biggest regret?
Replies
-
When I was younger I wasn't as tolerant and understanding as I am now. I was never a homophobe by any stretch of the imagination. I just was.. "typical" for a young man at the time. I'd use words that were hurtful without thinking about them. I hadn't been exposed to any openly gay people.
A theater education can sure open your eyes. It's why I support people coming out so much. Gay people being open about who they are allows others to come to a better understanding of them. Anyone who can meet a wonderful person like my hombro Mark and still hate gays.. well there's just something wrong with them in my eyes.0 -
Indeed that's my philosophy too.that how I look at things, everything happens for a reason.
Regrets, I have a few, but then again too few to mention.... as Mr Anka wrote for Mr Sinatra
...I wish I'd gone to live in Sweden for a while
...I wish I'd stayed in the Netherlands and not jumped ship for the first bloke who wooed me
...I wish I'd visited my parents more often when my mum was still alive
...I wish I'd met my husband sooner
...I wish I'd taken the time and effort to lose weight in my early 30s rather than wait till I was almost 50 to do something about it
:glasses: :ohwell: :flowerforyou:0 -
When I was younger I wasn't as tolerant and understanding as I am now. I was never a homophobe by any stretch of the imagination. I just was.. "typical" for a young man at the time. I'd use words that were hurtful without thinking about them. I hadn't been exposed to any openly gay people.
A theater education can sure open your eyes. It's why I support people coming out so much. Gay people being open about who they are allows others to come to a better understanding of them. Anyone who can meet a wonderful person like my hombro Mark and still hate gays.. well there's just something wrong with them in my eyes.
hombro! i love it! lol. I know what you mean, my best friend is my hombro too, and he is the most generous, sweet, big hearted person in the world. I'm glad you saw the light 0 -
Hmmm, this is hard to put into words.
I would never take back/regret meeting my husband but I do wish that it had happened later than it did. I was 18 when we met and we've been together ever since. I wish I had had the chance to explore a relationship with a woman.
I still think about it a lot and my husband is open to me having a female relationship, but I'm just not sure I could do it to him. He understands my feelings (poly wise) and knows I'm bi. And he's even told me that it wouldn't bother him, I just don't know that I could do it.
And hell, even if I could, I doubt I could ever find someone who would be open to a relationship with a married woman, let alone around here in the Midwest.0 -
Hmmm, this is hard to put into words.
I would never take back/regret meeting my husband but I do wish that it had happened later than it did. I was 18 when we met and we've been together ever since. I wish I had had the chance to explore a relationship with a woman.
I still think about it a lot and my husband is open to me having a female relationship, but I'm just not sure I could do it to him. He understands my feelings (poly wise) and knows I'm bi. And he's even told me that it wouldn't bother him, I just don't know that I could do it.
And hell, even if I could, I doubt I could ever find someone who would be open to a relationship with a married woman, let alone around here in the Midwest.
You never know!!!There are people out there who are open to awesome opprotunities like that. I know I would be! ;-) My first relationship with a woman happened when I was in a committed relationship with a man (he knew about it and said he was okay) and she was married with 2 kids (her hubby was fine with it too). ( I live in the Bible Belt- sooo.. Ya never know)0 -
I regret that I did not stay true to myself. I was in my early 20s when I attempted to come out to my mother. She was appalled, and I was yearning for her approval. I went back into the closet -- for about 15 years. It was not long after that that she was diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer (Type IV). After she was diagnosed and made it clear that she wanted to see all of her children married with children before she died, I complied and married, had children and tried to force myself to live this lie.
She fought the cancer for 5 years (but had been given 4 months to live). After she died, I continued to try to make the marriage work. It couldn't.
I regret that I had not come out and shown my mother who I truly am. I think there would have been much less pain had I been strong enough to be myself. (I do NOT regret having my children, btw).
EDIT to clarify: it was not long after I tried to come out that she was dx with cancer.0 -
Letting my peers around control my life and myself believeing them when I was a teen. Also I was a cutter I regret cutting myself back then because of the scars are still on my left arm I hide it and I tend to shy away when someone grabs me. But it is a good conversation starter when I drive people. I'm honest and I tell them the truth and I also tell them I dont think like that or do it anymore. Lol its strange how many people also went through that stage of life.0
-
I'm not sure if I have any "regrets," but I do wish I started my PhD right after I did my Masters rather than taking two years off. I could be half way through my PhD now.
0 -
Mine: not telling the first woman I fell in love with that I loved her. It still bothers me, to this day, that I had such a strong and real emotion that I never expressed.
Same we broke up a year ago, I never told her and I probably never will. I saw her the other day and she was fine, dating somebody new and carried on the conversation like we had never been more than friends. I gave the performance of life, but found myself 10min later locked in the bathroom in the studio crying. I guess you can hate, want and love somebody at the same time...0 -
Not recognizing my attraction to females sooner. I was very naive about it just assumed since most women found other women attractive it was normal in addition to growing up around guys, thought I just picked up on their habits. Once I realized it was more than a innocent attraction I felt like I missed out on what I now realize were crushes and it took longer to grow into who I am as a person. I feel I didn't get know myself fully until I found out this quite important fact about myself.0
-
I try to live my life without regrets. That's a promise I made to myself very young. And I try to look at my life like everything is a sign, a choice, a decision that will change my life in two very different ways.
If I wouldn't have made those (what seems like horrible) decisions, I wouldn't be who I am today.
I survived a suicide attempt and it opened my eyes to see all of the freaking AMAZING things that life has to offer. If I wouldn't have tried, my mother would have gone on ignoring my problems and bullying me.
I have never been with men and I have been 'out' to my friends since I was 11 years old. But when I finally came out to my mother, she destroyed me. My sister (who I raised like a daughter) told me we were just unfortunately blood related and that's all I was to her anymore. But if I didn't do that, I could never live the life I'm living with my girlfriend right now.
I have never been more free, more alive. Lying bears too much weight on the soul. And regrets are like dragging your feet in the mud.
Live life unrestrained, my friends! Don't look at these things like regrets, they were choices we had to make and made. Without them, we wouldn't be who we are. And for those of you who didn't tell someone you loved them... maybe you weren't supposed to?
Who knows what the future holds!0 -
Turning 40 next month and never having an actual girlfriend. I used to blame my career (Air Force), but now .... I just don't know how to meet someone.
It's scary out there for us. Unless we're in a totally 'out' area, we don't know who to strike up a conversation with! lol Who wants to waste time and self-esteem hittin' on a straight girl? lol
I always met people online. I've met some crazies, but I've also met some lifelong friends. That's how I met my wife!0 -
I try to live my life without regrets. That's a promise I made to myself very young. And I try to look at my life like everything is a sign, a choice, a decision that will change my life in two very different ways.
If I wouldn't have made those (what seems like horrible) decisions, I wouldn't be who I am today.
I survived a suicide attempt and it opened my eyes to see all of the freaking AMAZING things that life has to offer. If I wouldn't have tried, my mother would have gone on ignoring my problems and bullying me.
I have never been with men and I have been 'out' to my friends since I was 11 years old. But when I finally came out to my mother, she destroyed me. My sister (who I raised like a daughter) told me we were just unfortunately blood related and that's all I was to her anymore. But if I didn't do that, I could never live the life I'm living with my girlfriend right now.
I have never been more free, more alive. Lying bears too much weight on the soul. And regrets are like dragging your feet in the mud.
Live life unrestrained, my friends! Don't look at these things like regrets, they were choices we had to make and made. Without them, we wouldn't be who we are. And for those of you who didn't tell someone you loved them... maybe you weren't supposed to?
Who knows what the future holds!
This brought tears to my eyes! I am so sorry you had to grow up like that. Thank you for sharing, and I am so happy you overcame these obstacles.0 -
You are so incredibly brave.I try to live my life without regrets. That's a promise I made to myself very young. And I try to look at my life like everything is a sign, a choice, a decision that will change my life in two very different ways.
If I wouldn't have made those (what seems like horrible) decisions, I wouldn't be who I am today.
I survived a suicide attempt and it opened my eyes to see all of the freaking AMAZING things that life has to offer. If I wouldn't have tried, my mother would have gone on ignoring my problems and bullying me.
I have never been with men and I have been 'out' to my friends since I was 11 years old. But when I finally came out to my mother, she destroyed me. My sister (who I raised like a daughter) told me we were just unfortunately blood related and that's all I was to her anymore. But if I didn't do that, I could never live the life I'm living with my girlfriend right now.
I have never been more free, more alive. Lying bears too much weight on the soul. And regrets are like dragging your feet in the mud.
Live life unrestrained, my friends! Don't look at these things like regrets, they were choices we had to make and made. Without them, we wouldn't be who we are. And for those of you who didn't tell someone you loved them... maybe you weren't supposed to?
Who knows what the future holds!0 -
Hmmm, this is hard to put into words.
I would never take back/regret meeting my husband but I do wish that it had happened later than it did. I was 18 when we met and we've been together ever since. I wish I had had the chance to explore a relationship with a woman.
I still think about it a lot and my husband is open to me having a female relationship, but I'm just not sure I could do it to him. He understands my feelings (poly wise) and knows I'm bi. And he's even told me that it wouldn't bother him, I just don't know that I could do it.
And hell, even if I could, I doubt I could ever find someone who would be open to a relationship with a married woman, let alone around here in the Midwest.
This sounds like me. My husband is fine with me being with another woman. I've never really had the chance to (been with hubby since age 19) so maybe eventually I'll find someone.
And I'm in the Midwest too! Coincidence!0 -
No regrets in the romantic realm. As long as women insist on overtly hitting on me (by the way, I'm not a catch or anything. People probably just see me as harmless enough to hit on :noway: ), I'm going to freak out. :laugh: I can be outgoing, but I get really shy whenever someone shows an interest in me romantically. I don't think that's going to change. Just have to wait for a very subtle girl to be interested.
Santa, I promise I'll be a good girl next year. Probably too late this year. :laugh:0 -
its hard. we actually just talked the other night about getting back together she told me she still loves me and misses me its all very confusing but good thing is is that it gives me the motivation to work out so i can get things off my mind.0
-
letting my ex go. we dated for three years she was and still is the love of my lfie. We didnt talk for about a year and she is now one of my best friends but those old feelings will never go away but i guess its better to have her in my life than not at all
I'm not friends with any of my serious exes, I don't think I could be. It seems impossible being friends with someone I once loved (especially if I wasn't out of love with them). Idk how you do it.
its hard. we actually just talked the other night about getting back together she told me she still loves me and misses me its all very confusing but good thing is is that it gives me the motivation to work out so i can get things off my mind.0 -
letting my ex go. we dated for three years she was and still is the love of my lfie. We didnt talk for about a year and she is now one of my best friends but those old feelings will never go away but i guess its better to have her in my life than not at all
I'm not friends with any of my serious exes, I don't think I could be. It seems impossible being friends with someone I once loved (especially if I wasn't out of love with them). Idk how you do it.
its hard. we actually just talked the other night about getting back together she told me she still loves me and misses me its all very confusing but good thing is is that it gives me the motivation to work out so i can get things off my mind.
Using it for motivation, brilliant! Sorry it is so confusing for you dear 0 -
I regret...
...not loving myself as a teen.
...thinking that any guy that paid attention to me had feelings for me.
...putting so much faith into people I already KNEW weren't worth it.
...not auditioning for cheer tryouts or joining art club in high school.
...not getting help for my anxiety sooner.
...not going clubbing while i still lived in atlanta...because then i could openly hit on women in the club instead of here in stick-up-the-butt alabama. -.-
BUT.
I never dated anyone before I met the One. I waited and listened to the voice that said something was out there for me. I'm very proud of that, and it makes me feel better about the things I fail at.0 -
I regret being so harsh to the openly bi girl at my school. Not to her face, but I judged her pretty harshly in my mind. Deep down I knew, I KNEW that I was like her, and lashing out at her mentally was a way for me to stay in denial awhile longer. I also wish I had defended her when others made fun of her. She never seemed all that bothered by it, but I'm sure it wasn't easy.
I also regret not being more confident around my crushes, but that being said, everything led me to where I am now, so...I REGRET NOTHING! But I will forever wonder if the cute pixie redhead felt the same spark I did. 0 -
that's very poignant, brain tickling too.
thinking back to my first year out of middle school, I was a relentless little *kitten* preying on the sensitive kids or the ones who were comfortable with their personality and all. So funny how I felt so strongly against everything then.
I'm just happy I came to my senses somehow around age 16.0 -
(...)0
-
Mine: not telling the first woman I fell in love with that I loved her. It still bothers me, to this day, that I had such a strong and real emotion that I never expressed.
me too.0 -
Mine: not telling the first woman I fell in love with that I loved her. It still bothers me, to this day, that I had such a strong and real emotion that I never expressed.
me too.
She actually recently contacted me, but I don't want to mess with fire since I am engaged. Although I still am curious about her.0 -
Mine: not telling the first woman I fell in love with that I loved her. It still bothers me, to this day, that I had such a strong and real emotion that I never expressed.
me too.
She actually recently contacted me, but I don't want to mess with fire since I am engaged. Although I still am curious about her.
ok.... I will stop calling you! hahah
biggest regret... Not attacking a girl I really like when she came down to visit me. LOL.. damn me for being shy. hahah0 -
My biggest regret is not trying harder at school and getting into university. I feel as though I've been left behind by all my friends. I can't get a job either so I'm in a bad place at the moment. The job market is so competitive and im not a lying, over-confident douche so naturally I don't get picked when I go for interviews.0
-
mine is a bit different....
My biggest regret is the way I reacted when I found out my youngest brother was gay
I didn't say anything hateful and I certainly didn't think differently of him but I was afraid how our dad would react because he always seemed homophobic and I said some things that hurt my brother and i'll never forgive myself for it.
He's my best friend and we're incredibly close but I wish i could take back the things i said 0 -
My biggest regret is telling my gf that I wasn't ready for marriage. Not because I didn't see myself with her for the rest of our lives but because I was scared of what the world would think. The irony of it is a month before she left me for this very reason I bought an engagement ring and was planning to propose, yet I had never told her I was ready to take that step.
So four months later and still heart broken I am watching her move on with someone else. I still love her and I would give anything to go back and jump in with both feet.
OMG, go after her!!! Tell her you had bought a ring! If she still has feelings for you you can so get her back!0 -
Well, HI there good lookin'! See, now you've met me.
Want to be friends?
:laugh:0
This discussion has been closed.