Space for Rituals

Mindful_Trent

I wanted to post this topic to see if I could get any suggestions...

I currently live in a house with 4 other family members, none of whom share my spiritual path. They respect my beliefs, but I feel a bit uncomfortable doing rituals out in our backyard if anyone is home (it's rare for me to have the house to myself), and there's also the fact that due to placement of the homes around us, our backyard is not private - other neighbors can see into our backyard if they wanted to.

I'll be moving out early next year, if all goes as planned - but due to financial restrictions, I expect to be moving into an apartment, unless I find a rental house that's particularly cheap.

I always feel strange doing rituals inside (especially in a small, restricted place like my current bedroom, with almost no room to really move around) - the group I did most of my early learning & ritual work with was very big into doing rituals outside whenever possible, and it always feels more "right" to me when I'm outside. I have a harder time feeling connected with nature when I'm inside. I also find myself having trouble staying in the right ritual mindset/space when I'm worried about privacy concerns or when I'm working in a small restricted space and surrounded by my every-day things like my bed, computer, etc.

Is anyone else currently in this situation (or have been in the past)? If so, what have you done to make it work for you (if you have been able to make it work)? Does anyone have any suggestions on how to effectively conduct rituals even when space isn't ideal?

hm_day

I work a lot at home, but I am involved in a large group that always makes space or finds space to do rituals. However, at home, I don't even have a permanent altar. So I definitely do feel what you're going through.

mea9

Small, flat rock is a wonderful alter and can go where you need it to. You can shape a piece of slate which can be purchased from a flooring store, cleansed in whatever way has meaning for you. Better still if you can find one. I try not to think of nature as just the outside. If you are in a basement you can feel the roots of the trees and plants, the source of the well of life... If you are in a room upstairs you can easily experience and direct the energy of above... You have to adapt to the energy of the space I think is the key. It's not unlike a wonderful candle instead of a bonfire. The energy of the flame is the same.

JessiC1984

I live in my own house with my husband, and I used to maintain a permanent altar in our spare bedroom. A while ago one of my sisters spent two weeks with us and completely trashed my altar space. Everyone knows what it is and no one has ever touched anything on it or done anythig like this, she had cigarettes all over it, her perfume, garbage, food, it was a mess. Eveything about my altar felt dirty and wrong after that so I decided to disassemble it. I haven't found a place that feels right to arrange it in as of yet.
I don't do many magical workings, but there is a space down the road by the lake that I like to go and think, meditate, worship and listen to podcasts, lol. Just somewhere to go be out in nature and close to Divinity. I can't really practice anything in my yard, I'm surrounded by neighbors and they stare at me strangely already lol.
If you live near any woods, I'd suggest going for a walk with a bag of your tools and just find a place that feels right. It doesn't have to be the same place every time.

hm_day

I live in my own house with my husband, and I used to maintain a permanent altar in our spare bedroom. A while ago one of my sisters spent two weeks with us and completely trashed my altar space. Everyone knows what it is and no one has ever touched anything on it or done anythig like this, she had cigarettes all over it, her perfume, garbage, food, it was a mess. Eveything about my altar felt dirty and wrong after that so I decided to disassemble it. I haven't found a place that feels right to arrange it in as of yet.
I don't do many magical workings, but there is a space down the road by the lake that I like to go and think, meditate, worship and listen to podcasts, lol. Just somewhere to go be out in nature and close to Divinity. I can't really practice anything in my yard, I'm surrounded by neighbors and they stare at me strangely already lol.
If you live near any woods, I'd suggest going for a walk with a bag of your tools and just find a place that feels right. It doesn't have to be the same place every time.

Oh my, how disrespectful! I don't blame you for taking it down. Too much bad energy after that, and it's no longer YOUR space at that point. Ugh.

JessiC1984

Yeah, I was so upset I cried, lol, even my husband was furious, and he has nothing to do with our altar. It bothers me that I haven't reset my permanent altar, but no spot feels just right.

hm_day

Well of course he'd be furious. He at least knows that it's important to you.
I've never really had a permanent altar, just because I've never really had a permanent room to put it in and now I'm between homes (living temporarily at my dad's, no space at my boyfriend's). My altar is currently crammed onto the top of my dresser. It's not where I'd like it to be, but it's there, and that at least makes me feel better.

Mindful_Trent

JessiC1984 - can't believe someone would be that disrespectful toward your altar - so sorry to hear that!

Thanks for the recommendations everyone. I do have a small altar in my room right now, but it's never really felt "right" and I'm ashamed to say that it's starting to collect dust. My room is just too cramped with furniture/stuff, and it really is hard for me to concentrate and really put all my energy into spiritual work I do in my room. It will be much better when I get my own apartment - I may not be able to do rituals in a private backyard, but at least I will have more space, and will be able to have a dedicated altar space where it feels right in the apartment.

redfroggie

I agree with the suggestion JessiC made. When possible pack up your tools and take a hike into a wooded area or a small park maybe. It may not be practical all the time but would make that time all the more special. We moved last year and I only just recently found a spot for my altar, it makes me feel so much better knowing it's not all sitting in a box.

Mindful_Trent

I agree with the suggestion JessiC made. When possible pack up your tools and take a hike into a wooded area or a small park maybe. It may not be practical all the time but would make that time all the more special. We moved last year and I only just recently found a spot for my altar, it makes me feel so much better knowing it's not all sitting in a box.

Unfortunately there is no wooded area or non-cookie-cutter neighborhood style park within a reasonable distance for me to practice in. I live in a typical suburban neighborhood on the edge of the Colorado plains/grasslands (the state is only half mountains... lol). Next summer I'll have to make a better effort to go camping and have some quality time in the forests of the Rocky Mountains on weekends. There are a few reservoir parks near me, but they both tend to get a lot of visitors/foot & bike traffic (people like to run/bike/walk around the reservoirs), so I don't know that I'd be comfortable doing anything more than meditating there.

gettingstronger

I am in the same boat. I do some spells and rituals during the day when no one else is home, but I have never felt comfortable doing a full moon ritual or random spell when my hubby and kids are home. I use my kitchen table for an altar and disassemble everything and keep it in a special box when I am done.

gettingstronger

edit: repeat post

oops!

gettingstronger

I live in my own house with my husband, and I used to maintain a permanent altar in our spare bedroom. A while ago one of my sisters spent two weeks with us and completely trashed my altar space. Everyone knows what it is and no one has ever touched anything on it or done anythig like this, she had cigarettes all over it, her perfume, garbage, food, it was a mess. Eveything about my altar felt dirty and wrong after that so I decided to disassemble it. I haven't found a place that feels right to arrange it in as of yet.
I don't do many magical workings, but there is a space down the road by the lake that I like to go and think, meditate, worship and listen to podcasts, lol. Just somewhere to go be out in nature and close to Divinity. I can't really practice anything in my yard, I'm surrounded by neighbors and they stare at me strangely already lol.
If you live near any woods, I'd suggest going for a walk with a bag of your tools and just find a place that feels right. It doesn't have to be the same place every time.

That's just awful! Have you tried cleansing the room to make the energy more positive again?

MamaJasmine

I have a variety of places that I use. Most of my stuff is in my kitchen, I am Gardnerian and run a coven in my tradition but I also am a kitchen witch. I have stuff stashed all over the place, an athame here, a wand there. I do keep a permanent altar in the basement in a half finished room, but I rarely use it or anything on that altar. I also am a co-leader of a local pagan organization and our group has a permanent ritual circle area at a local camp ground that we use for all our events. The owners make sure no one walks in the area or disrespects it in anyway. They even marked out the cardinal points with huge rocks for us. I have a back yard but I also have no privacy there at all. We do add sacred things around the yard but it all blends in and we do not to rituals out there at all.

Before we had our house we had a small permanent altar in our living room but we also had a spot we went to in a local park that called to us. We never had anything permanent there but we would leave offerings of clay goddess statues or cakes and wine in rotten trees, stones and clean it up when ever we went there. We also did rituals there as best we could with out being interrupted. Have you thought about doing something like this?

Mindful_Trent

I have a variety of places that I use. Most of my stuff is in my kitchen, I am Gardnerian and run a coven in my tradition but I also am a kitchen witch. I have stuff stashed all over the place, an athame here, a wand there.

I will likely have stuff more spread out like this once I'm in my own place, but since I'm sharing a household with non-pagans and it's not *my* house, options are more limited. Right now, I basically have my bedroom and that's it.

Before we had our house we had a small permanent altar in our living room but we also had a spot we went to in a local park that called to us. We never had anything permanent there but we would leave offerings of clay goddess statues or cakes and wine in rotten trees, stones and clean it up when ever we went there. We also did rituals there as best we could with out being interrupted. Have you thought about doing something like this?

There isn't any place like this nearby that I've found where I'd feel comfortable working. Most of the parks nearby are typical neighborhood parks (big open grass field, swingset, jungle gym and a couple benches), which don't provide any privacy.

I'm planning on moving Feb/March next year closer to downtown, and will try to keep my eye out for parks where I might feel comfortable doing some work in that have bushes/trees that might allow me some quiet space. However, I'm a pretty strong introvert and wouldn't feel comfortable doing any kind of real energy raising (drumming/chanting/dancing/etc.) in an open public place. I'll probably have to save that type of ritual for doing in my apartment when I get my own place again.

Ooh - I just realized that unless something goes wrong between now and then, I'll have the house all to myself on Friday/Saturday/half of Sunday - will definitely have to take advantage of that and perform a ritual (there's a particular one that's a bit overdue, that I've been waiting for the right time to do). :drinker:

hm_day

I have a variety of places that I use. Most of my stuff is in my kitchen, I am Gardnerian and run a coven in my tradition but I also am a kitchen witch.

Gardnerian, huh? It's uncommon to see a lot of us around. I was taught Gardnerian and Cabot (if you're familiar with Laurie Cabot in Salem, MA). Maybe we can chat

MamaJasmine

I have a variety of places that I use. Most of my stuff is in my kitchen, I am Gardnerian and run a coven in my tradition but I also am a kitchen witch.

Gardnerian, huh? It's uncommon to see a lot of us around. I was taught Gardnerian and Cabot (if you're familiar with Laurie Cabot in Salem, MA). Maybe we can chat

Yes I am a lineaged Gardnerian initiate, and run a training coven in that tradition.

amandas1137

My space is restricted to my room if i do any level of elaborate ritual... and when I do this, I open my windows and burn natural incense. It's not the full effect, but to feel the air, and smell the earth and feel the peace is still a relief and a love. to make up for this, I take frequent walks rather than driving and just appreciate what's around me. I'm in the bible belt, with a bible thumping grandmother who under no circumstances should be upset, my two parents, my uncle, and my little brother (9)

I typically do any rituals at night after they've gone to bed. I'm a quiet person so my celebration and observance typically disturbs no one.. but the fear of privacy invasion puts a damper on completely letting go..

JessiC1984

I have cleansed the room, and we've actually moved the entire house around now, it's now our bedroom and it does feel more positive now, I juts need to find a good space to put it back up. Somewhere were the furkids won't lay around on it, lol.

Sera890

I was in the same situation for years! There was only one outdoor spot where I felt comfortable doing ritual and even then I had to wait for a time when no one else was there. I did most of mine indoors and I would either whisper or say the ritual in my head. The intent and feeling were more important than my surroundings or how loud I spoke.

Also, another poster mentioned using a large piece of slate and thats a wonderful idea. I currently have a large flat rock next to my back door that I use when I leave offerings. It's portable and no one questions a rock being outside.

Mindful_Trent

Just thought I'd post an update... All the right stars aligned and the universe put me in touch with my soon-to-be landlady (friend of a friend who I don't communicate with very often). Funny how things work out like that sometimes! As of next weekend I'll be living in a small one-bedroom home that shares a large, private lot (quite a bit of trees/greenery) with the landlady who lives in a larger home that's next to the one I'll be renting. The landlady is also pagan, so I'm very excited about having space to practice again. The house is a bit small, so I won't have a large altar/ritual area inside, but I'll be able to work outside when it's not risking frostbite to do so. :laugh: I'm responsible for my quarter of the property, so that leaves me plenty of space to work with. I didn't get a super good look at it all yet, as I viewed the property at night, but I'm very excited.

gettingstronger

Just thought I'd post an update... All the right stars aligned and the universe put me in touch with my soon-to-be landlady (friend of a friend who I don't communicate with very often). Funny how things work out like that sometimes! As of next weekend I'll be living in a small one-bedroom home that shares a large, private lot (quite a bit of trees/greenery) with the landlady who lives in a larger home that's next to the one I'll be renting. The landlady is also pagan, so I'm very excited about having space to practice again. The house is a bit small, so I won't have a large altar/ritual area inside, but I'll be able to work outside when it's not risking frostbite to do so. :laugh: I'm responsible for my quarter of the property, so that leaves me plenty of space to work with. I didn't get a super good look at it all yet, as I viewed the property at night, but I'm very excited.

That's Awesome! It's funny how these things work out, what the goddess will throw in your lap!

inkedartist

I moved into a three bedroom house, which is cheap to rent out here in the Az. Before that I was in a small apartment. I sat down at my alter and said "If there's a house around I can rent, affordable, and I can make the move, I'll dedicate a room to you guys." So I did. I work primarily indoors, but it's a permanent vortex/circle/gate. Even when I thought I could shift the house around and let someone move into the room, didn't happen. That space is dedicated my work space until I move out.

Before I would just take up a corner of my room, put up a couple standing screens around the alter space, and do rituals where I pretty much stood in place, with a large bookcase for all my statues, herbs, and tools. (the middle shelf was my working alter space)