean organizations to help look things over and see where I can go from there.
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
    I cannot imagine.

    Adoption records are sealed by law in the state my brother was adopted from. The only hope of finding him would have been an expensive private detective.

    But my brother knew what she had named him, what her name was, her major in college, and where she lived at the time...he was able to send a message through the church he was placed for adoption through. They sent her a message. Of course, she knew exactly who was trying to contact her, when he knew the name she had given him. She contacted him right away.

    My father? (At this point, they were divorced) Asked why she even bothered. Yea, he's that great. I need a dysfunctional families group...
  • velarneyraptor
    velarneyraptor Posts: 94 Member
    I started searching at the beginning of the year through a government-run adoption support group here in South Australia... but because I was adopted in another state there have been some setbacks and I probably won't pursue it again until the new year.

    I was lucky enough to have the file my parents were given when I was adopted that has the information about my birth family, etc on it. But the lady at the adoption support group (who is really kind and supportive) said that often the records may have false information in order for the birth mother to protect her identity in the future if she knows she doesn't want to be found. That was a bit of a downer, but I am still trying to stay positive :)
  • mamapaints
    mamapaints Posts: 206 Member
    Those of you in the search, best wishes! There is a sweet lady in a bible study I am a part of who is trying to find the daughter she relinquished in Alabama back in the 70's I believe. She was sent to a maternity home for unwed mothers where all the girls were pressured to place their babies for adoption. :( this daughter is the only child she ever ended up having.
  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
    it's funny. I go months, even years without thinking about my birth parents. Then I will get involved or stumble across a group (like THIS one), and now I'm thinking, should I try again? I have potential access to information through my mother's cousin. He knew my birth family. He is now in his mid-70s so I suppose I need to make a decision soon if I'm going to ask him anything. Perhaps he doesn't even remember.

    I think I'm afraid of what I may find. I would like some information, medical, etc. But do I want a relationship? I'm not so sure I do, but it's hard to say without having any facts about her/them. I have a wonderful family, my parents have been married for 45 years and are amazing. Not sure I want to bring another faction into the mix at this point.

    I never had children of my own for various reasons, so the medical aspect is important, but not AS important as it could be had I chosen to have children.
  • k9hrd
    k9hrd Posts: 351 Member
    I have searched and located my mother and I have some good leads on my father. The reunion with my mother was amazing! I understand who I am so much more because of it. I am willing to assist others in their searches. If there is anyone from Michigan I could use some assistance.
  • Crystal817
    Crystal817 Posts: 2,021 Member
    I started searching at the beginning of the year through a government-run adoption support group here in South Australia... but because I was adopted in another state there have been some setbacks and I probably won't pursue it again until the new year.

    You were born in South Korea, right? What agency were you adopted through? There are a lot of great organizations in Korea helping adoptees with birth family searches! I would also contact your agency in Korea. Often there will be 2 agencies that handle international adoption. One in the birth country and one in the country where you were adopted in.
  • velarneyraptor
    velarneyraptor Posts: 94 Member
    I started searching at the beginning of the year through a government-run adoption support group here in South Australia... but because I was adopted in another state there have been some setbacks and I probably won't pursue it again until the new year.

    You were born in South Korea, right? What agency were you adopted through? There are a lot of great organizations in Korea helping adoptees with birth family searches! I would also contact your agency in Korea. Often there will be 2 agencies that handle international adoption. One in the birth country and one in the country where you were adopted in.

    I was adopted through ESWS (Eastern Social Welfare Society). I contacted G'OAL, and they told me that I needed to go through the state department in Australia that adopted me and put in a birth search request and then they could initiate it (or something). So I contacted the NSW DoCS and they told me they wouldn't be able to do anything until after I paid them $250 to request a form that I already had (record at ESWS) :/ Mine was "out of date" or some nonsense (I guess this just means the info contained on the form wasn't sitting in a computer database somewhere).
  • Crystal817
    Crystal817 Posts: 2,021 Member
    I was adopted through ESWS (Eastern Social Welfare Society). I contacted G'OAL, and they told me that I needed to go through the state department in Australia that adopted me and put in a birth search request and then they could initiate it (or something). So I contacted the NSW DoCS and they told me they wouldn't be able to do anything until after I paid them $250 to request a form that I already had (record at ESWS) :/ Mine was "out of date" or some nonsense (I guess this just means the info contained on the form wasn't sitting in a computer database somewhere).

    Have you tried KCare?

    http://www.kcare.or.kr/en/

    They may be abe to help!
  • Crystal817
    Crystal817 Posts: 2,021 Member
    Holt is sending me a copy of my Korean file. Not sure if it's going to help... but I gotta try. :/
  • Amazon_Who
    Amazon_Who Posts: 1,092 Member
    I am currently searching. More info here: https://www.facebook.com/BabyGirlStewart1960
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